To all the moms and dads out there: we’re here for you.
We know you need some laughs once in a while to help get through the tough times. And there are plenty of them, aren’t there?
Here are some hilarious tweets about parenting that will make you forget that your little ones are currently fighting over who gets to play dress-up with the family dog.
1. A good way to start the day.
But please wash that sock. Please.
I didn’t expect to begin my morning by telling my 4yo “Please take the sock off your penis and put your pants on,” yet here we are.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 6, 2020
2. There is no escape.
“Mommy? Are you in there??”
Can’t find your kids? Don’t worry; sit on the toilet. They’ll find you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 4, 2020
3. That is adorable!
When REALLY little kids curse, well, there’s nothing cuter!
Today, after stubbing my toe, I learned that 2ish is in the "repeater" phase of language development
"Mudd-er fok-er" never sounded so cute
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) January 8, 2020
4. You deserve a break.
And there’s nothing better than a psychotic break.
Listening to my kids argue makes me feel like I’m going to have a breakdown yet a little excited about a brief hospital stay.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 4, 2020
5. Delightful little monsters.
But they won’t be
me: *hiding under bed* are the monsters gone
wife: *sigh* yes the kids are asleep
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) January 3, 2020
6. The kid needs to know.
Yes… they can be ghosts. But only in the Summer.
Me: Stop stalling and take a nap.
4-year-old: But I really have to ask you something.
Me: What?
4: Can carrots be ghosts?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 8, 2020
7. What’s the point?
Another day, another diaper!
That thing where you sit in bed on your phone until 2am and plan out how you're gonna be the perfect mom in the morning just to wake up and be too fucking tired for any of it.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) January 4, 2020
8. Yes, you can.
I love this game.
7yo son: May I have some water?
Me: What are the magic words?
7yo son: I can get it myself.
Me: There you go.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 6, 2020
9. Living on the edge.
She’s a true original.
Just because I'm a mom doesnt mean I'm not spontaneous anymore. Will I get out of these pajama pants today? Maybe… maybe NOT. You just don't know.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) January 8, 2020
10. The never-ending game.
We all know this one.
https://twitter.com/dadthatwrites/status/1214340432609468417?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fasiawmclain%2Fparents-tweets
11. You haven’t been on it in years!
Just let it die kids. Or I’ll die.
Me: *finally taking down the old backyard playset that is warped and faded from the sun, splintered, and covered in spiderwebs and wasp nests*
My Pre-Tween Kids, playing games on their iPads: NOOOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE LOVE OUR PLAYSET MOM STOP!!
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 2, 2020
12. Why? Why? Why? Why?
Seriously though… why?
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Kid:
Me: [turns on favorite show]
Kid: DADDY I HAVE A QUESTION WHY IS BLUE A COLOR!? WHY DO I EXIST? WILL GRIZZLY BEARS EAT BANANAS?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 2, 2020
13. What am I doing with this?
Oh yes… kids are the best.
I was just quickly and aimlessly tidying up my house, about 5 minutes in I realized that I was carrying around a potato.
I don't know which room I picked the potato up in, I just know it was not the kitchen.
Kids are fun
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) January 2, 2020
14. Looking better every day.
Snip snip!
Eventually, every toddler makes a vasectomy look attractive.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) January 9, 2020
Brutal…yet honest and hilarious. What else could you ask for in a tweet?
What did you think of these parenting tweets? Do they ring true?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments, please!
