What is it about guys in marriages that they can’t seem to do the right thing and keep their wives happy?
They constantly have to act like knuckleheads and push the limits, even when they know there will be hell to pay.
I can’t explain it, can you?
I guess it must just be embedded into the male DNA or something…but what do I know, it’s not like I’m Alfred Einstein or something…
While we all try to figure out this conundrum, enjoy these hilarious tweets from husbands who have definitely done their fair share of living on the edge.
1. Never do this. EVER.
You’ll never be forgiven.
Just a heads up, if you exchange the gift your wife got you, even if it’s her idea and she’s quote “totally fine with it”, this act will be used against you in a future argument at some point in the next ten years
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 30, 2020
2. Famous last words…
This is a good move.
I always say “I love you” to my wife when she leaves because I’d hate for something to happen and the last thing she ever hears from me is, “while you’re at the store get poop bags.”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 27, 2020
3. The plate with the dinosaurs?
Having a few eating challenges lately.
my wife says I’m acting like a toddler but maybe she shouldn’t have put my food on the wrong plate
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 29, 2020
4. This causes a lot of issues.
Just a heads-up if you’re thinking about getting married.
There are 2 types of people in a marriage: the person who thinks their way of loading the dishwasher is best and the person who thinks their way of loading the dishwasher is best
— The Dad (@thedad) June 27, 2020
5. You blew it. Again.
You’ll always be wrong. ALWAYS.
ME: *walks by to put anything away*
WIFE: [not even looking up from her phone] that doesn’t go there
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 22, 2020
6. That is remarkable.
How is this possible?
My wife can slice cheese without eating a slice herself and I am starting to wonder if she is even human.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 4, 2020
7. That was quick.
No gray area about this one.
8. It’s a really fun game!
See who can hold out the longest.
Marriage is about finding that one special person to play “who’s going to empty the bathroom trashcan” chicken with for the rest of your lives.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 9, 2020
9. Thank you, darling.
You don’t know how happy this made me.
I forgot today was our anniversary but my wife forgot too and that’s really the best gift she has ever given me.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 16, 2020
10. I can’t think right now…
But hopefully soon…
Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain
Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 6, 2016
11. Right…me, too…
Don’t say that out loud in front of your wife.
FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life
WIFE: our wedding day
ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same
— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) March 17, 2016
12. What are you talking about?
She’s really not gonna like this.
WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you?
ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 16, 2016
Now it’s your turn to sound off!
In the comments, tell us about the things your spouse has done lately that have really made you shake your head…either in anger or in laughter.
We can’t wait to hear from you!