Good friends can be really hard to find, and that only gets more true as we get older.
I think that’s the reason why a lot of us will hold onto our friendships – especially the ones we’ve had since childhood – for dear life.
That said, most of us realized that there can and are times when we have to let go, no matter how hard it might be. These people are sharing stories of those moments for them, and how they knew it was right.
1. They only care about themselves.
I tried to talk to a guy who I thought was my friend about something going on between me and my Dad for a few minutes during a drive.
He flat out silently stared at his phone until I said something semi related about him, which is when he perked up and started telling me about how much money he’d made recently, and how he got all of this free weed from someone and boy was his life sweet.
I sorta just mhm’ed my way through it, and when he got to the end of his brag session he in all serious told me he was pretty offended at how little interest I showed in what he’d been saying.
2. That seems gross.
When I took him aside to ask him to stop bullying our classmate (we were adults in college) and he tried to flip it on me and started fake crying.
3. They make bad choices.
When she told me she didn’t take birth control anymore, without telling her boyfriend.
When I tried tp talk some sense in her, she just freaked out and told me to mind my own business
4. Is this abuse?
She had invited me to see her 4 yo daughter perform in a beauty pageant. Ugh, I know.
The little girl sang a sob song about some kid praying to Jesus about their dead mommy. My friend whispered to me that the song ‘always won brownie points with the judges’. Again, ugh.
After the girl performed she came to stand by us in the audience and my friend SMACKED the child’s tummy and scolded “suck it in, no one likes a fat kid”.
Yep, I was DONE. I walked out. And yes, my friend, the mother was obese.
5. They can’t just do the right thing.
I cut ties with a best friend. We all worked together, too, and I had met her now-husband’s wife. They cheated for a solid year before he finally broke it off with the wife.
Her defense, when I flipped out on her, was that he really was the one, and there were logistical reasons for him not to break it off. They’re still together, 15 years later, three kids, etc.
Ok do he’s your soulmate – so f**king sack up and do the right thing, asshole. Break it off.
6. Two different friends.
When they started treating me different around other people.
Together just the two of us, everything was great.
In a crowd I became ignored except for when I was the butt of jokes. I’m not thin skinned, I’m not talking about not being able to take a joke.
It’s more that they act embarrassed to know me or want to distance themselves. I don’t have time for that insecure bullshit.
7. He never had anything nice to say.
Everything I mentioned to him he cut down and said everything wrong with it. Never had anything nice to say and always seemed to try and compete with me for some reason.
Blocked and deleted his number from my phone.
8. They’re an awful person.
When she threw a big 30th birthday party for all her friends, where she invited the one girl she’d had a falling out with to come in 2 hours later and told everyone she was a b*%ch and we should all shun her.
The poor girl came in with a big ass expensive present, being so happy her friend and her where making up, just to be ignored and belittled by over 30 people.
She left crying. I left not long after and ghosted the s*%t out of her.
9. The last straw.
When I was stressed out in the middle of a sudden move and she freaked out because I asked if she could come get the jersey I’d borrowed from her, rather than me bringing it to her.
It was the last straw after years of the relationship being 95% my effort, literally dropping everything when she “needed” me, yet her not even returning my calls when i needed support.
I showed up at the ER when she was feeling suicidal, I took her into my home for a few nights when she and her husband were arguing, I listened for hours when she needed an ear and a shoulder to cry on.
And then she tore into me because I asked if she could pick up her jersey.
10. He’s a liar.
We kinda fell out a while ago but TIL he seems to have been using me as an alibi to cheat on his wife. She’s texting me about us having drinks the other night & we haven’t done anything socially outside of work since before COVID.
edit: Without going into detail I’m certain my confused reaction blew up whatever bs he’s been telling her.
You can all rest assured I am not in the habit of lying to people & wouldn’t cover for someone in this situation unless it involved a psycho abusive spouse, a “we went on one date” stalker – that kind of thing… Even then I’d need some kind of heads up beforehand!
11. They take advantage of you.
It was several friends at once.
I’ll truncate this story the best I can, there’s a lot more detail and context.
My vehicle in high school was a minivan. That meant I was the preferred driver whenever our friend group went anywhere.
My mom also happened to be an expert at winning radio contests, particular concert tickets. That meant I was take one to three friends to all sorts of concerts over the course of two summers (Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Incubus, the list goes on and on and on)
I drove a van full of friends to numerous concerts that I’d given them tickets to.
One time, the core group of my concert buddies decided they wanted to go to see a band that they definitely knew I liked. By this point, one of them was working at the local Rock Station and was best friends with one of the late night DJ’s for the station, and the DJ offered to take them in the station’s Suburban down to the concert.
They just didn’t even f**king invite me, even though I’d have just bought my own ticket.
Wait, there’s more.
What happened when the DJ decided to be a douche bag and bail on them because he clearly had mental problems and had a breakdown for no apparent reason?
Yeah. They called me, and asked me if I could drive two hours to pick them up because I was the only one with a car big enough for everybody.
That was a big NO from me. Parted ways with them for quite a while, started hanging around new people. They obviously knew what they did was s*%tty because when I did eventually come back around (not for them, just incidentally through other friends) they were all extra friendly toward me.
12. They blame you for their bad decisions.
When he told me I should have been in the car with him when he rolled his car drunk driving, and that I could have helped keep him awake.
This happened after we had been bar hopping the night before and I kept trying to convince him not to drive and refused to get in the car with him.
13. They leave you alone.
At uni, I was friends with a girl, who lived in the dorms. I didn’t live in the dorms. She had a hernia and I would go to uni early to help her carry her bags to class. (All our lectures were shared.)
I supported her with everything, we would hang out all the time.
We both wanted to carry on with our studies and attend a different degree/major. She was desperate to get into a course, and it was really important to her. I would help carry her portfolio to various interviews etc. meanwhile I was wanted a change of direction and had my eyes set on a different degree/major.
On the day of finding out if we got into our courses. We were waiting outside the facility office, waiting for our names to be called. It was me and my friend, the only ones left in the waiting area.
My friend was so nervous. I was comforting her and telling her she’s got this. My friend also bought another girl with her, who did live in the dorms. My friends name was called, and all three of us went inside the office with her for support.
My friend asked me to leave the office but she wanted the other girl there. So I left and sat back down. I heard shouts and screams of joy, she clearly got accepted into her course. I was really happy for her. My friend and the other girl left the office and walked straight pass me, ignoring me completely, and left the area.
I am the only person left in the waiting area. My name was called into the office, and I was told I didn’t get into the course I wanted. I left the office. Left the building and cried by myself. I never spoken to her since.
14. That hurts.
Friends for 34 years. Besties. Never checked on me when my father died. No card. No flowers. Not even a text message on the day of his funeral.
Had the nerve to call a month and a half later looking for me to celebrate her birthday.
15. A toxic cycle.
I had a close friend from childhood who was very into the traditional lifestyle, with wife, kids, part of the PTA and church.
Even in high school. He would date anyone that would have him, and ignore us until they broke up and he’d come crawling back. We were best of friends so we always were glad to have him back involved in our group.
He went to college literally because he was looking for a girl to marry. He ended up dropping out after 2 yrs, and getting a job delivering auto parts where he started dating and married his boss’s daughter.
They popped out 3 kids right in a row, and every time i talked to him things were “great” but he just would stop responding to me more and more often. He was 110% devoted to his little family which was great, but he just stopped being my friend. I’d invite him to get together and he would always just say “oh why don’t you come over here, you can see the kids”. That was fine, but his wife and he would just be on me the whole time about how I’m not really an adult because i dont have a family, my job was putting my ability to have kids at risk (firefighter) and that I basically only had value if i was breeding. So part of the distancing was me honestly. I didn’t like having to put up with that just to see my friend.
Long story short, his wife cheats on him, they divorced and she’s instantly pregnant with other guy’s baby. He comes to me broken over this and we get close again. Really close. I was driving over to his house at 3AM because he was feeling like hurting himself, and stayed with him until he felt better. I drove him to therapy, watched his kids while he was laying in bed all day, unable to get up and brought food for his family. We got really close again and i opened up about why i felt we drifted apart.
He actually apologized and admitted he suspected that was why. I thought i had my best friend again.
Untill he met another girl. And i started seeing less of him. He started flaking on me to hang out. When i did come over, the remarks about “doing the adult thing” would come out again. His new girlfriend had 3 kids too, so he started joking about being the Brady Bunch. I hung on trying to keep the friendship together because i felt bad for not trying enough last time, but he was sliding back into the old him.
I was sitting looking at a text he sent after ignoring me for a week that said “lol, yes, well maybe you’ll find a good woman like i did and finally grow up” and realized i was the only one trying to be a friend, and i just didn’t give a shit anymore. I deleted his number and haven’t heard from him in 2 years. Last thing i heard from him was that text.
I realized he didn’t want to be my friend so much as I was his “backup wife”. I was an easy fill in to fall back on when he found himself single. I’m thinking he may reach out again when he finds himself single again, and i wont be there to answer
16. An intentional snub.
When somebody who I considered a very close friend didn’t invite me to his wedding, despite inviting literally every one else in our social circle.
17. They’re not in your corner.
He seemed to enjoy when I failed.
I was waiting for news of a big career opportunity for a few months, and the sound of relief and satisfaction in his voice when I told my friend it fell through made me realize how hard she had been internally rooting against me.
I think he genuinely liked me, but not being the “star” in our friendship was too much for him.
18. You just outgrew them.
We were in my other friends room drinking and me and my friend (he’s like a brother) just couldn’t talk. Everything he said to me was so cyclical .
I realized I’ve grown a lot as a person while my friend had more or less been continuing to live the party-lifestyle. I realized, too, that he didn’t want to celebrate wins with me, he waas envious
19. It takes courage to admit that.
Honestly, I think I’m the one that usually got cut off.
I used to be a real a$$hole.
20. He didn’t have the bandwidth?
My relationship with my ex was falling apart and I needed someone to talk to about it. One of my oldest, and I thought best, friends came over for a tv night, and no one else showed.
We watched a couple episodes and my still wife at the time leaves. I ask my friend if I can talk to him about what’s going on in my life, that I really need someone to talk to. He says his other friends have been dealing with a lot too lately and he doesn’t have the bandwidth for me.
Then it clicked. When I made plans with this guy, half the time he said he wasn’t sure and he would let me know. He only hung out with me if he couldn’t make other plans and prioritized me.beliw all these other friends he’s never introduced me to despite knowing him for years.
21. Stone cold.
Faked a break-in at our apartment, stole my gf’s diamond earrings, my watch…… and a winter hat from his room.
Then apparently locked everything up after they broke in.
22. They didn’t really care.
I always texted first. So i stopped and never heard from my friend group again.
23. A liar, and a mean one.
when she lied straight to my face about the stupidest things to get me to feel sorry for her and called me a b*%ch when I said that our friendship had run its course and I was no longer interested in talking to her.
24. They always wanted something.
You know the type. The one who only communicates with you until it leads to them asking for something. C-ya.
25. She doesn’t trust you.
She ran an animal rescue group.
Not quite 2 weeks after my husband of 18 years died, she seriously accused me of trying to take over the group.
26. That’s straight ugly.
When my friend with Bi-Polar disorder, who I supported through everything and never held a grudge no matter the cruel things they said to me, told me that they would “dance on” my grave when I die.
Called me 1 month later to tell me it was due to their depressive state but the damage was done.
27. You hate to hear this.
When my whole friend group blamed me for my sexual assault.
28. They don’t think about you at all.
I was camping once with a friend and my boyfriend at the time, she had driven us to the town we were camping in (about 3 hours away from home), and we were using her tent (all her idea to drive and her offer of the tent).
Her sister was camping in a town about 30 mins away, one day she just decided she wanted to go and camp with her sister instead. She pulled all of our stuff out of the tent while my boyfriend and I were out, left it all in the middle of the campsite, took the tent and drove off to where her sister was.
We had to find someone to drive 3 hours to come and get us to take us home
29. It’s their loss.
When I told them that I left my high demand religion. They said we no longer had anything in common. What?? 30 years of friendship over in 1 conversation. Btw..
I had been out for years, but they never knew. Once official, I was no longer trustworthy, sinful and lost. It’s their loss. Not mine. That was the end for me.
30. They didn’t really seem to care.
My college roommate never once reaching out. Always promising to come visit, but only making plans when I would reach out to him.
I just stopped reaching out about five years ago and haven’t heard from him. I’m pretty sure if he called me tomorrow I would just hang up.
31. Neither of these is funny.
two examples. found out he lied to us about having a terminal illness, turns out he made it up
and second example. Friend was sleeping with my at time girlfriend and all my other friends knew and dint tell me, just encouraged it like it was a big joke.
32. I cannot believe this actually happened.
Reminds me of when my wife and I were trying to develop a new relationship with some neighbors.
Plenty of strike-outs and rainchecks, then one day we get a call and they want us to come over for a visit.
We get dressed up and were generally looking forward to a fun evening.
We get there, and after a few minutes of small talk another couple arrives ( we all knew each other), and the couple who invited us over stand up and grab their coats and leave to go to dinner with the other couple, leaving us to watch their young kids.
They Catfished us into being their babysitter!
It happened so quickly that we had no idea what was going on until they had left.
Never tried to hang out with them again.
Edit: we stayed, thinking “why ruin the kids’ evening?”
The couple called us several times after this, but we always politely declined.
We later found out that they did this same thing to other couples!
33. A thousand little cuts.
Many little things over a short period of time, but this was the tipping point. I was working 50-60 hours a week and had very little free time. A friend asked me to help her and her family move a few miles away because I had a truck.
I agreed to run a few loads over if she fed me because I would be doing it right before work. We’re talking pizza or cheap take out, not a gourmet meal. Did the few loads and asked for the food so I could be on my way not starving. She dead panned looked at me and said “oh, we’re doing pizza tomorrow.”
That was the last time I spoke to her I was so pissed. Might seem petty, but like I said it was little things like this repeatedly that made me feel unappreciated and used so I noped out of that friendship.
I agree with all of these people; they deserve better from the friends in their lives.
Have you had to give a friend the boot? Tell us in the comments why and how it went!