Some people hold grudges like there’s no tomorrow…and that’s not good for you!
So is it wrong to tell someone that they need to cool it with the grudge stuff if you think it’s damaging their life?
Read this woman’s story and see what you think.
AITA for telling my sister she’s going to lose her daughter over the grudge she keeps carrying?
“My sister Viv has a daughter named Serenity. I’ll call her Sera for the post. So when Sera was 7 her dad passed away.
Her dad walked out the door to work that morning and got into an accident which cost him and two others their lives. Viv was shell shocked. She and Sera’s dad were high school sweethearts who had Sera the year after they finished college. Sera and her dad were as close as could be and his loss rocked her.
About a year later Viv met her current husband Michael. A year after they started dating they introduced Sera and Michael’s daughter Mia to each other. Sera was 9 at the time and asked her mom not to keep dating Michael and not to be Mia’s stepmom. She told Viv she wanted her to herself and didn’t want to be second choice to her.
Viv, instead of showing concern that Sera would feel that way, or even ask some questions about where that was coming from, called her selfish and told her she was a child who had no idea how the world worked and would not get to be selfish by denying another kid a mom. She also told her Michael was looking forward to being her stepdad and that she’d be better off having another dad and a sister for the first time.
I remember at the time telling Viv that she had felt the very same way when our dad married our stepmom. And we didn’t even lose our mom to death, she just left our lives. Viv was especially angry that our stepmom had two kids of her own and didn’t want anything to do with them. She said she was a selfish little bit**h back then too and realizes now they were the best thing to happen to us.
Sera is 16 now and she’s in high school. Mia is 15 and also in high school. The girls are not close. I think both still see themselves as only children and they’re not claiming each other from what I know.
Viv has held onto what Sera said as a 9 year old girl who lost her dad and was scared to lose her mom, and because she and Mia aren’t close, she brings it up to her constantly and accuses her of trying to get her way by not embracing Mia. Michael, I have come to realize, just wanted someone to raise his daughter, and is not really involved all that deeply in anything related to his marriage to Viv or being a parent to either girl, even Mia.
Sera told me, my husband and my MIL (who acts as another grandma to her) that she feels like her mom h**es her and that she wishes she could move out. She told me she can see now that Mia is more important to her and that unless she loves Mia and adopts her as a real sister she’ll never have her mom back. She also told me she wishes she had never said anything to Viv and how much it makes her wish her dad was still around.
Viv didn’t like how much time Sera was spending with us, confronted me and I told her she would lose her daughter if she doesn’t get over this grudge and accept that her child just wanted to experience less change after such a big loss. Viv said I was ruining her family. She also called me a b**ch.
Check out how folks reacted on Reddit.
This reader said she’s NTA and that her sister might have already lost her daughter.
Another reader she needs to keep checking in on her niece and not to leave her alone.
And this individual said her niece needs to be in a safe place to escape her turbulent life.
What do you think about this story?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks in advance!