I used to work at a coffee shop – it was my first job, actually. I was pretty lousy at it because I didn’t actually drink coffee myself (never much cared for the taste), so when people would ask for recommendations I was about as useful as a vegan at a deli.

Still, most of the customers were perfectly pleasant and understanding, but sometimes, just every once in a while, someone would come in with an absolutely wild and seemingly dangerous order.

I thought perhaps I was alone in this experience, but this wild Tumblr thread proves that I was not.

Prologue: A Joke

In which a user makes a joke and accidentally uncovers some real life strangeness.

Prologue: The Cryptid

Do such people exist? Yes, indeed, they do.

Chapter 1: Taste Means Nothing to Me

This is where things get truly bone-chilling.

Chapter 2: An Eldritch Being

When you show up to your day job and end up staring straight into the face of madness itself.

Chapter 3: Five Golden Dollars

The only thing we have to fear is this woman herself.

Chapter 4: The Others

They walk among us. They may never be known.

Epilogue: Fever Dreams

These are mysterious and powerful creatures and we must respect them.

For the record, I must recommend that you never drink anything like these concoctions unless you’re super excited about the idea of a heart attack.

What’s the strangest customer interaction you’ve ever had?

Tell us about it in the comments.