I like scrolling around on social media just as much as the next person, but we all know that some people out there use it to toot their own horn way too much.
Okay, we get it, you made a nice dinner for you and your wife…congratulations!
But some people prefer to keep it humble and on the down low…until now!
People on AskReddit talked about the biggest flexes that will be their secrets forever.
1. Good for you!
“I raised $100,000 for a scholarship fund in the memory of my deceased twin brother.
Since that time we’ve given away over 200 scholarships”
2. Nice work!
“I was out on a date with a hot girl. After dinner her car wouldn’t start. “Pop the hood”, I said.
I saw an engine….I’m pretty sure, not a clue what ever else I was looking at. she looked at me and i punched the battery with the side of my hand and told her to try again. Car started! I felt like Fonzie, got so laid.”
3. Teacher’s pet.
“Had a class where the professor was pissed that everyone did really bad on an essay and was yelling at the class.
He said that aside from one person who got a 97 percent he was disappointed with everyone there. I had the 97 percent.”
4. He approved.
“I saw Elton John in Vegas. Red Piano Tour.
During Benny and the Jets (I can whistle extremely loudly), I nailed the whistle part that is on live version of the song that plays on the radio.
5. The gate keeper.
“I lived with my grandparents my whole life who lived in a small little house across the street from a big fancy neighborhood development. They lived in the same house for 40 years before the development.
It was a very bad hill on a busy road with the neighborhood entrance at the bottom of the hill which was across the street from our house. Me and my grandpa would pull people out of wrecks all the time. Saved a bunch of lives but sadly saw over 10 people die on that hill growing up.
The big fancy people in that neighborhood would always bring us food and gifts, they called my grandpa the gate keeper.”
6. You have a gift.
“I saw a lizard in the middle of a busy road.
I bent down on the side of the road and called for it as I put my hands out and he ran straight into my arms. I carried him to safety and didn’t think anything of it until I heard a stranger behind me go, “Did y’all see that sh*t?? She’s a lizard whisperer!”
Man I wish there was another witness because I bet I looked cool.”
7. Let them take the credit.
“When I was in high school we did a “toy drive” with our homeroom classes around the holidays where each class was assigned a family in need to donate money to or buy toys for. By the last day almost none of the toys had been bought from the kid’s lists, we’d just collected a modest chunk of money for the family.
I went home and told my mom that I didn’t need anything but I would like to get some of those things the kid’s asked for. My mom and dad talked, they’d both grown up poor and knew the money we’d collected would probably be used on necessities, not toys. So my mom and I went out and came back home with about $300 worth of toys the kids had asked for.
I brought them in early before school started and submitted them and the receipts for them to my homeroom teacher. Later on one of my classmates, who I had great disdain for ever since the third grade when he blatantly stole my new pencil, came in and announced he was making the biggest contribution of our class with a $40 donation.
The teacher made eye contact with me but I remained neutral and shrugged, so the teacher didn’t correct him, just smiled and said thank you to him. I figure he needed that affirmation more than me and I never liked being center of attention anyway.”
“Once I was in the passenger seat of my car while my wife was driving down the freeway.
A truck driver and me locked eyes and started communicating using hand signals (waving and such) he was drinking a up and go and gestured in a way that was asking me if I wanted one. I obviously said yes and we both rolled our windows down, he threw it to me and I actually caught it!
We both laughed and I have never enjoyed a drink more in my life. It was a had to be there moment that I remember fondly but no point telling anyone really.”
9. Man of mystery.
“I was quoted on some literary website one time for something I said off the cuff in an argument.
I also got to play a few shows with some of my favorite bands of all time, but I’m so far removed from that music scene now that no one I know would ever care about it except for me.”
10. Dancing Queen.
“When I was 15, I won a scholarship to study ballet in Russia.
It was totally amazing.”
11. You’re a genius.
“I got accepted into Mensa and then immediately realized I don’t want to hang out with the type of people who join Mensa so I didn’t go through with it.
I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone I took the test”
12. Don’t bother correcting him.
“I bought some then relatively worthless Apple stock because I thought I’d be able to eBay the stock certificate with the rainbow Apple logo when the company went out of business.
My investment guy just thinks I’m really clever. I’ve not corrected him.”
13. A good deed.
“I was in the grocery store and saw an older woman standing in the aisle comparing what was in her cart to what was in her wallet, obviously counting to see if she could afford everything. Based on her body language as she walked away I could tell that the answer was no.
So I took a 20 out and walked up to her and said, “M’am, when you were over there just a second ago this fell out of your wallet.” I handed her the bill, and just walked away so she wouldn’t be embarrassed if she figured out I was lying. I did hear her say thank you, so I half turned and told her “you’re welcome, have a nice night.”
It was only $20, but I think it made a difference to her, and that felt amazing.”
14. Hot wife.
“I secretly enjoy everyone’s shock when they first meet my wife.
I’m not insanely attractive. I’m a nerdy scientist. My wife is a doctor. She’s funny, driven, she’s smarter than me, she’s 5’9” and could very well be a model, in fact she’s been approached numerous times to move to NYC.
We’ve known each other since second grade, started dating in college. My high school/college friends are still baffled that I “casually married the most attractive girl we knew in high school/college”
Because we both have insanely busy schedules, We can go months or years without meeting each other’s’ coworkers. My favorite reaction from mine is “that’s your WIFE?!””
15. Like a ninja.
“When my girlfriend and I worked at the same bar, I threw a coaster at her like a frisbee. It arced over her and like twenty customers only to land perfectly on the neat stack of other coasters like 50 feet away.
It was so f*cking cool but nobody noticed except one customer who I later had to kick out for taking a nap on the bar. No point in telling anybody, but I look back fondly on that moment.”
16. Money for days.
“I have a TON of money.
I’ve always worked “whatever” jobs: restaurant server, retail, etc. boring kinda wage slave stuff. My living expenses are low, studio apartment and just pretty minimal spending. I live a comfortable life just as anyone would with my paychecks. But I got into investing and crypto currency online about 8 years ago and just got lucky. Spread out among multiple investments I’m at almost $8 mil.
Literally just kinda threw some extra money at stuff in the first couple years and was able to make really good returns. I live the same life I always did, almost doesn’t feel like I earned this money at all. No one knows, parents, family, friends. I don’t want anyone I care about to change their perspective of me because I have this money.
Still working a simple job and living in the same studio. I’m comfortable and happy outside of the money.”
17. A whole new person.
“I beat morbid obesity…which spiraled into a violent battle with anorexia, which I also beat…I eventually went on to get into modeling, weight lifting, and more.
Compare pictures of me now, with pictures of me from 5 years ago, with pictures of me from 10 years ago, and they all look like completely different people.”
18. A hard worker.
“I live in poverty. I don’t even have a car.
The retail job I work I bike to several times under several dangerous weather conditions, and on a narrow path alongside a busy road.. also 3rd shift, so black at pitch out. A strong wind storm going against you is the worst, BTW, I’ll take rain and snow over that any day.
I’m also the main worker in two of the most labor intensive departments which involves lifting all your heavy furniture items. And storage.
So often I arrive at work after battling storms and harsh conditions, exhausted. I just turned 37. But I show up more often than my coworkers who enjoy the luxury of a car. In fact, I have a near perfect attendance record.
I don’t think people know how far away I live, literally up in the mountain outside city limits. And my boss, who has never worked with me, gave me the worst performance review last year.. because he asked why things aren’t getting done and I told him I have to stock, back stock, pull from backroom, run cardboard, audit inventory and work price changes.
In 2 departments. Essentially, payroll was pushing labor, cutting hours, and I needed help or resources he couldn’t provide me with. So that was my fault.
I work so d*mn hard.”
19. You’re a hero.
“I pulled over when I saw a house on fire one morning.
Ran over and a woman was crying that her child was inside. I ran into the smoke and fire, down a hallway, followed the crying. Found the child and carried her outside to her mom.
I waited with them until the FD arrived, then left. Was late for work and got yelled at. Didn’t say anything to anyone.”
20. Helping people out.
“I anonymously send care packages from Amazon and drop off boxes of food and necessities to my hourly restaurant employees who are struggling.
I could get in huge trouble for using their personal information in this way, so I’ve never told anyone else, even my own family. I am limited by corporate or owners regarding their pay rates and hours, but I expect I’ve invested well over $3k in this work in the last five years.”
21. That is cool.
“I met Nick Offerman at a book signing and he told me “I’m jealous of your whiskers.””
22. I’m flattered…
“In 2004, an ex NFL cheerleader that I worked with propositioned me for s*x.
Like “hey, we should leave this bar and go have s*x.”
I couldn’t do it because I was secretly sleeping with another coworker who was at the bar with us.”
“I saved a guys life at a TGI Friday’s while having dinner with my wife.
He was choking on his food and no one else got up to help, so I went over and gave him the Heimlich.
Never experienced an adrenaline rush like that.”
24. Like a king.
“No one will see this, but you guys I’m so good at building forts out in the woods. I love to hike, find a secluded spot, and build myself a campsite.
I’ll make a fort for myself, build a little campfire, cook some ramen, and live for a couple of hours like the king of the forest.”
25. You did the right thing.
“Once while riding my bike to work, I stopped to report a house on fire. The 911 operated asked if anyone was inside, so I nervously approached the front door and heard a “bump”.
I opened the front door and saw an elderly lady collapsed in the hallway. I literally pulled and old lady out of a burning building. I waited with the lady til the fire Dept arrived, then got back on my bike and went to work.”
Now it’s your turn.
In the comments, tell us about the biggest flex that you’ve never told anyone.
We can’t wait to hear your stories!