Marriage is like an epic struggle.
It reminds me of the lyrics from that classic Survivor song Burning Heart from the incredible cinematic masterpiece Rocky IV:
“Two worlds collide
It’s a primitive clash
Venting years of frustrations
Bravely we hope
Against all hope
There is so much at stake
Seems our freedom’s up
Against the ropes”
You agree with me, right? Marriage is like a battle where you and your spouse are consistently trying to outwit each other and prove each other wrong.
It’s a lot of fun! And these tweets prove it!
Let’s take a look!
1. I heard you the first time!
Wow…she’s not messing around.
80% of marriage is repeating yourself.
I SAID 80% OF MARRIAGE IS REPEATING YOURSELF.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 2, 2020
2. Something to shoot for.
This is now your life.
Get married and have kids and then hopefully you too can one day say things like, “I’m sorry I micromanaged the way you braided our daughter’s doll’s hair”.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 2, 2020
3. You’re in charge!
And don’t you forget it!
My wife is 5 feet 2 inches tall. I always wanted a short wife. Now I can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) July 2, 2020
4. That’s a pretty good life hack.
He still hasn’t learned his lesson?
Me: You just sat on my glasses.
Husband: *Stands up* What?
Me: While you’re up, can you grab some popcorn?
Falls for it every time.
— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker ? (@sixfootcandy) July 4, 2020
5. Not a bad reason to tie the knot.
People have done it for far less.
Only having to take the dog out every other poop is reason enough to get married.
— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker ? (@sixfootcandy) July 1, 2020
6. That’s a hard thing to figure out.
I think we know who’s running the show here.
I miss the days when finding something to watch didn’t also include finding something that my wife can still follow while looking at her phone.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 7, 2020
7. You idiot! Not like that!
Get it together, dude.
Wife: Why can't you put your dishes in the dishwasher?
Also my wife: OMG not like that
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 2, 2020
8. I’m every woman!
Now I can’t get that song out of my head.
My husband has finally given up on the notion that he will be able to have an uninterrupted conference call when his coworkers heard me belting out “I’m Every Woman” and has moved his office to the basement.
— Nonchalant Charlotte (@jellybnbonanza) July 1, 2020
9. Let’s watch something “light”.
That’s more like it.
The news is so disturbing and anxiety inducing so to relax my husband and I are watching The Shining
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) July 13, 2020
10. YOU GOTTA TASTE THIS.
Some men are just like this.
Every restaurant I’ve ever been to my husband takes a bite of whatever he ordered and says, “You gotta taste this.”
Bad or good, it doesn’t matter. It must be tasted.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 11, 2020
11. What ever happened to Mary?
She’s still pregnant, right?
Me: My friend Mary is pregnant.
[10 YEARS LATER]
Husband: Hey, did your friend Mary have her baby?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 9, 2020
12. Sure, sounds great…
This sums it up.
My daughter asked me what marriage was like and I nodded and said that sounded great. Then she asked me if I was even listening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 7, 2020
Are you married?
Does your partner sometimes drive you up the wall?
Tell us some funny/annoying stories in the comments.
Let’s see what you got! Thanks, fam!