There are jokes, and then there are jokes that throw you for a loop with a major plot twist.
And that’s the sign of a stellar joke. Keep ’em guessing, right?
That’s exactly what these gems do.
1. Why do you ask?
[grocery produce aisle]
ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?
CLERK: No, why do you ask?
CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
— Todd 'Spooki' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) March 19, 2016
2. Wait a second…
I can't believe people don't eat the crust like wtf it's part of the food, it's fantastic even if it doesn't taste the same as the rest of the watermelon
— Slimecicle (@Slimecicle) June 28, 2019
3. Wouldn’t want to disappoint her.
Is it "fleek" or "on fleek"? I want grandmas eulogy to be just right.
— Nobody important (@MikeCanRant) March 30, 2015
4. I think I’m gonna be sick.
me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier
sperm bank employee: what glass of milk
me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk
sperm bank employee: oh my god
sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk
— Kellen (@captainkalvis) January 12, 2018
5. You’re not having a good time?
ME: isn't this great??
WIFE: not really
ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong
— seasonal Goth (@hippieswordfish) November 3, 2015
6. Dad jokes are universal.
[gun goes off]
[every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race]
ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway
— ? joeg, a ziploc bag of pennies (@gojarbe) September 5, 2015
7. Might want to have that checked out.
My son was SO cute today, he asked me “dad are clouds candy?” ? I told him they were water. ? Then he asked “Dad, what’s the Earth’s defense system?” and then I remembered I don’t have a son and he asked again with his eyes obsidian black “what is the defense system father”
— IP IP IP IP IP IP IP IP IP IP IP! (@AintNoDylanBih) July 19, 2018
8. They’ll get over it
I was raised as an only child. My siblings took it pretty hard
— ??Frank Whitehouse ?? (@WheelTod) April 16, 2016
9. Nice tone, as well.
*cop pulls me over*
COP: please blow into this, sir
ME: *plays trumpet perfectly*
COP: okay you're definitely sober and way cool
— ? bones morguensen ? (@SconesMortensen) July 16, 2015
10. I’m innocent, sir.
Yes, judge I do have something to say. If you truly are what you eat then I am an innocent man. Thank you.
— Truckstop Vigilante (@BRENTHOR) December 18, 2014
11. Who’s to blame here?
accountant: "youre basically broke"
wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff"
me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"
— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) October 27, 2015
12. There was a game?
Me: the eagles won last night
Co worker: oh did you watch the game
Me: *covered in blood and scratches* what game
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) February 5, 2018
13. Like a clown car.
TEACHER: please take off your hat in class
*I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat*
ME: I can do this 14 more times
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) January 7, 2015
14. I’m sure she loved that.
*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset*
*Gets down on one knee*
Help my knee is made of magnets
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) January 10, 2014
15. Yeah, just keep walking.
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) April 20, 2018
I didn’t see that coming! Did you?!?!
Share some of your best twisty and turn-y jokes in the comments and we’ll see how they measure up.