As popular as Marvel movies are, there’s one complaint that people keep having: the villains just aren’t interesting enough.
Now, I’m no superhero writer but I would like to humbly suggest the villain of Mayo Man.
You are allowed to replace any substance with mayo. What do you pick to cause the most chaos?
byu/Phrenic436 inAskReddit
Here are some suggestions and reactions to how such a power could be best utilized to cause chaos, because, Reddit.
1. The Earth’s core
I really wonder what would happen if this actually happened.
All that mayo is just going disintegrate from the rest of the mantle and heat, leaving a large cavity of the earth empty.
Would the entire world collapse because of mayo?
– LukeTheDieHardLeafer
2. Holy water
Priests just slinging mayo in the face of patrons would be hilarious.
Totally South Park worthy.
– Derick_Ruhl
3. Poop
I feel like someone’s already running the beta on this now with Birds.
– Wallstreet_Remora
4. Milk
no more baked things or chocolate or ice cream… There would be riots immediately.
– 24-Hour-Hate
5. Hard drugs
Dude, I need my fix of Hellman’s, where is it?
– UnsorryCanadian
6. Tobacco
Mmmm, white creamy c**p in your c**arette will help me and millions of others quit.
– SewerSleuth74
7. Pizza sauce
This might be the most delicious answer yet!
– MikeMazook
8. Steel
A ton of skyscrapers and other buildings would just fall down.
– PostHereIsMadeOfPost
9. My ex-girlfriend
It wouldn’t cause chaos, but I will gladly miss the point of this thread if it means that I can turn that b**ch into mayonnaise.
– Foreign_Crazy3582
10. Ketchup
Now you don’t know what the h**l to do, do you?
Fries with mayo and mayo?
– poncicle
11. Mayonnaise jars
It wouldn’t probably create lots of mayhem but the thought of it is slightly funny to me.
– Blightborne_
12. Marshmallow puff
Hear me out, only transform the inside of the Marshmallow to Mayo.
A bit more of a surprise for people
– EpicIzAwesom
13. All ink used to make the letter E
It would at least throw English-speaking countries into confusion, and create conspiracy theories and cults for decades to come.
– Exia_Gundam00
14. Every radioactive substance in Chernobyl
Maybe the radiation will go down much faster there 2.
For a hot minute, people will think some dude just n**ted all over the place
– michae1031
15. The US Presidents
Why stop there, turn all politicians to mayo
– LieutenantSteel
16. Clothing fabric
Imagine everyone walking around doin’ their thing and BAM!
Everyone’s naked and covered in mayo.
It would be…. interesting..
– Early_Context9118
17. Gorilla Glue
That tic-tock lady’s hair would be so moisturized.
– SinisterStrat
18. Glass
Pedestrians on city sidewalks would be blessed by mayo descending from the heavens and every car would be a Jeep.
– sW0NT0N
19. Egg-free Mayo
The vegans must now stop eating mayo.
– TimeToF**kPigeons
20. Thermal paste
Computers everywhere experience overheating and/or come grinding to a screeching halt.
These days I bet that’s the most chaos per volume of replaced substance.
– InsidiousTroll
21. Sand
Every window, screen and windshield turned to Mayo in an instant.
Almost all electronics become unusable, concrete buildings falling to the ground, and the beaches, oh god the beaches.
Let alone the mayhem under the sea! It’s perfect!
– Titan7856
22. Miracle Whip
FINALLY my dad will stop putting that s**t on his hot dogs
– dekuscrubber
23. Vanilla icing
Society would collapse within minutes.
– lildanta
24. Concrete
There would be a tremendous GLOSH and many people would immediately drown and get banged around by building materials and furniture in the gloppy mayo madness.
– OrgeGeorwell
25. Soap
I’m gonna puke just thinking of that. Everything everywhere would be so f**king greasy.
– Aliencj
26. Water
Imagine the snow, or Antarctica, the inuits would live inside mayo.
– xxgiiinaaxx
27. Blood
But only the blood that is outside of a body.
So, as soon as it leaves the body, it’s suddenly mayo. Imagine frantic scientists and doctors trying to explain that and ensuing panic of most people.
Then, cannibalism.
– Cyanide_Kitty_101
28. Magic spells
Somewhat unrelated, but dungeons and dragons has a magic item that can spawn various liquids.
Things like oil and acid, but for some inexplicable reason – Mayo.
I really want to hear the tales of all the heroes that saved the day with their never ending supply of Mayo.
– coniferous-1
29. Body hair
All that peach fuzz just a thin layer of mayo slime.
Now would it be there permanently or could you wipe it off? Or would it ‘regrow’ in place of hairs.
– pangeanpterodactyl
30. The sun
The mass will be there, and assuming this replacement doesn’t get rid of all the stored thermal energy you’ll have enough energy to at least support hydrogen fusion in the core, however mayo consists of a lot of organic compounds.
These compounds would quickly break up in the core, and the hydrogen would likely able to fuse, but the carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen will all be inert.
This will significantly shorten the stars lifespan, as this extremely large core of inert materials will form a dead core and push the star into its dying phases.
– danfay222
Honestly, you can just replace all the Miracle Whip in the universe with nothing cause that stuff has gotta go.
What would you do with this superpower?
Tell us in the comments.
