I never received an A+ in anything (come to think of it, I don’t even think I ever actually got a B+), so that’s why I got so very excited to be able to present some funny tweets to you that all received the highest grade possible!
Hey, if this is the closest I get to being perfect, I’m gonna have to live with that.
You gotta take the good things in this life when you can, ya know…?
Anyway, these tweets are all hilarious and are clearly Ivy League material, so check them out and we think you’ll feel pretty smart!
1. They’re not really dependable, are they?
Might as well just throw them all in the dumpster.
Plants in the wild: taking whatever Mother Nature throws at them and thriving
Houseplants: “you watered me on Sunday versus Saturday so now I must die”
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) April 28, 2019
2. Honey, dinner’s ready.
Thanks, Mom! I mean…my boyfriend…
my boyfriend is making me beef stroganoff because he is not only my boyfriend, but also my mother and it is the year 1976
— rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) May 1, 2019
3. This really does not look good.
For any of the parties involved.
R.I.P my moms vagina pic.twitter.com/KgCOjGZse7
— carolube (@bananaemojis) August 13, 2017
4. Trust me, you wouldn’t like this.
But maybe it would help her tummy? Just a thought…
My dog just watched me eat a Pepto Bismol tab the way I watched my friend make out with my crush at junior prom
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) May 3, 2019
5. Honey…where are you?
That’s kind of infuriating, isn’t it?
95% of any Home Depot trip is spent trying to find my husband again.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 28, 2017
6. Your version is gonna be WAY better.
It’s time to put him in his place.
I’m gonna need my husband to hurry up and finish his story so I can tell the same story but, like, a lot better.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) December 3, 2017
7. That’s all it takes in that world!
You passed the ultimate test!
*shows up 45 minutes late for my interview to be a cable installer*
Interviewer: “You’re hired.”
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) May 1, 2019
8. Does this sound like your life right now?
It sure sounds like mine!
[dipping my feather quill into the inkwell and adjusting my spectacles] dearest diary, it seems the day is different but the shit remaineth the same
— kaci sue who (@kacisuewho) April 30, 2019
9. You really blew it this time.
Get your sh*t together!
You had 2 hours to put your shoes on… https://t.co/TDGYz2vwr1
— robowife (@itsregn) May 1, 2019
10. Hey, we have a lot in common!
I do the exact same thing!
i do one thing a day that scares me. i wake up
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) May 1, 2019
Okay, you know the drill…
Now it’s your turn to make us laugh!
In the comments, share some funny tweets you’ve seen lately that you think we’d like.
Thanks a lot!
