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Even smart folk shave to admit that, at one time or another, they totally bought into a lie. Whether it was told to them on purpose, as a joke, or they went hook, line, and sinker for something more sinister, it honestly happens to all of us.
If you don’t believe me, just check out these people ready to confess their most gullible moments.
1. When the dumb almost takes you out.
That I could smell something while underwater.
When I was around 10/12 years old I was in a tropical themed water park where also happened to be a herbal bath. It smelled very nice, which I had not expected. Most of the tropical plants were fake plastic plants, so I figured the water in the bath was normal swimming pool water and the smell was coming from something else. The bath was surrounded with a small aromatic herb garden which didn’t look fake. I sneakily took a sample from a thyme plant that felt surprisingly real.
But because the air was filled with all the different aromas and a hint of chlorine I couldn’t smell anything different when I tried to smell the thyme. I figured the only place where my sense of smell couldn’t be fooled by any fakery was underwater. For 5 seconds I actually felt pretty smart. Until I tried.
2. I am dead now.
That sperm were the size of tennis balls and would burst forth from the head of your penis if you “slept with a woman”, slither across the bed up into her, and make the baby.
Thanks facts of life popup book with no adults willing to clarify that the objects within were not always to scale.
3. His wife told him the truth.
I used to think they dropped the ball at times square multiple times for each USA time zone.
I just assumed people stuck around for the extra ball drops cuz they were all drunk and having fun.
Worth mentioning that I believed this until I was an adult and had my east coast wife let me down easy
4. S** education is sorely lacking.
I thought that girls peed from their butts.
Then I learned about vaginas and thought girls peed from there.
It wasn’t until I was like 16 that I realized there was another hole.
5. That makes you think.
When we played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon my little sister used to accept the lamest missions and not get good rewards. I told her about it and she responded with
“How would you like it if you were a poor Pokémon that lost its mom and was stuck all alone and had nothing to give someone to save you?”
I laughed my head off at her because “it’s not real, duh” but secretly, I feel that in my soul sometimes.
6. Hollywood is a liar.
That men can get pregnant too …. damn you Schwarzenegger :'(
I was 6 and I saw a man with a big beer belly shopping for diapers at a mall. It made all sense to me and i was so happy i screamed omg u will have a baby !
I think I am gonna go rewatch Junior again.
7. It’s the last part that nails it.
As a kid, my sister told me that we had an older brother that died.
She said he died when playing bowling and his fingers didn’t come out the ball and slid all the way down the alley then he turned into a skittle.
8. Maybe these should be things.
When I was a little kid, I believed that when people got divorced, they had a divorce ceremony, like where they had to go to church and say, “I don’t.”
I imagined the woman wore a black divorce dress (like her wedding dress had been dyed black), and that everybody went to the reception where the ex-bride and ex-groom sat on opposite sides of the hall and there was a divorce cake where the little bride and groom on top had their backs to each other with their arms angrily crossed.
I eventually learned, from watching my mom’s soap operas, that this was not the case, and was kind of disappointed cuz I’d been to a few weddings by then, and was interested in what a divorce ceremony was like.
9. Fell for it.
“One of my favorite songs growing up was TLC’s “Don’t Go, Jason Waterfalls”.”
10. I guess undercover work is in trouble, then.
That if you ask someone if they’re a police officer, they have to tell you the truth.
There are still people who believe this. Whoever started this urban legend is a genius.
11. I don’t know when I realized they were real.
That reindeer wasn’t an actual animal but specifically a mythical animal that Santa Claus used.
I believed this until I was 23 or so when I saw some nature documentary talking about reindeer. I was like.. whaaaaaaaaat?
12. Sometimes we just want to believe.
My dog went to a farm… Until I was 35.
13. That is very elaborate.
When I was a kid I used to think professional wrestling was real, and The Undertaker scared the living shit out of me during his whole Ministry of Darkness phase. I thought he actually was Satan’s minister or something.
Like yeah, he’s an undead overlord of hell, here to bring an eternity of darkness and misery to this planet, but he also has to make a weekly television appearance to win a wrestling competition, and you can buy his action figure at Toys R Us.
14. Major parent fail.
I thought guys got periods too, but only once, and you bled and then you were able to impregnate someone.
I cut my upper leg during a rugby match and was bleeding near my groin and was devastated because I thought everyone would presume I had my period mid-match and also subsequently would be walking around able to impregnate people. Worst thing is, I wasn’t even a stupid kid – we literally just lived in a reserved country and I was a full-time boarder at my school, so never got ‘the talk’.
Anyway, thanks for attending my Bled Talk.
15. Bless.
I believed my uncles “roommate” just slept on the couch…
16. I can see this kid’s mind turning.
More so naive and innocent rather than dumb but still funny.
My dad used to tell us kids that a dwarf/little person worked in and operated every carpark barrier in the world.
Every time he drove up to one he’d press the button for the ticket and say “cheers mate, hows the wife?” and fake a conversation as he waited for the barrier to open lol.
17. Wait, they don’t?
I was convinced that Greeks still worshipped Zeus and other gods for awhile after I heard the word Greek Orthodox Church as a kid.
18. Mom was definitely a witch.
Here’s the list so far:
• I firmly believed from ages 3 to 8 that every single night, little elves would march around my bed until morning and that if I dangled my foot off the bed, they would eat my toes.
• My mum told me that midnight was the witching hour so if I didn’t go to sleep by then, I would get kidnapped by witches.
• My mum also told me that if I didn’t clean my room, snakes would raid my room because they were attracted to the mess.
• I also thought that a witch stood behind my bed each night and if any bit of hair strayed from my pillow, she would take a piece for her spells.
As you can imagine, I didn’t sleep very well as a child.
19. They do have snacks and refrigerators…
I was convinced that Greeks still worshipped Zeus and other gods for awhile after I heard the word Greek Orthodox Church as a kid.
20. There’s just one problem.
I was once told that (British TV presenter) Jeremy Beadle’s hand had such small fingers because of a condition (poland syndrome) that meant he had to have his fingers replaced, and that his fingers were, in fact, pigs toes.
For years, this was a piece of obscure general knowledge that I would break out when i felt the need to display the breadth of my weird knowledge.
And it went down really well until the days someone finally said “Don’t pigs have hooves?”
i don’t know that I have ever experienced such a moment of butt-clenchingly cringey embarrassment.
21. Dads are the best.
My dad is bald but has always had a beard (since I’ve known him, anyway). He was also a serviceman.
He used to tell me that the reason he was bald was that he stood on a landmine which blew the hair off the top of his head and it slipped round to give him the beard instead.
As a child I was just like “yep, makes sense. Hair not on head, hair in chin. That’s gravity for ya”.
He also told me that a scar on his leg was from a gunshot wound. Twenty years later I got a bug bite on my leg, that got infected (sorry, hope you’re not eating) and left a perfectly round scar in the same place as his. I commented on how much my bug bite scar looked like his gunshot wound scar and he said “what? Is that what I told you? No, this was a bug bite that got infected.”
Ah, dads.
22. A bad lot.
That being named Johnny was a sin…
There’s a part of the song The Devil went down to Georgia that goes “my names Johnny and it might be a sin, but I’ll take your bet” I instantly associated the name with being a sin not making bets with the devil.
This made me think kids named Johnny were sons of Devil worshippers.
I was a very dumb kid.
23. I mean. She’s not wrong.
I thought Churchill was an architect because when I was little my mum told me he was one of the ‘architects of Israel’.
24. The laugh that keeps on giving.
That WD40 meant windows down, 40mph
Someone told me that in middle school as a joke and I took it literally until I was a senior.
25. More than kinda.
When I was little, I genuinely believed the Telly Tubbies were evil and that if I didn’t watch them on TV every night (even though I hated the show) that they would come and get me.
To be fair though they’re kind of creepy.
26. He could have left something. Ha!
I grew up in a Jewish household but was aware of the whole Christmas thing. It was my understanding that Santa would go around bringing gifts to kids if they left out a plate of cookies and some milk for him. Seemed easy enough!
‘Twas the night before Christmas and I left the perfect food arrangement out for Santa, thinking in spite of my religious beliefs, he might leave me a gift in exchange for the snacks. When I awoke the next morning, the cookies and milk were gone but no present was left. I was a FURIOUS. How dare this jolly fat man come into my whole, steal my food and not leave anything in return! I spent years complaining about it and would curse the mans name if I saw him.
Of course years later my dad admitted that he had eaten everything. Thanks dad.
27. So many people believe this!
That dark meat and white meat come from 2 different birds.
I was 12 when they asked me, as they did each year at Thanksgiving, which kind of meat I wanted. That year, I said, “Dark meat, please…. but I feel bad I’m the only one who really eats it and you always have to get an entire second Turkey just for me.”
I’m still teased about it to this day… at 46 years old.
28. Bless his heart.
I used to be so confused about the amount of time it would take to make movies because I was convinced they did it all in chronological order and when they did flashbacks to childhood, I was like “wow those actors are so committed” ? or I would think it must take a long time for their hair to grow or change in anyway and never considered it could be a wig lol
29. Just wait until WWIII.
As a kid, I thought that the ‘World Wars’ were like battle royales where there were no alliances, no surrenders, and just pure bloody violence between every country on Earth (e.g. I thought every country fought all of its neighbours simultaneously)
30. How long did this go on?
I am from a Muslim country. There are Mosques everywhere, so we always hear Ezan/Azan (Call to prayer)
I used to believe that Allah(God) was reciting the Ezan…
So I was like; I can’t understand how we can’t know what God is like, what he looks like, and that we can only meet him in the afterlife. Just trap him down when he leaves the mosque after he finished reciting the Ezan?????
31. Innocence can be horrifying.
When I was ~6 I watched a movie (King Kong?) and a scene with a bunch of black folks emerging from the mud appeared and I got a bit spooked by it.
A bit later, I was at McDonalds with my parents and I saw a black family walk in. Thank god my parents are deaf or I would’ve asked, out loud, “why are the mud people here?”
Mum thought I was racist but I was just a bit inexperienced lol
32. That is hilarious…and slightly concerning.
My father and I used to mess with my sister as she was growing up, when she saw an orange tree for the first time the oranges were unripe and very green, we then told her that all of the citrus fruits came from the same tree, and depending on when you picked them, that was the fruit you got.
They started as Limes, then ripened into Lemons, which would grow into Oranges, and then if left too long would grow into Grapefruits. She graduated with honors from a major state university this year.
We found out that she still believed this during our family trip to Mexico last spring (2019) when we had to break the news to her.
33. Sounds plausible.
Someone convinced me for like, 5 seconds that unicorns were real, they just lost their horns through evolution and now they are plain old horses.
34. I mean it makes sense.
I thought sugar grew in sugar caves, similar to salt caves. I believed that sugar crystals (like rock candy) just grew in caves and there were parts of the world with beautiful crystallised sugar caves.
I was 25 years old when I brought it up in conversation with my fiance. I tried to prove to him they were real and it was when I reached my 4th page on Google, I realised my whole world was a lie.
I’m not a terribly gullible person, but some of these would have been hard to refute!
What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever bought? Confessions in the comments!
