If you’re married, you know what’s up…and we’re about to break it down.
You love that person, you’d do just about anything for them, but…sometimes they drive you absolutely crazy.
But, hey, that’s life, right?
You know it!
So, in the spirit of being married, here are some funny tweets that we think you’ll like.
1. You shouldn’t have said that out loud.
Some things are better left unsaid.
My 4yo came up to me in a desperate voice and said “I don’t like babies or kids and I don’t want to get married.” So I replied “Same girl, same.” And now my kids and husband are mad at me.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) April 11, 2020
2. Yeah, that was his mistake.
He should have known better!
Well if my husband didn’t want me and the kids to keep stealing his sweatshirts, he shouldn’t have bought such comfortable sweatshirts.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) April 16, 2020
3. Do you think that thing is gonna start collecting dust right away?
It’s very possible…
My wife wants to get a treadmill and here was me thinking we had enough room on the kitchen table for our clothes.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) August 27, 2021
4. Doesn’t sound like a very good idea.
Tread very carefully, my friend…
Sometimes I see something funny on IG and want to send it to my wife but I can’t because then she’ll know I’m chilling and not working on that thing she asked me to do
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) September 16, 2021
5. That might not be a good sign.
Who are you, again?
15 years of marriage and last night I scared the living daylights out of my husband by getting into bed with him, so no you never really do get used to being married
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 19, 2021
6. He put these in the wrong place again!
You’re still messing up from beyond the grave.
[At my funeral]
*wife arranges throw pillows on my grave*
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) October 17, 2020
7. This is what I call REVENGE.
He’ll never mess with you again.
My husband made me mad so I stole his towel while he was in the shower and then set off the smoke detectors.
— Jawbreaker 🎃👻🍬 (@sixfootcandy) September 16, 2021
8. Ouch…that one kind of hurts, huh?
Sounds like you two could use a little couples counseling.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes. He hugged me 🤗
— supergirl (@vkrutika) August 8, 2021
10. You know her so well.
This is what true love looks like!
Wife: Do that thing I like.
Me: Okay. [leaves room]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 3, 2021
11. I don’t think you have a choice…
Just get dressed and go along for the ride.
“I’m going to the store. You can come if you want”
– my wife telling me I’m going to the store with her
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 20, 2018
12. This could go a few different ways.
It’s like a game of “Choose Your Own Adventure”!
Marriage is helping to fluff the pillows for the one you’re with, and debating smothering them with those pillows a couple times while you’re doing it.
— Mike (@Parentpains) September 15, 2021
13. Where the hell is that thing?!?!
Wow, it’s getting really HOT in here.
If I want my husband to run his hands up and down me in bed, I lie on the remote.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) January 11, 2020
Be honest with us…how’s your marriage going?
Give us the straight dope in the comments.
We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Don’t hold back now, friends!
Thanks a million!