I have a question for you…

What does your heart truly desire?

Wealth? Love? Power?

You know what? Forget about all of that stuff!

You want funny tweets, don’t you?

I knew it! Man, I’m good at this…

Well, now that we’ve established what you’re looking for, you can proceed and enjoy these hilarious tweets.

You’re welcome!

1. Over and over and over again.

Some people spend entire weekends doing this. YOU DO YOU.

2. This is what my weekend usually looks like.

Hey, it’s tiring to wake up and make that coffee.

3. Think that’ll happen again anytime soon?

I sure hope it does!


4. Everybody, it’s time for a group nap.

No, not all in the same bed!

5. Hahaha. Yes!

This is quite good.

6. The people of Haddonfield don’t seem too bright, do they?

You guys know that you can live somewhere else, right?

7. Oh, I thought you were talking about something else.

Still, it’s good to be positive!

8. I think there should be, too.

And don’t even talk about raisin bagels because I don’t play that game.

9. The first thing I’d do if I was rich is hire a private chef.

It’s gonna happen, right?

10. These things don’t seem to add up.

You might want to cut out the sugar part.


11. That sounds like a hot date.

I want one of these, too!

12. My main hobby in life is cheese.

There are just so many different kinds to enjoy!


Do you have some favorite tweets that make you laugh every single time?

If so, share them with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!