Once in a while, you find someone you think is really great. And then they show that aspect of themselves that blows that idea right out of the water.

In this Reddit thread, that’s specifically posed as a statement about being attracted to someone, but it applies to people in all areas of our lives, as the responses demonstrate.

What is one trait that could turns someone from a 10 to a 5?
byu/PARADlSE inAskReddit

So, how do you avoid being the worst? Stay away from these traits.

1. Being overly controlling

You would h**e my mother.

My paternal grandfather d**d last week and she tried to organize the entire funeral even though she was merely a bystander.

You can imagine how that went.

– ZippyVonBoom

2. Chewing with their mouth open

On one of my first dates with my now husband, back in 2001, he said “could you please chew with your mouth closed?”

I was mortified. And kinda angry that my parents never really taught me better (I was 19). You can bet I have chewed with my mouth closed every day since then.

Now neither of us can really stand to eat with my mother though …

– atxtopdx

3. Outrageous religious beliefs

Not like believing prayer works or going to church on Sunday, but something outrageous.

Like believing QR codes are Satanic images and that every time someone uses one, The Devil takes a piece of their soul.

– KazumaWillKiryu

4. Poor communication


Me: *adding a few drops of miracle grow to plants*

Partner: Hey the plants were already watered

Me: i know, I’m just giving them some nutrients with miracle grow.

Partner: Stop watering them, I already did that.

Me: it’s miracle grow, not water

Partner: But I already watered them.

Me: It’s not water

Partner: Dude, I said stop watering them!

Me: *internal screaming*

– Cat_hoodie

5. Harassing

Someone who thinks harassing other people is funny or someone who is a huge d**k to retail and fast food workers.

Takes you below a 0 in my opinion

– dumpsterfire1998

6. Gross bathrooms

Yeah when I was single if I was talking to a guy and went to their house, if they didn’t have a clean bathroom it was pretty much over.

I can understand being a little messy and not cleaning up for yourself – but if you’re not going to clean your apartment up for a guest coming over who’s a girl that might f**k you then that’s a real problem. That just tells me that you don’t give a s**t about anything or anyone.

– littleprettypaws

7. Flaw pointing

When you have just met, and they start pointing out your flaws/negatives according to them.

They don’t like the hair, or the dress/make-up or make fun of what we do.

– beautiful_salad101

8. Social media obsession

I dated this girl who once literally sulked our entire night out because her phone d**d and she wouldn’t be able to post pics to her story all night.

She moped and moped until I finally gave up and asked if she wanted to leave.

We couldn’t do ANYTHING without her documenting every moment. Even just laying around watching a movie had to be an Instagram post. Make a new purchase? Instagram post. Scramble some eggs? Instagram post. Someone honked at her at a red light? F**king Instagram post. It was exhausting.

I could understand maybe wanting to capture memories, or even if she was getting an income from her posts. But her sole purpose was to make sure other people knew what she was doing and how “amazing” her life was, and give her constant validation.

She would even post things that she wasn’t even doing. For example, I was cooking dinner one day and she took a pic of all the ingredients laid out with the caption “Starving! what could I make with this?” Even though she had absolutely no intention of helping whatsoever. After the food was done, she of course took a pic with the caption “figured it out ?‍?”

We had a huge argument over this once and she denied every bit of it. I challenged her not to post to her story during our trip to San Juan and she had a full-blown f**king conniption. Like literally screaming and crying. Calling me unsupportive, jealous, judgmental, negative, and threatened to break up with me.

That girl was not right in the head. In hindsight, I can see she clearly had severe self esteem issues, and social media validation was her coping mechanism.

– dyam

9. Hating kids/pets

Friendship wise, If you dislike pets or kids to an extreme degree.

I can understand maybe not wanting them (I would like to have kids but not pets) but if you’re constantly complaining about them and/or throwing insults at them, It’s really weird.

– _JaNJaN_

10. Smoking ci**rettes

It took me forever to quit, and I know how hard it is, but I made the effort and I did it.

It’s just not attractive anymore when others did it because I know how much better it is after.

– foxsable

11. Being involved in pyramid schemes

A friend invited me to lunch once and I noticed she was asking me a bunch of personal questions about my life – am I happy in my job & relationships, is there anything I want to change, do I create goals etc.

Then out of nowhere she pulled out a brochure and offered me 24 half hour life coaching sessions for $4,000. For the past 6 months she’d been involved in life coach training (clearly a pyramid scheme) where she attended lectures all across the US from this expert life coach of how to set yourself up with a coaching business.

This girl was the total opposite of someone who had their s**t together and I could tell she was sucked in by false promises of fortune & wealth. I wasn’t attracted to her in the first place but after that lunch I started to feel repulsion.

– schaumann

12. Littering

My SIL’s boyfriend litters and it makes me want to stuff all the trash he’s ever thrown on the ground down his throat.

– b**chcatsandtequila

13. Playing the victim

my older sister is like that. You can’t have anything remotely bad happen to you because it’s happened 10x worse to her.

It’s gotten to the point that I probably only see her once a year. I mean, that’s the tip of the iceberg to the reasons tho

– Chickeneggsandlegs

14. Being needlessly mean

I invited a friend that I knew for few years to a party at my house. I always know he’s kinda awkward but I never have a problem with that. Until he started talking s**t about other friends of mine (hippies), saying they were weird as f**k. Without even trying to get to know them.

I’m not sure if I’ll invite him to hangout after that

– NICD_03

15. Bad hygiene

Yea, found a total hotty.

We made out and her mouth just smelled f**king awful. I get that we had dinner several hours previously, but that s**t reeked of dirty a** tongue.

– trianscape

16. Making every conversation about themselves

My mother is a conversational narcissist. Every single conversation is about her, what she’s doing, what she thinks, what she wants to do, what she wants me to do, for her. And if you bring up something about yourself she has no input and turns it back to herself and her experiences or one ups you.

No one talks to her, she gets into arguments with people because she she says whatever she wants and doesn’t think how it might be offensive or just a annoying to the other person. Constantly injects herself into things, wants to tell you something and you signify you’re not interested, doesn’t process, keeps pushing til you flip out.

– Diligentbear

17. Not respecting boundaries

I recently visited some family i hadn’t seen since i was a teenager, and the amount of peer pressure i experienced made me super uncomfortable.

Like keep smoking, you havent smoked with your aunt ever, keep smoking and drink more, and they kept pouring more alcohol in my cup.

Never have i ever experienced peer pressure like that as a kid

– LucasCasper9314

18. Constantly talking s**t about people

I realised one day that I was talking s**t about people with a girlfriend cause it was the only way we bonded.

We broke up and I’m sure she talks s**t about me with everyone.

– not-yawning

19. Making one aspect of your life your identity

I had a friend that made sure everyone knew they h**ed Apple as a company.

If you had a convo lasting more than 5 minutes with this person, it would come up.

– BoldAsCalls

20. Coughing on people

One time I drove my coworker home. She sneezed into her hands with her fingers spread apart. I felt the sneeze hit me. She was a 60 year old woman.

I never wanted to scream at someone so badly (just…. How do you live that far into your life and still think sneezing into your hands is ok? Why keep the fingers open? It does nothing!!!!!!!!)

– BonBonShark

21. No sense of humor

Or weird sense of humor.

Like never laughs when other people do but laughs at a video of a cat getting run over or something really f**ked. That’s worse.

– beartheminus

22. Lack of sympathy

When I see someone brush off another person’s pain, or just being plain hostile towards someone who obviously needs help (especially when they make some stupid remark) it is an instant “I h**e you” realization I have.

It’s sad, sometimes it just ruins getting to know the person.

– sunflower_letters

23. Demeaning others

Having the “you’re worthless and can be easily replaced” attitude.

If a person is going to treat you like c**p what is the point of dating them when there are other people in the dating scene.

– UnknownL_13

24. No self-awareness

went on a date, i pick her up and she seems kind of nervous but everything was fine, not sparks or anything but we got on fine, there was definitely no second date happening…

so we got in my car and i was driving her home, she slips off her shoes and puts her feet up on the dash, where the air bag is…. and starts rolling a cigarette, i tell her “no smoking in my car and get your feet off the dash” (this is all going on whilst im driving.) she claps back with ” i will do what i want” and then laughs… like its a joke and she is a rebel, so i pulled in to a layby told her to get out if she was going to smoke.

so im sat there, she is smoking outside of the car and im just thinking “drive away…. “, she finishes and puts her feet back on the dash again as im driving… i now yell at her “Get your Feet of the dash!”. she gets defensive about it and starts freaking out. so i tell her in a calm yet stern voice

“if i get hit by a car, or crash, your legs will be shot at your face with the same speed as the air bag deployment, not only will your legs SHATTER, but more then likely your knees will go though your skull and you will d**.. so get your feet of the dash, Please!”

she took her feet of the dash

– Empty-Refrigerator

25. Gatekeeping/Smugness

I h**e hearing that I’m too old to enjoy something that I honestly enjoy, it hurts no one. You don’t have to enjoy it, but respect the fact that I do. Stop bringing up the fact that you only watch academy award winning films, you’re brand name only, you’re into the classic arts

I respect if you actually only like listening to classical music or you really are into these obscure award-winning films. That doesn’t mean you’re better than me or my interests

– TheDemonLady

26. Bragging badly

For me though its bragging about sh**ty behavior.

I recently went on a blind date with a woman who was super proud of herself for suing people and institutions.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It was a shame bc she was really attractive until she started to talk.

– illpoet

27. Apathy

Not putting in effort and being apathetic to someone who’s struggling.

Had an ex look me in the face a month after my dad d**d and told me that he didn’t want to comfort me because he didn’t want me to wallow in my grief.

– louerbrat

28. Bullying the vulnerable

For me, it’s being mean to animals and small children for just being animals or small children.

Like, they’re just doing their thing. It’s not their fault they don’t know how to do stuff and need help.

Don’t treat them sh**ty because of it.

– KT_mama

29. Stupidity

For me stupidity by itself is not enough to repel me from someone – it’s certain kinds of stupidity.

E.g. wacky, funny stupid is fine. Toxic, “only I can be right” stupid is not.

This of course all depends on the severity of the stupid. Like are they just reckless and find it difficult to learn from mistakes, or are they full on ignorant and resilient to any type of new information?

– A**FishOfTheLake

30. Being rude to waitstaff

I refused a second date with a good-looking, “typically successful” guy because he would put little pieces of paper on the edge of our table and then time the waiters to see how long it took for them to come by and sweep them up.

I don’t care how high you’re currently climbing on Wall Street. You’re an a**hole and life is too short to date Manhattan a**holes.

I wanted to bail at the end of that date, but it just kept going and going because he wanted to take me to meet his pot dealer.

Honestly, it was one of the worst and weirdest nights of my life. I just needed to get to a subway station I could recognize so I could get the h**l out of there.

Man, I don’t miss that phase of my life anymore!

– daughterof312

That last one came up…kind of a lot. Don’t be rude to waitstaff. It’s the fastest way to make a reasonable person despise you.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.