If you’re from the midwest, like I am, then there are certain things you just know in your heart.
One thing you definitely DON’T know, though, is where exactly the midwest even is. I mean, where you’re from is part of it, for sure, but the term is kind of slippery.
It’s not like “West Coast,” where there’s a clear criteria test. Does your state touch the Pacific Ocean? Yes? Then it’s part of the West Coast. But “mid” west?
It’s a point of contention according to everyone with whom I’ve ever broached the subject. For the record, the federal government apparently considers the following states to be the “official” midwest: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.
It’s a big club. And we all know what’s up. This Twitter account certainly does.
10. The window clean
I could stand out here freezing my fingers off for another hour and be late to work or I could just get in my warm car and risk it all.
Midwest morning commute pic.twitter.com/nP5OsKIdDT
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) December 1, 2020
9. The wind
It’s really the only thing that matters.
Midwesterners: not so bad without the wind today
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 31, 2021
8. The culture
In Missouri you need to replace that last picture with a QuikTrip.
“tHe MiDwEsT DoEsN’T hAvE aNy CuLtUrE”
Oh yeah? Explain this pic.twitter.com/0nFc4CGcoF
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 5, 2020
7. The time
Would ya just look at it?
If you say “welp, I spose it’s that time” in a mirror three times, a midwesterner will appear and ask you to play cornhole
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 27, 2020
6. The snacks
The last one is called “puppy chow.”
I don’t know why, I wish it weren’t true, but that’s how it goes.
One of the biggest struggles of growing up in the Midwest is explaining what these are pic.twitter.com/AcGq81wuCg
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) June 1, 2020
5. The cows
If you drive by cows and don’t say the word “cows” then I’m going to have to assume you’re physically incapable of speech.
New York: skyscrapers!
LA: California girls 🤪
South: everything is bigger here
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 4, 2020
4. The summer 60
It really is the perfect temperature.
People in the Midwest when it’s 60 degrees vs people in California when it’s 60 pic.twitter.com/J6fiZ1aiUc
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 22, 2021
3. The scream
And in that moment you question everything that has brought you here.
Every midwesterner knows the only way to get warm in a cold car is scream as loud as possible and rub your hands together
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 28, 2020
2. The wiper trick
It helps a little?
Midwesterners do this and think they’ve beat Mother Nature pic.twitter.com/28FEirVkCs
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 15, 2021
1. The “salads”
Somehow they have more calories than the burger.
Midwesterners: I might have a salad
The salad: pic.twitter.com/q47WqAtRBQ
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) July 5, 2020
Ope, looks like it’s about that time!
What’s the most midwestern thing you’ve ever done?
Tell us in the comments.