Hello friend…
Hey, why the long face?
Let me take a guess…
Having troubles with your significant other?
Is a certain someone at work getting on your nerves?
Whatever the case, we’re gonna put an end to your unhappiness right this instant with some hilarious tweets.
Does that sound like a plan?
Let’s get it going!
1. This isn’t the best look I’ve ever seen.
Not gonna lie about it…
…I did not realize how much I apparently hate unfinished wood https://t.co/1V4rUWhzHL
— yes, really (@simonefiii) October 17, 2021
2. They weren’t buying that for a second.
Nice try, ma’am. We see the carrots in there.
Thinking about the time I drunkenly spilled an entire bowl of soup on my new macbook & then tried to tell the apple store it just broke out of nowhere & then the guy had to look me in the eye & say “we opened it up and there’s just…so much soup in here…like chunks of carrots..”
— Arianna Rebolini (@AriannaRebolini) October 17, 2021
3. Things move in quite a hurry there, huh?
It really is the city that never sleeps.
Living in nyc will have you like damn if i hadn’t taken that sip of water i could’ve caught the train
— Katherine ?? (@katkathykatto) October 18, 2021
4. I’d like to talk to the top therapist.
I wonder how much that person charges per hour…
obviously therapists go to other therapists. but who's at the very top? do they know everyone's secrets?
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 20, 2021
5. You know you’re getting takeout. Don’t even kid yourself.
What’s it gonna be? Chinese? Pizza? Tacos?
Me: I’m hungry
My fridge: I have lots of tasty food inside if you wanna cook somet—-
Me: not like that
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) October 21, 2021
6. Thank you, friendly ghost!
Too bad they have to write that message in blood though, kind of rude.
I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if each time a bloody message appeared on a wall it was something helpful like YOUR KEYS ARE IN THE FRONT DOOR.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 18, 2021
7. This is how long I’ve been a makeup artist.
Any other questions?
Clients: how long have you been a Makeup Artist?
Me: pic.twitter.com/LaQjQNNNyK
— “Spoiled Princess Brat” (@BRlANNARANEE) October 17, 2021
8. That is really terrifying, isn’t it?
I still haven’t watched this show yet…
Squid Game is so captivating because it’s about man’s greatest fear: being told to find a partner to team up with for a project
— Andrea More (@amore_orless) October 18, 2021
9. Just wandering around aimlessly for ten years.
I think this sounds pretty accurate.
being in your twenties is all about getting coffee and walking around
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) October 17, 2021
10. I refuse to apologize.
How dare you ask that of me!
I will not pic.twitter.com/8FwqeyL2So
— Rachel Sedai of the FFP2 Mask Ajah (@walshrac) October 17, 2021
11. Really putting in the work.
Keep it going, guys!
Sometimes during sex I get jealous of how many calories the guy is burning
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) October 16, 2021
12. Trying to heat up food in the microwave is an infuriating process.
Just put it back in for a few more minutes…
microwave: congratulations! your bowl is now piping hot
me: amazing! and the food too?
microwave: slow down there buddy
— trash jones (@jzux) October 16, 2021
13. Sorry for putting you through that…
You have to feel for that neighbor, don’t you think?
i just heard my neighbor crying which means unfortunately she could probably hear me singing monster mash in different voices
— pascalle (@pasxalle) October 18, 2021
How about you?
What are some of your favorite tweets?
Share some good ones with us in the comments! Thanks!
