Twitter is good for many, many things.
And one of them is for frustrated/annoyed parents to sound off and give us the straight dope about parenting.
It isn’t all fun and games, friends.
Here are some funny parenting tweets to tide you over until the next round…
1. Keep it down!
The class will hear!
What a crazy world— my 5yo just requested me to please not be loud or crazy because she has a call at 10 with her class.
— Vic 🌮 (@VicVijayakumar) March 24, 2020
2. Do it today.
And do it EVERY single day after that.
IDK who needs to hear this but don’t wait until the end of the quarantine to discover you never pulled your kid’s lunch out of her backpack.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) March 22, 2020
3. No one’s turning it off now.
Just keep streaming! Don’t question me!
Dear Netflix,
For the remainder of the quarantine, please assume we are always “still watching.”
Sincerely,
All Parents
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) March 21, 2020
4. Oh shit!
Take her away from the mom!
My daughter just maintained eye contact while stuffing her face with the last of my chocolate stash and my husband said “oh shit” and picked her up and took her into the other room but he won’t always be here to protect her
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 28, 2020
5. A fun new game!
Everybody drink!
Wife: What are you guys playing?
Me: Hopscotch.
Wife: But the kids are just hopping up and down while you're drinking scot-
Me:
Wife: Got an extra glass?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 24, 2020
6. Whatever…doesn’t matter anymore.
I mean… it’s really ALL the days.
https://twitter.com/EmissaryKerry/status/1242837553801318401
7. Not on the same page.
It’s just kind of how things go sometimes.
Them: I taught my kids French during the quarantine
Me: I taught my 4 year old TikTok
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 25, 2020
8. Way too soon.
How much did you save over the course of the year?
Do y’all think it’s too soon to break out the spreadsheet I made showing how much money we have saved by not eating out over the last two weeks?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2020
9. Time to start drinking.
I mean… does it really matter?
My 19 year old just asked me if she could have a beer and for support she said, “Does it really matter at this point? My college semester is over. You turned my room into a closet. You won’t let me leave the house. My life sucks. For the love of God let me have a drink woman.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 24, 2020
10. The whining table.
Everybody should get one!
I moved a table into the living room so the kids now have a cute little workspace/desk area to sit at while they whine.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 23, 2020
11. Our house is now a buffet!
Everybody, to the gym!
Me: We’re well stocked with the necessities, let’s not waste food
What my kids hear: Yayy let’s eat, every hour, like it’s a cruise buffet
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 25, 2020
12. Not this year…
Oh 2020… we’ll never forget you.
Whoever said, "the days are long but the years are short" did not know about 2020.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 22, 2020
13. It’s already been that long?
And now… as I write this… it’s even LONGER. Jeezus.
Shoutout to anyone who is still homeschooling on this the 250th day of the quarantine.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) March 23, 2020
Moms and dads: we’re here for you if you want to vent to us. Because you have been through some s**t this year! You actually had to spend ALL the time with your kids, like people did for most of human history.
Still think we’ve got it bad?
Hey, you know where you can bitch the loudest, right? In the comments below!
Tell us a funny or crazy or annoying or maddening story about your little angels.
