A Coworker Called Her Husband Useless. Did She Overreact With Her Response?

If you call someone’s spouse useless, I would think that you should probably expect a pretty harsh comeback.

But now a woman is asking AskReddit users if she went to far…

Let’s see what went down.

AITA for my response when my coworker called my husband useless?

“I F36 work at a company and recently we had a new employee join our department “Pam”. Most my co workers are moms.

They suggested that we gather at lunch break and start conversations with Pam and get to know her more. Pam was friendly, We started talking about our typical day to day routine. When it was my turn I answered saying that I wake up at 6am. Clean up, make breakfast, Get the kids ready then take them to school then pick them up from school after work then do chores then clean then do laundry.

Pam interrupted me saying “wow!!! So your husband is one of those useless overgrown man children that women try to parent along with their children then” everyone was like “hmm” I was taken aback but said “actually my husband is severly disabled he can’t work or do chores or child care.”

She made a face and replied “Oh well, my point still stands that you’re basically living as a single mother except, at least your husband is not entirly useless in this case and does bring something to the table which is social security disability benefits I suppose?

But I’m sure it doesn’t make up for him being an absent father and husband due to his disability” I got extremely offended that she was talking about my husband, the love of my life and father of my children like that. The ladies were like “oh my God”.

I said I didn’t appreciate how she spoke about my husband and she shrugged saying “well I wasn’t technically lying, right? With people like your husband there’s really no point of being married. If you’re acting like a single mom then might as well become one or go look for a real life partner” I just lashed out asking what the hell she was talking about and explained the important role my husband still has in mine and my children’s life..

I called her rude and disrespectful for how she was talking about him and how she belittled him as a husband and a father and told her that her remarks about my husband could be nothing more than projection on her part. She laughed and said “huh! My husband is a doctor, that much is enough!! Need I say more?”.

I asked if her husband cooks and cleans after he gets home. Then looked at her eyes and said “the tiredness in your eyes suggest that all housework and child care fall on you alone, correct?” She was red in the face she got quiet, looked around then got up and excused herself to the toilet looking upset.

The ladies said that Pam has her own believes/visions about disabled partners should be which is understandable and she was just giving her honest opinion but I took it too far by humiliating her and assuming her husband isn’t doing anything . But according to her reaction the answer was clear to me.

They thought I shouldn’t have spoken to our new co worker in a mean way and should’ve taken what she said with a grain of salt as it wasn’t personal. They wanted me to apologize but I said I won’t apologize for what I said even if I was rude.

My co workers argument is that they too received harsh comments from Pam but didn’t take it personally since they were venting about their husbands.”