Do people still use pick-up lines? Seriously, are those a real thing used in the real world? Or are they all just jokes?
I mean, these ones are definitely jokes. I think?
I dunno, Reddit. Teach me the ways of love.
1. We have the meats
D**n, boy. Are you Arby’s? Because nothing else in this airport is open, and I’m still oddly interested…
“I see you’re drinking 1 %. Is that because you think you’re fat? Because you’re not, you could be drinking whole if you wanted to.”
3. Yabba dabba doo
My name may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
4. Balancing act
“when I saw you walk by it was like I was at the atm…..I had to check my balance”
5. Name it
You like my name?
Then you should hear my phone number.
6. Paving the way
Someone said this to my best friend about 25 years ago and I still smile when I think about it:
“I’m like… a dirt road, and you’re like… paved”.
7. Trashy classy
“D**n girl you look like trash. Want me to take you out?”
8. Cover stories
Hey, if you need a ‘fake’ boyfriend for the night, just point at me and wave
If you need a real one for tomorrow, call me
9. Thank you for your service
Hey baby, you wanna play Army?
I’ll lay down and you can blow the h**l out of me.
10. Nothing personal
If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
11. Count on me
“Wanna count shoulders?”
(You then proceed to count yours, then the other persons. At four, you’ll have your arm around them.)
12. To the place where I belong
guy: country roooaaaaddd
girl: take me hooommme
guy: ok, if you insist
best pickup line i’ve ever seen
This one of mine has gotten mixed reviews:
Are you interested in physical labour that involves the extraction of minerals or metals from the earth?
Because I wanna make you mine.
I can’t feel my p**is!
15. Intergalactic planetary
Did you know that after tonight there will only be 7 planets left in the solar system?
Cause I’m gonna destroy Uranus.
16. Local news
Are you from Tennessee?
‘Cause you’re the only ten I see.
17. Oh, I see
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Cuz I can see myself in your pants
18. Wants and needs
“Got a boyfriend?”
19. To the breach
Did it hurt?
Did what hurt?
Did it hurt when you ascended from h**l and breached the earth’s crust?
20. Caught ya
“do you know what is different from a shower curtain to a toilet paper”
“so it was you”
21. Pump it up
“Are you lil pumps music? Cause I’ll NEVER play you.”
22. Playing my tune
“You like jazz? If so, you should see my sacksophone”
23. Combo breaker
You’re like a combo of cute and hot, like a cot.
I just wanna lay on top of you and be sore in the morning.
24. Food for thought
I have had surprising success with the following two
wanna get McDonald’s and f**k?
I believe we are what we eat and by tomorrow morning I intend to be you
25. Unnatural abilities
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? … Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying
26. Honest Abe
Hey girl, are you Abraham Lincoln?
Because you’re causing an uprising down south.
27. No bones about it
I saw someone say on here one time (not to me, in a pick up line post)
“Your bone structure gives my bone structure”.
That has lived in my head rent free ever since.
28. Spell it out
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d make sure I came after U.
29. You’re toast
D**n girl are you a toaster cuz I wanna take a bath w/ you
30. A good fit
Feel my shirt.
Want to know what it’s made of?
That got a date.
31. Hot coffee
Are you my pinky toe because I wanna bang you on my coffee table
32. Weight a minute
Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.
If I’m wrong, I’ll eat the difference
33. Park it
Girl, are you a parking ticket?
Cause you got FINE written all over you.
34. Pizza party
Wanna get pizza and f**k?
What? You don’t like pizza?
35. Do the math
I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to those curves
36. Drop ’em
You seem to have dropped something there…
Oh its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?
37. Heatin’ up
Hey girl are you a microwave?
38. Stud muffin
Are you looking for a STUD?
Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.
39. Now we’re cookin’
Are you a pan cuz im going to put my meat in you for about 30 seconds
40. Call a plumber
There’s an old sewage department saying: If you’ve got a nice drain pipe there’s no reason to hide it
41. Drink it in
Dips fingers in a glass of water and flicks a few drops towards prospective date
“I think we should go back to your place and get you out of these wet clothes”
42. It’s a trip
Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day?
Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out
43. No butts about it
“You’ve got something on your butt”.
44. Mirror, mirror
“Want to go watch a p**no together on my new flat-screen mirror?”
45. No scrubs
I was out in a work do once.
I saw a girl I knew and jokingly said “you scrub up well”.
It wasn’t the girl I knew at all, but a total stranger.
And we ended up leaving together!
46. Face the facts
Did you fall from heaven?
Because your face is f**ked up.
47. Nailed it
Is heaven missing an angel?
Cuz you’ve got nice cans.
48. Money, honey
If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?
49. D**ks out
Hey girl, are you the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo?
Because I want to drop a kid in you.
50. Look it up
“are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.”
51. Sweet nothings
“you know what looks good on you?”
52. Get a leg up
Do you know what my favorite word is? “Legs”, do you want to help me spread the word
53. Legit leggy
I love the way your legs make an a** of themselves
54. hard and fast
Do you know the difference between a Ferrari and a hard on?… I don’t have a Ferrari
55. A catch thiiiiis big
My friend once said
“girl you’re like a prize bass. I don’t know if I should eat you or mount you!”
56. Getting colder
Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice.
57. The steaks are high
“Da** girl, are you a steak? Cause I’d eat your tenderloin.”
58. Indecent proposal
“Would you have s** with a stranger for $10 million?
(Hopefully they say yes).
Well now that we have established you are willing to prostitute yourself, what can I get for $5?”
59. Blown away
Did you fart
Cause you blew me away.
60. Morning glory
When picking up a random woman:
“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?”
61. Saving face
Mask mandate pick up lines.
“Hey baby. I wanna share my whole face with you”
62. Stuck on you
Girl, you’re like gorilla glue.
I can’t get you out of my head.
63. When life gives you limes…
How to flirt
1: get a bunch of limes
2: accidentally drop them in front of your crush
3: try several times unsuccessfully to pick them up
4: say “sorry, I’m really bad at pick up limes”
64. I’m fine
“How are you?”
“Good, but clearly not as fine as you.”
65. Dead media
Do you like tapes and CDs?
Then let me tape my d**k to your forehead so you can CDs balls
66. It’s because I’m so in love
I don’t like sand.
It’s course, rough and irritating.
And it gets everywhere
67. It adds up
I’m sin2 theta you’re cos2 theta, together we’re one
I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves
68. Do the creep
If I can guess your address will you go out with me?
69. Just breathe
It’s a good thing I brought my inhaler cuz you got that a**, ma.
70. They’re everywhere
“I’m calling you about your cars extended warranty, we’d like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o’clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.”
Seriously like…you’re not really using those.
Tell me if you are in the comments. I genuinely need to know.