Guys, if you’re married, we think we know a little bit about what you’re going through.
Because we’ve been there and we know the drill!
You’re walking a fine line, trying to do the right thing, not make your wife mad, and to keep the marriage intact.
It’s a bit like dodging landmines, isn’t it?
Buuuuut, you also know that you’re a man, so you’re gonna inevitably do a bunch of things to annoy your wife and then you will face the consequences.
In the meantime, enjoy these funny tweets from husbands who are really in the thick of it.
1. Who knew? Did you?!?!
You’re going to learn all kinds of valuable lessons!
Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 1, 2020
2. Make sure to check your bank activity…
Just sayin’…
The look in my wife’s eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2020
3. Here’s the evidence.
Who is this monster?!?!
my wife was feeling pretty confident walking into divorce court but she didn’t know i had pictures pic.twitter.com/3EAthvsd2S
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 22, 2020
4. You know she’s doing it for you.
No way you could do that on your own.
The best thing about being married is having clothes that match.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 24, 2020
5. How much time you got?
This is gonna take a while…
My wife asked me if she had any ‘annoying’ habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation.
— Batty (@BattyMclain) June 23, 2020
6. Get back to work!
You have no free time anymore.
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Taking a virtual tour of Pharoah Ramesses VI's tomb.
Wife: What are you supposed to be doing?
Me: …not this?
Wife: *buries me in unfolded laundry*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2020
7. How did you not guess that?
You must be a real idiot!
today my wife said “guess who i saw in costco today?” then made me guess for like 10 min and when i didnt guess it was like “remember that super tan lady we saw walking down the street last week..” thats who she thought i might guess. a lady we dont even know that we saw one time
— slick (@dlicj) June 25, 2020
8. You guys okay in there?
Nice of him to check in.
My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 22, 2020
9. That really got him excited.
All the cookies I want?
girl at bar: i’d let you do that thing in bed that your wife won’t
me: [visibly excited] eat cookies?
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 14, 2020
10. You had a good run.
And just like that, it’s over.
My wife said I walk like an elephant and she can hear me coming a mile away. So I did the mature thing and snuck up on her 60 seconds later and scared the shit out of her. She has now filed for divorce.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 29, 2020
11. I’m very confused…
Sorry that didn’t work out for you.
Wife: is it hard?
Me: not yet but if we get naked-
Wife: the taxes, not your dick.
Me: oh…yeah I’m pretty confused actually.
Wife: clearly.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 24, 2020
12. You have to be prepared.
You never what’s coming next with her…
https://twitter.com/KarmaPolice238/status/1277991283311742976?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1277991283311742976%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fasiawmclain%2Ffunniest-brutal-husband-tweets
13. I didn’t really mean that.
I’m gonna go back to sleep…
[road trip]
Me: Want me to drive for a while?
Wife: Sure.
Me: Oh. That wasn't a real offer.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2020
Now we want to hear from you!
If you’re a husband, tell us about the lastest thing you’ve done to drive your wife crazy lately.
And if you’re a wife, give us the dirt on your husband.
Do it in the comments! Thanks!
