Well, this promises to be an interesting conversation.
Because people seem to get pretty fired up when they are presented with this question.
So let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about it!
1. Don’t want to pass it on.
“I have an explosive temper that is scary and though therapy has helped I never want to be in a place where it surfaces because of frustration and completely mess that kid up for life.
And I dont want to pass on whatever is in my head to my offspring and have them go through the torment of childhood with these mental illnesses.”
2. Yes.
“I like freedom and money.
And sleep and travel.”
3. Not interested.
“I simply just don’t feel the… drive? Call?
No idea how to call it.
I just don’t feel it’s something I want and that’s really that.”
4. Can’t think of a good reason.
“Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them.
Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them.”
5. What are the benefits?
“I have asked multiple people to tell me what are the benefits of having kids. I have yet to hear an actual benefit.
They are a time sink, money sink, freedom sink, peace of mind sink, and we have plenty of people already.
I even told my mom who wanted me to have kids, OK, we’ll have one but we’ll drop it off and you can take care of it (my wife and I both agreed to respond this way lol). My mother, who I love dearly, shut up right away.”
6. Here’s the story…
“I grew up as the oldest child in a household with 8 children (yes, we were 10 people at home including my parents).
My siblings see me more as a father than a brother, as I partook roles in raising almost every one of them (the two siblings who followed me, not so much as I was still 2, and 6 when they were born).
I fed my siblings, nursed them when they were sick, changed their nappies, cradled them to sleep, was waken up in the middle of the night to “open the lights of the toilet”, and when they grew older I helped them with home works, school projects, taught them how to ride a bike, and dealt with their teen problems while trying to deal with my own stuff. I mean, I had the whole parenting package which I never signed up for.
My father’s philosophy was raise 2 good kids and you’ll start a cycle where kids raise themselves basically while he focuses on getting money to feed us. You can argue the ethics of this practice, but I was a cog in this machine, and let me tell you… When I moved for uni people would guess my age to be 1.5-2 times what it was. Everyone was telling me “I was so mature for my age”, a phrase which some people think is a compliment but I absolutely despise.
And I was, and still am, bad with forming normal relationships. I’m 25 and I had one girlfriend who basically had daddy issues and saw me as a father figure more than a boyfriend which led to our breakup. The only close friend I have who can relate to me in a way is a Syrian guy who literally fled war, and was almost k**led twice in Syria. Most of my circle are people who are 5-10 years older than me.
Basically raising kids f**ked up my teen years and made me “the weird guy”. I have had enough kids for a lifetime…”
7. Endless reasons.
“I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money.
Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless.”
8. Sounds terrible.
“Why would I want one? I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible.
I barely feel like I have my s**t together, and I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do. Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid?
Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me.”
9. Can’t handle it.
“Kids are a lifelong commitment and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I won’t try.”
10. It would be irresponsible.
“Kids only deserve our best.
So if you aren’t able to financially, emotionally, etc, support your kid, you shouldn’t have a kid. If you aren’t 110% positive you want a kid, you shouldn’t have a kid. Because kids deserve our best. Not drug houses, unloving parents, a**se, or poverty. They deserve our best.
People often have kids to save a marriage, or “because it’s what you’re supposed to do”, or because they are coerced to, and I legitimately h**e that.
Since I’m not 110% positive I want kids, that means it would be extremely irresponsible of me to have kids. So I “don’t want kids”.”
11. No desire.
“I have back and hip issues that would have made carrying a child (and then also literally carrying a child) difficult. I like my free time and expendable income.
I didn’t feel like I was in a stable enough place financially, wasn’t with the right partner at the right time, never had baby fever.
I look around at the world, and have no desire to bring another life into this s**t show.”
12. Just being honest.
“I wouldn’t want to expose any child to my depression, anxiety or anger, and I have no desire to risk my unborn in the genetic lottery.
And I am single. I live comfortably as a single, but if you add a dependent or two we would be on struggle street.
Plus, I think I would be a real s**t mother.”
Why do you not want to have kids?
Tell us all about it in the comments.
Thanks in advance!
