Kids today, huh? They’re quicker and smarter than ever and even when they don’t mean to, they’re roasting adults mercilessly.
You don’t believe me?
Just take a look at these 15 times when kids roasted their elders and you’ll be singing a different tune…
1. I’m both of them.
And I find that to be inspiring and depressing.
Kid in my son’s class explained to me that she was sure he has two moms because he has “the pretty mom and the other mom.” She described each to me in some detail.
Reader, both are me.
— Aubrey Hirsch (@aubreyhirsch) February 9, 2020
2. A sick burn.
But kid… you’re not wrong.
My son told me when he was in 6th grade that his new best friend had two moms. He thought it was a fate worse than death. He said: “can you imagine having TWO moms?! He must not be allowed to do ANYthing!”
— Julia (Juju) Hook (@JujuHook) February 10, 2020
3. Now I get it…
You don’t have ANY idea what pretty is, kid… and that depresses me.
My niece used to hold my face in her little 3 year old hands and tell me I was pretty.
Then we watched Wizard Of Oz and the green witch came on and she jumped up in delight yelling PRETTY PRETTY
I never believed another word she’s said since
— Princess Damnit ?❄ (@Fes_Toy) February 10, 2020
4. That’s…me.
Have I changed that much? Good lord.
I will never forget the day my young son asked, while looking at our wedding photo “Mom, who is that pretty lady next to Dad?”
— Ulla Meredith (@UllaMeredith) February 10, 2020
5. Not quite, son.
But… you’re on the right track. Believe it can happen!
my husband is a light-skinned black man who wears jeans and whatnot to work. The first time my son (then 4, circa 2012) saw him in a suit, he said “are you President Obama, Daddy?!”
— Kendra Petrichor (@kikuandjuju) February 10, 2020
6. Dad used to be a girl.
Hahaha… that’s hilarious.
My husband had long hair when we married ( hair metal days) my son showed our wedding pic to a friend and “ this was when my dad was a girl “ ???said photo was hidden
— Samantha Cross (@samcross47) February 10, 2020
7. A new head?
No kid, I got a better head. There’s a difference.
My grandmother, 90 years old, had a beautiful photo of herself taken in 1940s when was 45 on her wall. Little Rosemary, 5 years old, asked her who it was. Grandmother said, “That’s me!” Rosemary studied it for a while then said, “Oh, I understand! You got a new head.”
— Desha (@Desha7) February 10, 2020
8. Thank you so much.
My chins love you back… you little s**t.
My daughter looked at me adoringly and said, “Mama, I love you and your chins.”
— Lara Ehrlich (@EhrlichLara) February 10, 2020
9. What happened?!?!
I guess I can’t go anywhere now?!
I’m a teacher and didn’t put on eye makeup last week for the first time ever. I had students legit NOT RECOGNIZE ME, despite my blaze of red curly hair. One kid: “But what happened to your FACE?!” “I didn’t wear mascara kid. But thanks.”
— Andee, living the dream, as usual (@andeesings) February 10, 2020
10. Not what I was going for.
But that’s a good warning sign!
My four-year-old once leaned into my upper arm and sighed, “Aaaah. I love squishy things.”
— Doritos for Dinner (@doritos4dinner) February 10, 2020
11. Who are you?
Am I THAT unrecognizable?
I left early one morning, before my 4yo woke, to go on a job interview. On my way home I stopped to pick up groceries. Door was locked, my hands were full so I rang the doorbell. My 4yo peeks out the window and yells “Dad there’s some lady at the door and she has lipstick on.” ?
— ?Julianna?✍#HMPB (@elphaba_wins) February 10, 2020
12. Just like a clown.
But hey… at least it’s a beautiful clown!
My sister got a full face of makeup done for an event and my nephew said she looked beautiful like a clown
— Rhetorical Geisterfahrer (@solaana) February 10, 2020
13. Let yourself go.
Or let yourself live? Think about it…
Son, looking at some photos of me from 25 years ago: “Wow mom WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”
— Hot Flash Houlihan ? (@kueblerwolf) February 10, 2020
14. Not the same person.
Hey kid… shut it!
The day after my wedding, my niece (4) refused to believe I was the same person who married her uncle the night before. “MY aunt Betsy is beautiful!”
— Betsy Berman (@Betsyberman) February 10, 2020
15. That is harsh.
But… you could be right. Still, f**k off.
My 5 year old son looked across the table at me and asked about his recently dead grandma. “So grandmas dead?” I looked over my paper “yeah buddy”. He asked “why?” Well she was older and it was just her time I said. He looked at me coldly “you’re prolly next” ?
— Tom Roberts (@twrobertsII) February 10, 2020
Yikes…it’s never fun to be on the receiving end of a brutal roast from a young kid.
Has this happened to you before?
If so, tell us about it in the comments. We promise not to judge you…
