I’m not telling you something you don’t already know, but a lot of men out there aren’t exactly good at talking about their emotions.
Well, we’re gonna change that right now, even if it is anonymously.
Men on AskReddit were nice enough to open up about their emotions. Let’s take a look.
1. Don’t care.
“I honestly can’t. That’s basically the problem.
I just don’t care.
And it’s really hard to express that.”
2. In a tough spot.
“I’m tired of pretending everything is going well.
I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better, but nothing is going right.
I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay.
I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that’s not possible.”
3. Need some contact.
“I actually sat and thought about it yesterday and I haven’t had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years.”
4. Good luck to you.
“I’ll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic.
Wish me luck!”
5. You have to face it.
“I don’t want to accept the fact that I’m depressed because if I do then it’ll be harder for me to overcome it.”
6. Shut down.
“Every time I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust.
So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.”
7. Family problems.
“I’m the oldest of 4 brothers. My younger brothers are far more successful than me.
When we were growing up, I always felt like my parents never gave a sh*t about me as soon as my brothers showed up. All through life, I had to listen to my parents comparing me, the oldest, to my younger brothers. It was always humiliating. I struggled with learning in school and my parents jus thought I was stupid or lazy.
They never really put in the time or effort to work with me or to understand my struggles, and I was just a kid so I didn’t know how to express myself. They didn’t understand that I was bullied throughout most of my academic life and that it caused me to suffer from social anxiety disorder.
As a kid, I always saw my parents providing opportunities for my brothers that they never did for me. Even things like taking my brothers to the dentist to get braces so their teeth are nice, or helping them get into good universities, or allowing them to gain some work experience in the family business. My one brother, the youngest, is now the owner of the successful family business, but I wasn’t even invited to work there to help out the family keep it running.
Instead, I aimlessly drifted from one crappy retail job to another for many years, never really earning anything, always living in debt, and barely making ends meet. I never could afford nice cars or clothes or vacations that may parents and my siblings could, because I had to work hard to survive, because no one gave me any kind of support. Now that I’m an adult, I’m married, and have kids of my own.
I live far away from my family, but I’m still jealous of people who have family members that they can get advice from, or who they can talk to about their problems. I don’t have anyone on my side of the family for any of that. My parents basically don’t give a crap about me. They send me some facebook messages from time to time or make a like or a comment on one of my posts, but it’s always surface level small talk.
This is something that my wife and I discuss quite often because she’s noticed too that my family are very distant from me. She doesn’t understand why I don’t have a family that supports me, and I’m not even talking about financially supporting me. I don’t want or need that, but it’d be nice to be able to talk to mom and just get advice about something, instead of feeling like I’m the only one in the world.
It’s pretty bad because where I live, I have ZERO family members around me. The only family I do have are my wife’s family who have been very supportive. Her brothers are like my best friends, and I see and talk to her parents all the time but sometimes I feel like they only keep me around because of her. At the end of the day, I’m not one of them, you know?
Anyway, I just kind of wish I had one of those tv-family relationships with my parents. Where dad will show up and be like, “Hey son, what say we go out back and play catch and have a talk?” but I’ve accepted that that’s not me and never will be. I’ve managed to keep myself in check by writing in a journal for many years.
All things considered, I’m doing OK but just know that alot of guys do have their problems even if they don’t talk about them. We bleed and show pain just like everyone else does.”
8. We all need this.
“I really want a hug.
I haven’t been hugged in so long.
It would be nice, I think.”
9. It’s difficult.
“I don’t know how I feel half the time. I find other people’s emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathize with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.
I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It’s so hindering; I feel so f*cking stupid after it and just start cringing.
I don’t know if I’m stupid or intelligent – I’m definitely lazy, I know that much.
I don’t feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it’s not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not s*x) and those interactions are few and far between.
I’m not scared of dying, but I’m scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don’t know what I want my point to be.”
10. Emotional affair.
“My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her.
I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time.
My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I’m too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don’t know how I can continue on.
She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been.
I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.”
11. Keep your distance.
“I distance myself from everyone in my life emotionally because the feeling of being vulnerable and truly opening up to people scares the sh*t out of me.
It always seems to come back to bite me in the *ss when I leak a little bit too much information because I just want to be alone and forget about everything.
I wish I could live alone and have very little interactions with everyone, it’s always so draining to be around people day in day out with little alone time.”
“Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by.
I would never hear from the others again if I didn’t message or call them first.
This isn’t as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.”
“I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I’m terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day.
I don’t like to talk about myself because I feel like I’m not interesting or people don’t care about what I have to say about my life.
Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with.”
14. Tough times.
“I don’t want to exist anymore, honestly.
I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I don’t disappoint anyone anymore.
I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.
Sorry just going through some sh*t right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.”
15. We all need that sometimes.
“Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we’re doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.”
16. That’s sad.
“I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today.
They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far).
I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely.”
17. Bottled up.
“I’m afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I’m ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to, it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off.”
“My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating.
I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?”
I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror.”
19. Eating disorder.
“My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I’m extremely lonely and isolated. I’ve lost friends just by being “independent and confident” and not texting and call first so now I’m nearly alone.
I’m petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I’m so stressed that I can’t get a good pathway started. I’m terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body.
Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I’m on reddit so yeah. I’m so depressed and anxious I don’t know why.”
“I am still broken on the inside. That my “soul” is like f*cking coventry after the Germans raided it during the second world war.
That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me.
That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me. That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions. That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time.
That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago. That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past.”
21. A hard situation.
“So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast.
My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated.
I just finished high school in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels.
I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way.
My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is probably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore.
I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.”
22. Into the void.
“I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages.
I hate feeling and thinking.
This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world.
I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.”
“I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in.
So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don’t want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren’t bad, I know they just want the best for me, it’s just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them.
To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things.
Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don’t know how to say it or even if they would understand it.
Lastly, I feel like there’s no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don’t know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose.
I’m not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don’t know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don’t know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don’t know what to do.”
“I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas.
After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with.
The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can’t do it, I don’t like texting or video calling, and they rarely work.
She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly.
I’m sad, trying not to fall in love. I’ve always felt that I wouldn’t find anyone for me, and now that I have I can’t be with her.”
25. About to crack.
“My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes.
But I am weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted – because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate.
But I can’t show it. She ‘loses faith in me’ if I don’t keep a stiff upper lip and just ‘handle it like a man’. She supports in lots of practical ways – shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare – but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with.
She won’t let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.
So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends – I couldn’t really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind – but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.
It is affecting our marriage – because it doesn’t feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can’t be my friend because friends don’t have to rely on each other financially. It’s like being married to a housekeeper / secretary.
We have s*x from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance – that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant ‘real man’; anything less she says is ‘disgusting’. She doesn’t even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it’s ‘pathetic’ and ‘real men don’t cuddle, they f*ck and leave’.
I’m deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers.
One day I swear I’m going to crack. The only reason I don’t is because we have a kid.”
Now we want to hear from you.
What’s on YOUR mind that you’d like to get off your chest?
Talk to us in the comments!