Marriages are funny. You commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life and then you spend a whole lot of time letting the other person drive you INSANE.
Hey, it’s a real hoot!
If you’ve tied the knot (maybe more than once), these tweets are really gonna speak to you…
1. I liked most of them.
2. He checked out.
3. Good point.
I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
— Jackie (@jackiembouvier) January 24, 2016
4. That was the one.
Graduation, marriage, childbirth… I’ve had a lot of significant moments in my life, but none have been as rewarding as that ONE time my wife said she couldn’t find something, and I found it.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) June 10, 2019
5. One or the other.
You can have sex with your wife tonight or you can talk to her about the credit card bill, but you cannot have both.
— Marriage And Martinis (@MarriageMartini) August 25, 2018
6. That’s hot.
Wife: What are you wearing?
Me: Just my underwear ?
Wife: So you still haven't done the laundry?
ME: No I have not
— Abam (@AdamBroud) April 22, 2016
7. That’s not good…
Whenever my wife asks me how many people I’ve slept with in my life I always avoid the question, mainly because it’s constantly changing. I don’t wanna tell her 30 now and in a few months it’s 38
— husbandsdontcheat (@hubbysdontcheat) March 10, 2020
8. Don’t do that again.
My husband told me I cheated on him in his dream.
The best response was not "Was he hot?”
I know this now.
— Marlantined (@Marlebean) September 7, 2019
9. Is this important?
Probably the worst thing to mention when you are in a fight with your wife is the video game you have paused in the other room.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2019
10. In a nutshell.
Some days I stop and give my husband a huge hug and tell him how much I love him. And some days I give him a cup of coffee, watch him take a few sips, and ask him if he’s starting to feel “funny” and if his life insurance is up-to-date. All depends on the day. That’s marriage.
— Marriage And Martinis (@MarriageMartini) August 20, 2018
11. Can’t listen to it anymore…
I kind of wish my spouse would get a side piece but only for talking endlessly about our home security system.
— ? Betty ? (@BoomBoomBetty) August 14, 2019
And there you have it!
Are you married? Or maybe you used to be married?
Tell us a funny/ridiculous/absurd thing about marriage that really sticks out to you in the comments!
We’d love to hear what you have to say!