I know a lot of people out there probably feel this way, but I NEED alone time.
It’s not something I appreciate when I get it every once in a while, it’s something I require in order to maintain my sanity.
I also don’t have a wife and kids, so it isn’t too hard for me to get some solitude.
But this situation is a little bit different…
Let’s see how people responded when a man asked folks on AskReddit if he’s weird for wanting his special alone time.
1. This kicked the discussion off.
“I’ve been married for 14 years. My wife thinks I’m weird cuz I always get up at 5:00 to read for two hours before the day starts.
Actually I don’t always read. I just enjoy these two hours alone before she and the kids wake up. That’s the only time alone I can get in my day. And I really like it.. But I’m starting to think it might be weird or a bad sign.
Like usually people love to spend time with their families. Any married people out there with thoughts on this?”
2. Not weird.
“I’ve been doing it for years.
Not weird at all.
Coffee, news, music, quiet time.”
3. Mom loved it.
“Growing up my mom always did this!
She is NOT a morning person. She just needed to sit quietly with some coffee and the newspaper for an hour while the house was still. Then by the time we got up she was in a good mood and ready for the day.
I never once thought it was weird, it always just seemed if anything overly considerate of us and self care/awareness for her.”
4. Everyone needs it.
“I wouldn’t say there is anything wrong with it at all.
Everyone needs time to themselves, just because you have a family doesn’t change that.
I finish work around midnight and I enjoy being able to come home and do my own thing for a couple of hours before going to sleep.”
5. See you later.
“Husband and I have what we call “alone time” every night for 2 hours after we put the kids to bed.
In essence he goes to the basement and I stay in the family room and we do our own things, watch our own shows and enjoy doing what we like without interruption.
Then on Saturday nights we have “date nights” where we binge watch our joint favorite shows together at night. A nice healthy balance that has worked for us!”
6. Staying sane.
“I even have my own room in the attic with my stuff.
A man cave, but I’m the wife and my husband controls the living room. It was a demand for a new home from both of us: I need my own room.
That is really not a normal thing in the Netherlands where homes are small. I do my crafts and such in it, I do have a painting set up for the kids, but they visit in my room and have to ask.
I also work to midnight and enjoy an hour alone in my own room at the end of it. And a few hours in weekends.
Today we are married nine years. Putting up your own boundaries to stay sane is very good marriage etiquette.”
7. Maybe you should try it…
“I’d like that. I like gaming and reading, but would prefer to do that near my SO like if she’s watching tv. But she doesn’t like the clicking. Sometimes I feel isolated in another room and miss the coziness.
I read in the same room, and that’s nice when I want to hang out but not ‘actively’, or watch boring period dramas….”
“I get up at 5am. And it’s so I have time alone before anyone else gets up.
The main reason is that I’ve set aside that time to game because if I game in the evening chances are I’ll get interrupted by a family pet needing to go out, a child needing something, a phone call, my wife needing something etc.
Being “on call” all the time doesn’t give me time to really relax and get into anything because I’m constantly listening out for issues. At 5am to 7am it’s quiet, no one is up, no one needs anything and I get that time to myself uninterrupted (most of the time).
I’m not slightly on edge waiting for the next call of “Daaaaaaad?” or the sound of a dog scratching the door etc.
I’m a much happier person because of this, it doesn’t hurt anyone so it’s win, win for everyone. Everyone needs down time. Don’t worry about it.”
9. Another take.
“Does this not seem really toxic and untrusting to anyone else?
My boyfriend usually stays up way past me playing video games and watching shows/movies I’m not into. I usually have 30 minutes to an hour of alone to do whatever I want when I get home from work before he he gets home from work. It’s nice to be able to unwind, just be silent and putter around for a bit without having to answer to anyone.
I’m sure sometimes my bf uses his alone time to look at p**n, and while that can sometimes make me feel insecure, that has more to do with the fact I’m not as hot as I was in my 20’s when we met.”
10. They don’t understand.
“Married wife and mom here. I do the same.
I need to start my day in peace and quiet. I’ll literally sit with my cup of coffee in the dark staring out the window.
My family doesn’t understand either.”
11. We all need time away.
“Here is the thing. Even when you love someone dearly, you need time away from them.
My father went from a 5 day workweek to a 4 day, with the free day being on a day my mother works. She was annoyed at it first, because ” Don’t you love me and want to spend time with me.” After thinking about it she understands. She likes having time just to herself as well.
They love each other dearly, go on walks at the end of each workday, having weekends away with just to two of them.
Just having some time to charge up and not having to deal with anybody’s s**t.”
12. Time to decompress.
“As an adult even with kids you need alone time where you can get it.
My mom always said she would never take a job without at least a half hour commute because it was time to unwind and decompress on way home.”
Do you think this behavior is weird?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
We’d love to hear from you!