That saying “kids say the darndest things” exists for a reason, and if you have kids or are around kids every single day, you can definitely vouch for the fact that it’s true. Most of the funny things they say result from them trying to understand the world around them, which also can make it adorable – but in certain circumstances, it definitely doesn’t make it less awkward.
These 14 kids threw some real curveballs at their parents, and I can’t imagine the latter group was prepared. That said, they did their best to react in the moment, and as a parent myself, I salute them.
14. We’re not as smart as they think we are.
But we’re going to let them think we are for as long as they’ll believe it.
Kids are the best, man. They get all shocked when you figure out they did something wrong like, “mom how’d you know I colored on the table?” Um, because you wrote your fucking name on it?
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) January 17, 2019
13. She had to choose finger.
It was sort of cute until then.
I woke up to 3 yo kid #4 petting my head. I asked what she needed and she said 'i wish i had a piece of you that i could carry with me all the time. like your finger.' Haven't slept soundly since.
— marie bourgeois (@mmbtox) January 28, 2018
12. Me either, kid.
We all have to eat it though, so get some good floss.
4-year-old: Why do you go to work?
Me: They pay me a salary.
4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2015
11. If they haven’t seen it, it doesn’t exist.
I’m sure this makes perfect sense to kindergartners.
10. This is downright hilarious.
I would pay good money to see that mom’s face in that moment.
9. That’s a fair assessment.
Maybe call 9-1-1 first, though?
8. A girl after my true crime heart.
She’s just out there asking the real questions.
7. When you gotta know you gotta know.
Might want to avoid those ducks the next time you stroll through the park.
6. Well, time for a whole different conversation then.
Like what is trash and what isn’t. My 3yo is also confused.
We cant find my 6 year olds glasses. Today we asked him where they are. He said and I quote “I threw them in the garbage yesterday, the lenses were dirty”.
$400 – see yeah! pic.twitter.com/TBsP3laC3p
— Jesse Modz (@jessemodz) January 2, 2020
5. She was so calm about it, too.
This is a woman who has been on the job for more than a few years.
4. I love this kid so much.
He definitely deserves his Disney trip.
3. Just keep asking questions.
Assume they’re not really asking what it seems like they’re asking.
4: Mom, how long was dad inside you?
Me: What the f-
4: Well??? How long was he inside you before you had him?
Me: Oh honey no I didn’t birth your dad, grandma did!
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 5, 2020
2. You just wait for it.
Because you don’t want to be the one to break the bad news.
“Dad isn’t it weird that the word chicken can mean an animal or a type of food?”
– my kid, on the verge of making a horrific realization
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) March 29, 2021
1. The trauma is real to them.
Even if it makes absolutely no sense to anyone else.
(4yo daughter is crying her eyes out)
Me: "What's wrong, tutu?"
4yo (moving her hands on the sofa): "If my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa!"
Me: "But your fingers…are not…markers?"
4yo (peak distress): "I said IF!"
— Tomer Ullman (@TomerUllman) July 31, 2020
Your kids will, if nothing else, keep you on your toes, folks. Am I right?
What’s one of the funniest and most unexpected conversations you’ve had with one of your kids? Tell us about it in the comments!