Oh, grow up!
Nobody ever really wants to hear that…but sometimes it’s necessary, you know?
And this man had to put his own fiancée in check because of the way she treated his coworker.
But now he wants to know if he acted like an a**hole…let’s see what happened.
AITA for telling my fiancee to get her insecurities in check and grow up after she humiliated my coworker?
“Recently I (25m) got engaged to my amazing fiancee (24f) Amy.
I was the happiest I have ever been when Amy said yes and was nothing but excited for our wedding. We started planning the venues, the dates and the invites. When talking about who to invite, we both agreed to invite out coworkers as we have worked in our respective jobs for years and like them all.
As I checked that off the list, Amy spoke up and said everyone from my job can come except my work friend Tally (26f). Tally is also one of my close friends so this surprised me that Amy didn’t want to invite her. She has met Tally multiple times and there didn’t seem to be any issues.
When I asked why, she said she just doesn’t like her and finds our friendship uncomfortable, saying she thinks that Tally is the type of person to try to sway taken men and be the center of attention.
After talking some more to see where she got this idea, it turned out this was based on nothing but Tally’s looks as even Amy admitted that Tally is always very kind to her. But still, Amy is adamant about Tally not going and said that she makes her insecure. Amy is a beautiful woman so I dont know why she feels this way.
I told Amy that if it makes her feel comfortable not having Tally at the wedding then that is fine, BUT before invitations go out I wanted to speak to her privately to let her know to save embarrassment. Amy agreed and that was really that, we didn’t speak on the matter after.
A week or so later i went into work and Tally started to ignore me, only really talking if it was work related. I was confused as it isnt just her, our coworkers have started to ignore her and acting strange to me. So I contacted her bf, only for him to be sarcastic on the phone. I asked what the problem was when he asked if I actually didnt know what happened.
He then filled me in. Turned out a few days earlier Amy came to my work on my day off with invitations (I had no idea she even made them yet) and handed everyone an invite in front of Tally, then saying to Tally “you aren’t invited, women like you aren’t welcome” which has sparked everyone suggesting she is my “other woman”. Since then she has been harassed by some guys at work and shunned by the women. She is now looking for another job.
This pi**ed me off and I apologised profusely as I didn’t know. When I got home that night I confronted Amy about this. She denied it at first, but then told me she did it but it is now not an issue because she’s quitting her job. I flipped on her saying how she clearly didnt trust me to say and that she crossed a line doing all this behind my back.
She didn’t see the problem and got upset asking me why I’m so mad, me responding “if we are really going to get married, get your insecurities in check and grow up”.
I stayed at a friends since but have had texts from Amy, her friends and her mother saying I was an as**hole for this and that Amy doesn’t deserve this treatment.
And here’s how Reddit users reacted.
This reader said that this guy might want to consider putting his wedding on hold.
Another Reddit user said that there are a ton of red flags in this relationship.
This individual said that this guy needs to RUN away from this relationship.
And this person said that the fiancée is the a**hole because she admitted that this whole thing is based on looks. Ugh!
What do you think?
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