As my dad likes to say (over and over), “common sense isn’t very common.”
And as I’ve gotten older, I realize that he’s been right on the money all along!
I should’ve known…
Did you ever have a really smart friend do something really dumb?
These AskReddit users did and they shared their stories. Let’s check them out.
1. Close call.
“Guy with a PhD in chemistry.
Had a problem with electric furnace, it kept switching off the circuit breakers. So he was told by someone to stick a wooden splinter in it to keep the switch up, but it was too weak and the gap in the breaker too narrow.
So he took some strip of metal instead….Well, he still lives but he said he almost s**t himself.”
2. What a story.
“I have a grandfather who was an extremely talented criminal who used to rob store safes.
One time he robbed a safe while posing as an inspector without even being noticed. He eventually turned himself in after starting a family (having my mom) then summarily escaped from prison, and managed to create a fake identity with a loophole that has now been closed.
He lived with a fake last name for several years until he was eventually caught. However, he managed to negotiate for a pardon by explaining the loophole he used to create his fake name. (It was either the mayor or the governor, I forget). He went free and got a job as a maintenance guy.
Then he retired and gave all of his money to a scam televangelist and now lives in poverty.”
3. I bet that was tasty.
“My friend has a master’s degree in mechanical engineering and robotics.
He once made a potato salad with raw potatoes because he thought, since it’s a salad, you’re not supposed to cook it.”
4. What’s that sound?
“My sister. My wonderful sister. So intelligent, educated… but dang.
They had their house inspected and the inspector found an issue with their gas heat. Called in a repairman and it turns out the were having lower levels of carbon monoxide leaking into their home. When my mom asked her why she didn’t have several working detectors she answered “well I did, but one just wouldn’t quit beeping”.
This was 10 years ago and we still bring it up all the time. Thankfully everyone turned out to be ok, but that wouldn’t have been the case much longer.”
5. Take cover!
“I have a neighbor, he is by far the smartest person I know.
A couple fourth of July’s ago he got a quarter stick of dynamite, and strapped it to an rc boat with a detonate button and a timer. He sent it out on the lake at night, flipped the switch and it didn’t go off. So he took it back into the house to fix it, but never turned the detonate button off.
So when it was fixed the 7 second timer started going. It ended up going off in the house and blowing out all of the windows. Everyone was safe.”
“Dad’s an actuary. Basically a cross between a mathematician and an economist. Wrote a text book for his field, and has been CEO of several very large companies.
I came home many years ago to hear Age of Empires blaring at a million dB. Thats odd. I wander downstairs to find him playing the game, with headphones on… but unplugged.
He had the sound turned up on the speakers because he couldn’t hear it over the dampening of the headphones. To top it off, he had the headphones on backwards.
To this day makes me smirk.”
“My brother was in college and needed a toaster.
He ordered one off of Amazon for $3 and was surprised to find one so cheap.
Turns out it was a kid’s toy. It came with plastic pieces of bread, as well.”
8. No common sense.
“Brother in law is a pretty clever guy.
Ran a bath for his kid, couldn’t get the tap to turn off, mad panic, rang a plumber friend asking him to come round quick or the house is gonna flood. Friend was like, you could just pull the plug?
Real nice, real clever guy. Zero common sense.”
“I did my undergrad with a guy who got an almost perfect score on his MCAT.
But… he also ate a raw chicken breast because he thought it was a really bad Hot Pocket (he was sober).”
10. Is this thing on?
“They used their bare hand to check if the stove was still hot by pressing it directly on the burner, and they had two doctorates.”
11. Oh, Dad…
“My dad, a professor.
Got his mortgage down to $20,000 and had the opportunity to pay it all. Redrew and bought a brand new car. Totalled car.
Bought another brand new car. Gave it to girlfriend at the time. Girlfriend left and kept car. Currently owes $250,000 on his same mortgage.”
12. Brilliant, but…
He’s a mathematician for the Feds, but he has repeatedly gotten us to the wrong airport in cities that have more than one. Like at least three times.
He’s brilliant, but a moron.”
13. I don’t know…
“I lived in Colorado Springs. My friend came into town and was booked into a hotel.
I called and asked for the name or address of the hotel and he told me he did not know, but he could see the mountains from where he was.
He narrowed his location down to a time zone.”
14. Don’t do that!
“My friend in college graduated Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Biology and Chemistry.
She went on to medical school and became a physician in a hospital you’ve definitely heard of.
One day she put a fork in the microwave when heating up a bowl of green beans, and I had to explain to her why the microwave sounded like it was full of firecrackers.”
15. Look up there.
“I don’t know if he’s necessarily the smartest person I know but I know a pretty smart astrophysicist who pointed out a ‘star’ to us which was in fact a plane.”
16. Where could it be?
“My brother has PhDs in bioengineering.
We were on a call one day and he was saying “i can’t find my phone. Probably my kids took it.”
Didn’t realize until i told him that he was using his phone to talk to me.”
17. We love her anyway…
“My mother: Oxford mathematics graduate with no parental leg up shall we say (aka not from a posh family or anything). Had her IQ tested officially in a proctored exam and got 163. Mensa member til she realized what kind of person joins Mensa. T
his woman CANNOT understand time zones. Which is ironic because her family lives in Australia, Hong Kong, the UK and the east and west coast of America. She never knows when it’s appropriate to be calling anyone and you may get a random call from her at 3 AM.
But we love her anyway.”
18. A terrible idea.
“A friend of mine, 4.0 GPA unweighted, 35 ACT, 36 Super score, smart kid.
But he went running barefoot in 101° weather on a gravel road because he wanted to increase his pain tolerance.”
“My dad. He had one of his ears pierced when he was in college. he went to a party wearing an earring.
A girl started talking to him and decided to give him one of her earrings, but he didn’t want to take his earring out, so he stabbed her earring through his unpierced earlobe.
This man is now an engineer.”
20. Too bad…
“I had a buddy, in school for Mechanical Engineering. Very bright, but a little on the cocky side.
He ended up moving to DFW TX area, ended up getting on m**h, losing his job, then into selling it, then stealing high dollar bicycles at the near by college campus.
Ends up getting caught with Felony theft and m**h distribution.
Now he’s on felony probation for 10 years, and lost his college scholarship.”
21. The White Tornado.
“Owned a white panel van and lined the entire back with white shag carpeting.
In less than two months was doing tricks on a friends dirt bike and got horrific road rash on his face and torso and had to be driven to the hospital in his van.
Blood everywhere. Ruined the back. Wasted all that money on shag. And he called the van White Tornado.”
“Got married due to family pressure. Super talented scientific mind. Had 70+ publications before getting married.
Now admits that his pace has not only slowed down but wife is edging him to change profession because scientific research doesn’t pay as per her expectations.”
“He sells insurance
He didnt have insurance when his car was stolen.”
24. Not quite…
“One of my friends, high school valedictorian, super smart math major.
He heard so many jokes about the university of Chicago being called “UC Hicago” that he unironically thought Chicago was a city in California.”
25. Just checking.
“My incredibly smart and smoking hot wife driving into our condo parkade slows down and looks over to my parking spot.
I asked her why to which she replied “I just want to see if you are home from work” yes I was in the passenger seat.”
“My dad is the smartest person I (and anyone who knows him) know and once when we were kids he tried to make us laugh by sticking peas in his nostrils and ended up accidentally snorting them up into his nasal passages.
Best part: he’s an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. One of the best in the region.
I can still hear him pleading with my mother to take them out because he couldn’t face his colleagues with peas up his nose that he voluntarily put there.”
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