I’ve never been married before but I have a hard time believing that I’d run a background check on someone I was about to (hopefully) spend the rest of my life with…

But I guess I shouldn’t say that unless I’ve been there, right?

Take a look at this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page to see if you think this woman overreacted when she found out what her husband did before they tied the knot.

AITA for how I reacted after I found out my husband ran a secret background check on me before we got married?

“We’ve been married for 3 years and I only just found out recently that before we got married my husband ran a background check on me and my family.

I found out because we were on vacation with his family and they were doing things I had no interest in participating in a few times so I stayed behind. He let me borrow his laptop because I left mine at home.

I made a folder with my name and I was searching for it when I found another folder with my name. The folder was full of reports on me, my family (including extended family) and two of my childhood friends.

I read as much of the reports as I could before my husband and his family came home for the day. At first, I was just hurt he would do something like this without talking to me first but as I read more and started finding out things about my family and friends that I never even knew, I started to get angry. It’s hard to put it into words but I felt like I had gone cold all over but also like it wasn’t me reading these things.

So, when I saw my husband, I exploded on him in front of his family. At first, he tried to say it wasn’t a big deal and his cousin chimed in to say it was normal and he wasn’t the only one who had done it in their family.

When he saw I wasn’t calming down he tried to get me to go into our room so we could talk about it privately but I told him I wasn’t going anywhere with him and I was leaving. My husband told me to stay and he would sleep somewhere else or he would leave but we were staying in a house owned by his parents and it felt weird for me to stay and make him leave, especially since his family were there still too.

I ended up staying at a hotel for the night and we both flew home shortly after that cutting the vacation short.


Now let’s see how Reddit users reacted.

This person said that this seems pretty over the top.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And another Reddit user said that it sounds like he might be planning something nefarious…

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this person said that if he’s going to act this way then he should agree to a complete background check on his family, too.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Do you think this woman overreacted?

Or was she justified?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know. Thanks!