It seems like the world of parenting has changed so much since the advent of social media.
Some parents think they have a lot to live up to and they do things that might not necessarily be good for their kids. At all.
And there seems to be a lot of these examples out there.
What “parenting tricks” can actually mess up kids? Here’s what folks on AskReddit users had to say.
1. Messed up.
“Pretending to call the police when you’ve done something bad.
Did you know that there are YouTube videos with fake police calls, including a voice for the police officer, and they are always made to be intimidating?
One of them even said something along the lines of “If they have not stopped crying, we will send them to the military camp.” Or something like that. It is messed up.”
2. No privacy.
“I think this is obvious, but apparently not to a handful of parents I’ve met. Snooping through your children’s stuff and making it everybody’s business to know what you find.
Bonus points for being encouraging of your other children to invade their privacy as well. This happened to me when I was in foster care. I was already f**ked up and this took away few of my only coping mechanisms.”
3. That’s not motivation.
“Putting down your child to “motivate” them.
My parents never gave me positive reinforcement, they’d be quick to jump all over my mistakes and they even told me that I was faking my grades when I got the straight A’s they wanted.
It didn’t do anything except sow the seeds of self-doubt that I still have to this day.”
4. Gotta be socialized.
“Not letting the child go to any party or meet friends after school?
Well, this is how you get an adult with no social skills!”
5. Leads to issues.
“”Next time” promises to make the child not complain, but are never fulfilled.
It only leads to trust issues.”
6. A bad lesson.
“Giving kids the Silent Treatment when they’re in trouble
It honestly teaches them to shut down when things get difficult rather than talk things through.
I am personally unlearning that behavior to this day because of how often my mom did that.”
7. You see a lot of this.
“Scare tactics. My mom was always telling me horrible stories to scare me not to do things.
Like yes I get it, I won’t play by the train tracks or the canal but it seemed like everything I wanted to do had a scary story to go with it. Even when I was going to college and trying to decide on a career.
Oh you don’t want to do that because so and so did that and are now homeless, divorced, depressed, etc.”
8. Going about it the wrong way.
“Cleaning your room as a punishment or something to hold over your kid if they want to do something fun.
This will give your kid the impression cleaning their room is a bad thing. Treat it as something you both can do together, encourage them to do it because they want to.
I’ve decided that I will always help my kid clean his room solely to achieve the goal of a clean room, that’s it.”
9. Boundaries are important.
“Not allowing kids to have their own boundaries.
Forcing them to hug, kiss or be touched by relatives if when they don’t want to or ask for it to stop.”
10. Leads to bad things.
“Stop telling your kids they wont be mad if they tell the truth, then get mad when they do.
It taught me how to make a d**n good lie, hell, you don’t even know if I’m lying right now.”
“Forcing kids to share everything with everyone – even a kid they just met.
Ownership is a thing. Respecting ownership is a thing. Belongings have a value.
You don’t see adults randomly coming up and asking to “share” your iPhone because they want to play Candy Crush too. (And if they do, most sane people are going to say “no.”).”
12. You can be unhappy.
“Thinking that you should always keep your kid happy.
Always trying to keep your kid happy, always giving them what they want and always distract away any negative emotions will lead to them never learning emotional regulation, acceptance of boundaries, recilience in uphill battles, admitting wrongdoing and learning from mistakes, self esteem, communication skills…
Just the whole shebang.Everything in moderation, even happiness.”
“My parents would ignore any medical issue and say that I was lazy or it was because I ate poorly (???you buy the food?????) Nothing happened until at 17 I fell into a myxedema coma.
Turns out I had many many untreated autoimmune conditions that have caused permanent issues because they were ignored.
My parents still, as an adult, gaslight me when I say I have anything wrong or still outright deny I’m chronically ill.”
14. Never wrong.
“”I’m your parent, I’m always right.”
“You need to listen and just say okay to what I tell you to do!”
Cut to me as a 25 year old who always has an anxiety attack whenever I stand up for myself…”
Do you have any “parenting tricks” to add to this conversation?
Talk to us in the comments.
Thanks in advance!