Ahhh, yes, here we go again with another round of hilarious tweets that all of our married friends are going to appreciate.
If you’ve tied the knot, you know that it’s never easy and your bond is a constant push and pull through the hardships of life.
And even if you’re deeply in love with your spouse, there’s no doubt about it…they tend to drive you TOTALLY INSANE from time to time.
But that’s part of the deal, you know?
So, instead of blowing up at your husband or wife when they load the dishwasher the wrong way tonight, laugh at these tweets instead.
Let’s get started!
1. Where are you off to, honey?
She’s really not gonna appreciate this.
My wife leaving for Pilates every Thursday morning for the last two years: I’m leaving.
Me: Where’re you going?
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) July 23, 2020
2. No more conversations!
I can’t handle it anymore!
Husband: I think we need to talk about…
Me: I don’t like where this is heading.
Husband: Where do you think it’s heading?
Me: A conversation.— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 20, 2020
3. I told you so!
Just keep this on repeat.
The success of my marriage is measured by how many times a week I say, “I told you so” to my husband.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) July 29, 2020
4. I knew you were full of it!
There she is!
Surgeon: I can't find the clot
Wife: *from gallery* oh BIG surprise
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) July 20, 2020
5. You want to see dramatic?
I’ll show you dramatic!
If your husband tells you you're being too dramatic don't forget to bow when you thank him.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) June 13, 2020
6. It’s been a really bad day.
What are you trying to say, exactly?
Wife: I need another beer.
Me: Another one?
Wife: Yeah. I’ve had an awful day.
Me: What? You were with me all day.
Wife:
Me:
Wife:
Me: You want it in a chilled glass or— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 20, 2020
7. This is HOT.
That flame is RED HOT right now.
My wife and I are comparing bug bites if you want to know how to keep things fresh.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 28, 2020
8. This is disgusting!
I want a cookie!
me: i'm gonna go get a cookie
wife: have some fruit instead
me: but i want a cookie
wife: fruit is better for you
me: okay, fine
wife: you'll thank me later
me: pic.twitter.com/Aub8gK7H5U— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) July 25, 2020
9. Can someone please take him in?
It’s not gonna work out in this house.
So it turns out that my husband is allergic to my new cat. Sadly, I have to rehome him.
Anyone interested in a sneezing middle aged man?
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 8, 2020
10. You might want to pull back on the impulse buys.
Just sayin’…
Wife: You guys never eat the food before it goes bad!
Also my wife: *buys 40lbs of grapes because they’re on sale*
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 25, 2020
11. Here are the new vows.
There is one exception, however…
New marriage vows should include: I will laugh with you, and not at you. Unless you try to make a Tiktok video with the kids.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 16, 2020
12. We need a much bigger head start.
Ten minutes? Give me a break!
Me: I need everyone in the van in ten minutes.
Wife: Not enough time. You should have stated earlier.
Me: Like when?
Wife: Yesterday.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 10, 2020
Now we want to hear from you!
Yeah, you!
In the comments, tell us something funny, hilarious, maddening, or plain ridiculous that your spouse has done lately.
Please and thank you!
