It’s that time of year again…a brand new year and brand new promises to ourselves that we’re going to get in shape, figure out our finances, fall in love, and solve the world’s problems.
Although a lot of us have huge goals and ambitions at the beginning of the year, it doesn’t always work out like that, does it?
Oh well, there’s always 2021…
Let’s look at some funny tweets about New Year’s Resolutions.
1. You already blew it!
New Years resolution is to stop typing "lol" after every sentence lol
— bronze avery. (@bronzeavery) December 27, 2019
2. That’s impossible.
my new year’s resolution is to do a better job distinguishing between guys who are actually hot and guys who are just tall with a beard
— Sam Lansky (@samlansky) December 31, 2019
3. I think you can do it.
My New Years resolutions are to eat better, stop drinking so much, save more, and transcend the limitations of human flesh, becoming one with the hidden, unblinking eye that hovers over the earth.
— Greg Newkirk 🔦 (@nuekerk) December 31, 2019
4. Good for you!
My New Year’s resolution is to be less of an outright bitch and more of a secret bitch.
— Martha Kelly (@MarthaKelly3) December 31, 2018
5. Throwing in the towel.
New year new me
New year new m
New year new
New year ne
New year n
Never mind f
Never mind fo
Never mind forg
Never mind forge
Never mind forget
Never mind forget i
Never mind forget it
— JAMES 🏳️🌈 (@jamesxingleton) December 26, 2018
6. What did I do wrong?
my new year’s resolution is to have healthier thought patterns bc as of right now someone can text me “ok” instead of “ok!” & i’ll be in my head assuming they hate me and are praying for my untimely demise
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) December 28, 2018
7. Take some deep breaths.
My New Year’s resolution is to be more patient. I hope I accomplish this as fast as possible!
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) December 30, 2019
8. It’s called a “media break.”
my new years resolution is gonna be to not sit in my car for an extra 5min on my phone right after i park anywhere
— J. David Alvarez (@DavidAlvareeezy) December 28, 2019
9. Like asking a genie?
For my New Years resolution I’m gonna wish for more resolutions
— devin crawford (@savesome_for_me) December 28, 2019
10. You can do it!
My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.
— Dysfunction Jct (@mjs03093641) December 28, 2018
11. Is everybody cool with that?
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that's okay with you guys?
— Megan Kelly Dunn (@megankcomedy) December 31, 2015
12. That’s better!
My New Year's resolution is to give up alcohol. Oops, I meant: My New Year's resolution is to give up. Alcohol! #newyearsresolution
— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) January 4, 2016
13. That’s a good point…
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, because you can start a healthy habit and give up three days later ANY time of year.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) January 2, 2016
14. Ain’t gonna happen.
You call it New Year's resolution, I call it fiction.
— Nash Nashy (@NASHterpiece) December 30, 2019
15. I believe in you.
Already decided on a new years resolution which is to just Give Up.
Very motivated, starting early
— liv (@OliviaisAwkward) December 6, 2017
What are your resolutions for 2020? Do you think you’re gonna stick to them?
Haha… no, but seriously. Do you REALLY think you’ll stick with them?
Be honest… and tell us all about it in the comments!