I tend to keep things that bother me bottled up inside…sometimes even for years.
I realize it’s not a good thing and I’m working on it, but for some reason, I just tend to let things eat away at me for months or even years before I finally talk about it with another person.
And we’re all like that on some level. But some of us are better at letting our feelings know than others…
AskReddit users opened up about what’s been eating them up inside.
1. Haven’t told a soul.
“A friend and I have been making this graphic novel for about half a year now. To be honest, I cannot say why we’ve been doing it, but it’s important to her and she really seems to be enjoying it.
Lately, due to Covid, we haven’t been able to see each other at all but she’s still working on the project. I feel like a horrible friend for saying this, but I really want to pull out. I haven’t had an active role in this project in a while, and I have told her a few times that I’ll stop procrastinating and start helping her again, but I just can’t find the energy to.
I have a lot of chaos in my own life right now, but I do have a lot of time to help, but I just can’t find the want to do it. I feel really guilty and like I am letting her down, but I just don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve always been a people-pleaser, so that might be why I feel so guilty but I just don’t know what to do.
Am I overreacting? Am I just being cowardly for not speaking my mind? Or am I really a terrible friend? I’m probably being overdramatic, but this has been very heavy on my chest for a long time, and I haven’t told a soul.”
2. Alcohol problems.
“My dad is an Alcoholic, and I am afraid I am turning into one.
I drink alone, and anytime I feel like it. I’m disgusted afterwards, but dont seem to stop.
My memory and sleep and my self worth are really affected. But i cant bring myself to ask for help.”
3. No joy in life.
“I feel like my life is on pause now and forevermore.
I used to find joy in things such as seeing friends and drawing but now I feel like I don’t want to do anything, don’t feel motivated to do anything, don’t like doing anything. I dunno.
I’m a different person now. All I do is think about my life and climate change and death and everything wrong in this world. I just can’t.”
“I’m 17 years old. I am about to be 18.
I have no job, no license, and no real world experience because my parents won’t let me.
I’m worried about how I will fare in the adult world due to my lack of experience.”
“My ADHD…It’s been driving me mad lately.
Basically, instead of one “train of thought”, I have LOTS of trains that aren’t ever stopping at a station and they keep looping and twisting and interrupting each other, so now my train of thought is a giant knot of NONSENSE!
And it’s been a lot worse recently…I can’t do school very well. My relationship with my family is rocky. Idk what to do.”
6. Might be a problem.
“I have a screen addiction.
Yes, this is ironic. I have spent probably about 2,000 hours on Youtube (rough guess) and I have no idea how to stop.
I feel like a waste and a failure. I wish that I could just stop.”
“My parent’s divorce.
The house is different, a lot of things I held sentimental are gone, my mom’s rules have gotten stricter since he’s left. I look at spaces where his things were and it makes me sad. I get sad at random, sometimes for no apparent reason. And I have 2 projects to do.
And to make it worse, my own friends sometimes doubt my s*xuality and ask very probing questions and it makes me uncomfortable because if i don’t answer they say im not who i am, they say its a phase, etc.”
8. Am I an easy target?
“I don’t know how people can lie to your face even when presented with proof and then be rude to you. How do they sleep at night?
On the other hand, I can’t sleep, I can’t work, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything if I feel I have been unjust to someone or if I have hurt someone. I can’t break anyone’s trust, just the very possibility of me being in a position to cause someone to face a loss even if it’s $3.00 makes me panic.
Recently someone was very rude to me and tried to put the blame on me, I can’t be rude back and sometimes I feel like I’m just an easy target…”
9. A struggle.
“I’m struggling to label my s*xuality. For years I’ve been sure I’m bi and I’ve had experiences with guys and girls that seemed to back this up.
However, recently, I’ve come to realize that I just don’t like getting physical. With anyone. I feel absolutely nothing even when I’m with people I have very strong feelings for.
Maybe I’m too inexperienced or maybe I haven’t found the right person. But its always a little worry in the back of my mind.”
10. Being accused.
“My mother and brother accusing me of being a drug addict.
4 years ago, and I’m still bitter. I didn’t go to the ER seeking drugs. I went because I was in pain from the 10 centimeter tumor inside my uterus. I guess they realized their mistake after the surgeons spent 8 hours cutting it out of me, but I never got an apology.
Never even admitted they were wrong. Sometimes I hate my family.”
“I have severe depression and PTSD but nobody knows how unhappy I am because I have abusive parents and no close friends.
And seeing how much better everyone else’s life around me are, it just is eating me up.”
12. Gender questions.
“Questioning my gender.
My biology is female but I’ve always felt that I kinda hovered between male and female. I don’t think I’m genderfluid.
I might be non-binary, I’m just stressed out by it and it doesn’t help that my mom says that anything besides male and female are fake and made up.”
13. I’m a mess.
I try to fall asleep, but I can’t sleep. Sleep deprivation is now just my routine. Even when I do manage to fall asleep for a few glorious moments, I awake throughout the night.
Well, that and the fact that I’m very judgmental of myself and I just need my head to shut up for five minutes, so I can hear myself think, really THINK. And when I talk, it feels like no one ever listens.
I want to change but I can’t, really can’t. I feel like I’m just running from everything, all my problems, and I run because I know I cannot hide.
It’s keeping me up, everyone telling me that I should give up. Long story short, I’m a mess.”
14. Tough times.
“I lost my brother to heart disease in May. 2 of my sisters have been diagnosed with cancer this year.
Our other sister has had serious, life threatening health issues for years. So far, I’m the only one who has stayed healthy.
All this worries me because I know it is hard on our 83 year old mother.”
15. Words hurt.
“My friends and I tease each other a lot but lately some of the things we say actually ends up hurting me.
I don’t want to tell them because that’s how we have fun. Who am I to take away from that?”
“I’m 17 and a senior in high school and for the last 5 years I have been struggling with my s*xuality.
It’s a very confusing thing to think about. I am a girl who likes girls and I’ve just recently came to terms about it. But I can’t be who I am, or who I want the be because my parents are so small minded.
I am a Christian who loves God but I also love girls and I don’t think god would condemn me for it. I feel like I’m alone in this journey and I need help.”
17. Toxic relationship.
“My partner and I have been together almost 4 years. We have a condo (rental), a cat, furniture, a life together.
I love him. But this relationship has become so miserable, and so toxic… There’s nothing I can do to make him happy except to leave him alone. I’m basically not “allowed” to get emotional about the state of our relationship or he explodes and storms off. We have had the breakup conversation so many times it seems cliché.
And now it seems like things are finally at the end. He’s got a wealthy family, and if we part ways and move out, he has no worries about what will happen to his life. In fact, he’s convinced it will get better. I on the other hand send money to my mom, have ruined my credit trying to keep this household afloat (with zero recognition for it), and couldn’t get a lease again if my life depended on it.
If the relationship fails, I am next to homeless. I even dropped out of grad school 3 years ago and started working in restaurants to support us when he was unemployed. He’s talked so much sh*t to our mutual friends about me I feel like I don’t even have any anymore.
It feels like my whole life is just falling apart, one step at a time.”
18. Time to have a talk.
“I don’t know how to tell my mom what I want.
I just feel like if I do I will burst out crying and she’ll think something is wrong with me. And I’m scared of what she will think.
I know she already disapproves of me trying to become an actor and well asking for her help I don’t know how she will react. I just want to be a good daughter while having my dream job.”
“I don’t know how to tell my husband how bad things really are with my depression.
I have been showering once a week. I brush my teeth probably twice a week and gargle mouthwash twice a week, I spend most of my days in bed and a tired ALL THE TIME.
I am (trying to) nap more, I just want days to be over so I can just sleep but then I struggle to sleep coz of my RLS and insomnia and I can’t stop thinking out how much I want to change and get p*ssed at myself for wasting another day but then I do the same thing the next day.
I am finding it harder to find joy in the things I usually love and one of them is music. I am not dancing to music as much as I used to, I seem to tune it out more. I am in chronic pain every d*mn day, partly because of a deformity and partly because of my weight. My weight causes more pain on my hips, my knees and my feet. I have plantar fasciitis and heel spurs, I have just recently recovered from a cuboid displacement.
All these issues effect my mobility coz of the absolute pain. I want to lose weight but I have been diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive eating disorder. All I think about is food even though I feel nauseous from the idea of eating or from overeating. I will be eating my lunch and all I can think of is my next meal.
I feel absolutely DISGUSTED in myself and beat myself up pretty much every night. But for some stupid reason my brain doesn’t think about ANY iota of that the next day and I just carry on like every other day. I have done therapy for f*cking years, I have done cognitive behavioral therapy, a few different antidepressants, meditation, hypnotherapy, many diets, shakes, positive affirmations, looked into religion (hey I am desperate), and I am pretty sure there are other things but I just can’t think of them right now.
My next step is a vision board and last week my mum, my brothers and myself have started a weight loss challenge. I’m not doing that well, I have replaced a lot of bad foods with good foods but I am still snacking a lot.
Next week my brother and I are signing up for the gym coz we don’t want to go by ourselves. Anyway sorry to just stop here, I don’t know what else to say.”
20. I can’t…
“Having to cancel anything most of the time (friend meetings, family gatherings, fun, trips, projects at work, life basically) due to flare ups of chronic illness.
It pains me to say “I can’t” tens of times in a row to friends and family. I’m afraid of what awaits for me in the future in terms of my illness.”
21. Had a friend.
“I had a friend once. Let’s call him Bob.
I need this story to have some humor. Me and Bob were inseparable. We were literally best friends. But when we went to middle school, he kept trying to go to the popular kids. The kids who were admired at school. He tried to wear the same clothes as them, fell into the same amines, played the same games, read the same books, and watched the same movies.
But they saw him as a nerd. I stayed with what I liked. Harry Potter, Minecraft, and Marvel. He kept getting rejected. I tried to convince him to stop but he hated me by then. Thought he became a nerd by being with me. I left. Distanced myself from him. Didn’t talk to him. I had other friends. He got depressed. He got hooked on vape, thought it would make the other kids think he was bad*ss. It didn’t.
His grades got sloppy. He got pressured. And one day, he was dead. Jumped off the highest thing he could find, with a rope around his neck. It just keeps bothering me, could I have helped him if I had been there? Could I have saved him?”
“That when a person very close to me died, I could not attend the funeral due to the Covid-19 lockdown.
The guilt of not being able to go does not help with my severe clinical depression”
23. Dirty minded.
“I am 11, and I’m not sure why, but ever since a few years ago, I’ve been extremely dirty minded.
I imagine all sorts of really nasty things, and sometimes I look inappropriate things up. I have been trying so hard to stop and clear my mind of this filth, but I’m struggling.
It’s been devouring me for years now.”
24. Losing my religion.
“This is hard for me to say. My parents are very devotional Hindus. I grew up believing it. I mean, it’s the only religion-like concept that I’ve been introduced to.
But recently, I’ve been having doubts. They’re always at the back of my mind. I read the Mahabharata, (it’s like a bible, but in Hinduism) I read the whole entire thing, and the first thing I thought was that I believed none of it.
The sad thing is that I learn devotional dance too, and I always feel so guilty doing it, knowing that I don’t believe in the stories that I’m representing with my dancing. I don’t want to tell my parents.
Truthfully, my mom and I don’t have the best relationship and religion is something that we connected to. Without it, what would happen? I’m scared, and it feels horrible to have to pretend to believe something you don’t. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I’m feeling really, really sad.
Not a lot enthuses me at the moment and I have a lovely boyfriend, nice house and a new kitten.
I feel guilty for feeling sad and find it difficult to explain to people why, let alone understand it myself.”
Do you have anything that’s been eating you up inside that you want to get off your chest?
If so, please share it with us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!