Parents, we have a very important message for you today.
We know you’re busy, we know you’re stressed out, and we know that you need an occasional break from your partner and your kids.
And that’s where we come in!
We’re here to provide you with hilarious tweets that will make you forget about your own familial woes. You’ll forget one of the kids just puked on the carpet, that the dog is currently eating one of your shoes, and that your OTHER kid likes to draw all over the walls with the food you made them for dinner.
You need that, right?
So enjoy these tweets and allow yourself a little temporary relief, okay?
1. Boom. You showed her.
I bet she won’t try to do that again.
My kid tried to establish dominance by slamming her door, so I had to reestablish dominance by taking her door off its hinges. Kids, don’t play that game. Mom. Will. Win.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 6, 2021
2. This kid sounds pretty smart.
Keep your eye on this one.
9yo: sometimes it’s ok to swear
9yo: like when Mrs Weasley uses the b-word in the last Harry Potter book
9yo: but it wasn’t ok when Aunt Marge used it in the third book
Me: do you have a catalogue in your brain of all the times bitch was said in Harry Potter
9yo: … yes
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 5, 2021
3. Many parents are now giving thanks.
This is what the world needed.
The world: We need a moment of healing and unity
PBS: *cancels Caillou*
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 6, 2021
4. This got really ugly.
We’ll say a special prayer for you.
Yeah I’d like to hear about your problems but our internet dropped out for a solid 4 minutes while my 3 year old was watching his favourite show
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 7, 2021
5. It’s like he’s on repeat.
Well, isn’t that adorable?
My 3-year-old refuses to learn the alphabet. Since he has mastered the fact that N and O go together, he must have decided the other letters don't matter.
— A Bearer Of Dad News?? (@HomeWithPeanut) January 5, 2021
6. You did the right thing.
And the kids never need to know about this.
There was 15 Oreo cookies left, so to give each of my 4 children the same, I was forced to eat 11 of them.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 7, 2021
7. I am a robot.
This makes perfect sense in kid logic.
5 has been crying the past 2 nights because he said he hears a wind sound at night but we couldn't hear it. He was crying again earlier and he said he isn't crying cause of the sound but because he thinks he's a robot and we're human and can't hear it.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 5, 2021
8. Yeah, that doesn’t always work out.
Who came up with this phrase? We’d like to speak to them.
The person who coined the phrase “Like taking candy from a baby” obviously never tried taking shit from a baby
— Go Ask Your Dad (@_goaskyourdad_) January 5, 2021
9. That sounds pretty incredible to me.
One day you’ll understand.
Me: How was preschool?
5: We had to take TWO naps.
Her nightmare is my dream.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2021
10. I was not prepared for this!
Can we slow down here?!?!
Parenting isn't really a test, it's more an unrelenting series of pop quizzes that you had no clue were coming and are in no way prepared for.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 5, 2021
11. Many, many moons ago.
I saw it all, kids…
One minute you are young and carefree and the next minute your kids are asking for help with their history homework because you were alive in the nineteen hundreds.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 7, 2021
To all the parents out there…how are you holding up?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know what’s what.
Please and thank you!