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If you’re a parent, you’ll testify in open court that your children always behave, are always attentive, and you’ve never been mad at them in your life, right?
Let’s get real, people!
All the moms and dads out there are locked in a fierce battle for control over their households with those kids who seem innocent, but who are waging war against their own moms and dads (not to mention their siblings…).
BUT, that’s just part of the deal when you sign on to be a parent.
You’ll get lots of ups and downs, laughter and tears, and good and bad. But it’s all worth it!
So enjoy these hilarious and accurate tweets from moms and dads.
1. This is gonna be a good song!
I can’t wait to hear the whole thing!
Here’s a little song I wrote about doing the kids laundry it’s called “Why Are There Seashells in the Lint Trap We Don’t Even Live Near an Ocean” and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 17, 2020
2. Don’t encourage them!
This really isn’t helping.
My kids could fart and my father-in-law would be like, “Great job! Here’s five bucks.”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 20, 2020
3. What’s that sound?
Hard to tell these days…
A few years into being a parent you discover there is virtually zero difference between the sound of siblings happily playing together and the sound of siblings viciously trying to murder each other.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 20, 2020
4. Okay, maybe this isn’t a good idea.
Never mind about the independence thing.
One of the hardest parts of teaching your kids to be independent is watching them tie their shoes for 8 minutes.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 20, 2020
5. It’s all true.
They can’t wait to get out of that house.
This is evil but nothing makes me happier than knowing a super healthy chef-type person I follow on Instagram’s kids hate the healthy food at their house and binge Doritos when they visit their friends
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 20, 2020
6. They’re all out. Sorry.
Maybe next time…
I try be honest with my kids in all situations unless I hear the ice cream truck coming in which case the music means they’re all out of ice cream.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 21, 2020
7. That sounds…fun.
Good luck with that.
We are driving an hour away to a 9 AM appointment at a drive-thru exhibition called Jurassic Quest…….if this kid doesn’t take care of me in my old age I swear to god
— josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) August 16, 2020
8. Seriously. Stop complaining and start teaching.
Back in my day…
All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: now’s your chance to teach them cursive.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 18, 2020
9. You are right!
I see what you did there!
More like detachment parenting am I right?!?
— amil (@amil) August 16, 2020
10. What a moment!
Made your day.
I tracked 16’s phone to see if he was where he was supposed to be. He was not. So I called 16 and asked where he was. He named the place he was supposed to be. I said oh REALLY? And the sound of his sighing realization that technology is a real bitch literally made my whole day.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 18, 2020
11. This is very true.
And all moms know it.
Any jeans can be mom jeans if there’s random legos in the pockets.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 18, 2020
12. They need to get better at this game.
You’re not getting it!
My kids giving me a dare while playing truth or dare:
I dare you to drink a whole glass of water without taking a breath…well, you should take breath…just drink it in thirty seconds…and if you can’t, it’s ok, nothing happens!
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 18, 2020
13. It’s very time-consuming.
Just eat it already!
parenting is cooking food to a safe internal temperate and then waiting three hours until it cools back down to a temp my child can tolerate
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 15, 2020
Okay, moms and dads, now we want to hear from you.
Talk to us in the comments and let us know what your kiddos have been up to!
We want to hear all the dirt! Please and thank you!