Hello friend…

Hey, why the long face?

Let me take a guess…

Having troubles with your significant other?

Is a certain someone at work getting on your nerves?

Whatever the case, we’re gonna put an end to your unhappiness right this instant with some hilarious tweets.

Does that sound like a plan?

Let’s get it going!

1. This isn’t the best look I’ve ever seen.

Not gonna lie about it…

2. They weren’t buying that for a second.

Nice try, ma’am. We see the carrots in there.

3. Things move in quite a hurry there, huh?

It really is the city that never sleeps.

4. I’d like to talk to the top therapist.

I wonder how much that person charges per hour…


5. You know you’re getting takeout. Don’t even kid yourself.

What’s it gonna be? Chinese? Pizza? Tacos?

6. Thank you, friendly ghost!

Too bad they have to write that message in blood though, kind of rude.

7. This is how long I’ve been a makeup artist.

Any other questions?

8. That is really terrifying, isn’t it?

I still haven’t watched this show yet…

9. Just wandering around aimlessly for ten years.

I think this sounds pretty accurate.

10. I refuse to apologize.

How dare you ask that of me!

11. Really putting in the work. 

Keep it going, guys!


12. Trying to heat up food in the microwave is an infuriating process.

Just put it back in for a few more minutes…

13. Sorry for putting you through that…

You have to feel for that neighbor, don’t you think?


How about you?

What are some of your favorite tweets?

Share some good ones with us in the comments! Thanks!