Like any group of people, some people who are really into their religion take things WAY too far.
I think that it’s a pretty small minority, but sometimes they seem to have the loudest voices, don’t they?
Have you ever heard any overly religious people say really ridiculous things?
These folks have.
Let’s check out these stories from AskReddit users.
1. So crazy.
“”If you pray hard enough God will fix your arm.”
My limb won’t just grow back, bud.
Doesn’t work like that.”
2. Pray away the gay.
“My Gran is extremely religious and believes whole heartedly that she can ‘pray away the gay.’
She told me of a story of a man who went to their church, came out as gay and the whole church prayed away the gay and now he’s married to a woman and had 2 kids.
“That God took my wife to be with him because I as an atheist didn’t deserve to be happy without god in my life.
I promptly told that *sshole to get f*cked in front of my 1 & 1/2 year old and my 5 year old kids.”
4. Two things.
“Two instances come to mind.
I overheard an older lady talking with some friends after church once. She said, “I’m so worried about my granddaughter. She moved in with her boyfriend. How could she? She was such a good girl.”
Now, granted, I don’t exactly know any context or anything to this, but the way she said it made it sound like her granddaughter, who sounds like a decent human being, simply moved in with her boyfriend. And that was just the worst thing. Because they weren’t married. I guess they all talked about me like that when I did it.
Second thing: I was told that it is my Christian duty to bear my Christian husband kids after I said I didn’t really want them. I was 16. He was the new youth pastor. And we were at a lake just to have fun.
No sermons, no anything. Just a little church get together for some fellowship. He’s the reason that a little part of my not wanting to have kids is out of spite.”
5. Didn’t really work out that way.
“That if I didn’t accept Jesus as my savior I wouldn’t make it past the year.
I don’t know what he meant by that exactly, but this was 16 years ago.”
6. A bit extreme.
“That their own son was autistic because he wasn’t baptized in time.
And that my own nephew had ADD because he also isn’t baptized, despite you known s family history showing they and my side of the family have ADD, dyslexia, Autism, and so on.”
7. No evolution.
“You don’t see half ape-human hybrids, hence humans didn’t evolve from apes.
Explained to me by a religious uncle when I was 12.
I thought about it, and figured out that apes and humans evolved from a common ancestor, and that this evolution of intelligence is probably something that takes a few generations.
Also, I noticed a squirrel looking both ways before crossing a road in NYC once.”
8. Save yourself!
“It’s the end times
“Was at a funeral around 1990.
My secretary’s healthy 18 year old daughter (only child) died in her sleep after being discharged that evening from the emergency room with the “flu”.
The pastor officiating at the funeral said that she would be reunited with her daughter in the flesh in her lifetime because the situation in the Middle East was proof that the “end times” were coming.”
10. How many times have you heard this?
“At the funeral of my second cousin, who died suddenly at, I believe age 38, leaving his wife widowed, and his 4-year old son without a father.
One person said to the widow, “God has a plan, there’s a reason your son came to you so late.” I’m thinking, “ what, so that he can be left fatherless at age 4?””
11. White Jesus.
“Talking with a coworker at lunch how I thought I was funny Jesus is always white with blue eyes. When being middle eastern he would have been likely been dark skinned.
She looked at me and said ” My Jesus isn’t black””
12. It’s Eve’s fault.
“My in-laws actually arguing about why childbirth hurts.
He was yelling at his wife saying it’s because Eve ate the apple.
It was the most cringe moment of my life. Wanted to bang their heads together.”
13. Here comes the Hellfire.
“When my grandfather was literally on his deathbed, at the age of 63, his mother (yes, still alive and well at 90-something) was holding his hand, telling him to “prepare himself for hellfire and damnation” because he was an Episcopalian and she was a Catholic.
My grandfather “changed camps” for his late wife so they could get married. It was literally the most evil and absurd thing I’ve heard a person say to their own blood.”
14. Call the exorcist.
“My sister in law had a priest come bless her daughter’s room when she found out she had read Harry Potter.”
15. Moving on…
“I was in my town during a pride event, it was great, I would’ve taken part but I didn’t realize it was happening.
You probably already know where this is going.
The lady and her husband were yelling at a gay couple saying how they were sinners, I walked over to them and said “listen lady, you’re wearing jeans and a cotton jumper. Mixed fabrics is just as bad as being gay according to the bible so just let them live.” Her response? “We don’t have to listen to that part because times have moved on since then.”
Wha- ha- lady? So you’re saying god is still angry about gay people but not at clothes? Don’t f*cking cherry pick what you believe, believe all of the Old Testament or none of it.”
Now we want to hear from you.
Have you ever heard a very religious person say something totally absurd?
If so, tell us about it in the comments!