People Share 70 Pick-Up Lines That Are So Bad, They’re Good

Do people still use pick-up lines? Seriously, are those a real thing used in the real world? Or are they all just jokes?

I mean, these ones are definitely jokes. I think?

What’s a pickup line so bad it’s awesome?
by inAskReddit

I dunno, Reddit. Teach me the ways of love.

1. We have the meats

D**n, boy. Are you Arby’s? Because nothing else in this airport is open, and I’m still oddly interested…

– rumpelsKILLskin

2. Dynamite

“I see you’re drinking 1 %. Is that because you think you’re fat? Because you’re not, you could be drinking whole if you wanted to.”


– beddyby12

3. Yabba dabba doo

My name may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

– RuneSwoggle

4. Balancing act

“when I saw you walk by it was like I was at the atm…..I had to check my balance”

– triggeranimal

5. Name it

You like my name?

Then you should hear my phone number.

– SuperJF45

6. Paving the way

Someone said this to my best friend about 25 years ago and I still smile when I think about it:

“I’m like… a dirt road, and you’re like… paved”.

– knockoutroundtwo

7. Trashy classy

“D**n girl you look like trash. Want me to take you out?”

– manny00778

8. Cover stories

Hey, if you need a ‘fake’ boyfriend for the night, just point at me and wave

If you need a real one for tomorrow, call me

– Vantahate

9. Thank you for your service

Hey baby, you wanna play Army?

I’ll lay down and you can blow the h**l out of me.

– ItsMyView

10. Nothing personal

If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

– stinkpalm

11. Count on me

“Wanna count shoulders?”

(You then proceed to count yours, then the other persons. At four, you’ll have your arm around them.)

– Starfall669

12. To the place where I belong

guy: country roooaaaaddd

girl: take me hooommme

guy: ok, if you insist

best pickup line i’ve ever seen

– FapuccinoWithCream

13. Minecraft

This one of mine has gotten mixed reviews:

Are you interested in physical labour that involves the extraction of minerals or metals from the earth?

Because I wanna make you mine.

– SendMeSpuds

14. Feelin’

I can’t feel my p**is!

Can you?

– Ecstatic_Literature1

15. Intergalactic planetary

Did you know that after tonight there will only be 7 planets left in the solar system?

Cause I’m gonna destroy Uranus.

– nokittythatsmypie

16. Local news

Are you from Tennessee?

‘Cause you’re the only ten I see.

– jeff_the_nurse

17. Oh, I see

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Cuz I can see myself in your pants

– DannyShah05

18. Wants and needs

“Got a boyfriend?”

Girl: “no”

“Want one?”

– Render_21

19. To the breach

Did it hurt?

Did what hurt?

Did it hurt when you ascended from h**l and breached the earth’s crust?

– captainkunkka604

20. Caught ya

“do you know what is different from a shower curtain to a toilet paper”


“so it was you”

– kingzmen909

21. Pump it up

“Are you lil pumps music? Cause I’ll NEVER play you.”

– bruhno293

22. Playing my tune

“You like jazz? If so, you should see my sacksophone”

– custardjongen

23. Combo breaker

You’re like a combo of cute and hot, like a cot.

I just wanna lay on top of you and be sore in the morning.

– bigfoot343

24. Food for thought

I have had surprising success with the following two

wanna get McDonald’s and f**k?

I believe we are what we eat and by tomorrow morning I intend to be you

– Askdrillsarge

25. Unnatural abilities

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? … Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying

– Jeffatron123

26. Honest Abe

Hey girl, are you Abraham Lincoln?

Because you’re causing an uprising down south.

– That1Niftyguy

27. No bones about it

I saw someone say on here one time (not to me, in a pick up line post)

“Your bone structure gives my bone structure”.

That has lived in my head rent free ever since.

– shartnado3

28. Spell it out

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d make sure I came after U.

– myonkin

29. You’re toast

D**n girl are you a toaster cuz I wanna take a bath w/ you

– Captan-Seahawks

30. A good fit

Feel my shirt.

Want to know what it’s made of?

Boyfriend material.

That got a date.

– leese216

31. Hot coffee

Are you my pinky toe because I wanna bang you on my coffee table

– dangerburns880

32. Weight a minute

Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

If I’m wrong, I’ll eat the difference

– dangerburns880

33. Park it

Girl, are you a parking ticket?

Cause you got FINE written all over you.

– -Quagmire

34. Pizza party

Wanna get pizza and f**k?

​What? You don’t like pizza?

– kU5mFDpzv6rpY3pQ

35. Do the math

I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to those curves

– jaws3227

36. Drop ’em

You seem to have dropped something there…

Oh its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?

– Smiles_will_help

37. Heatin’ up

Hey girl are you a microwave?

Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

– Birthday-Specialist

38. Stud muffin

Are you looking for a STUD?

Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.

– AGH8

39. Now we’re cookin’

Are you a pan cuz im going to put my meat in you for about 30 seconds

– FlameMane87

40. Call a plumber

There’s an old sewage department saying: If you’ve got a nice drain pipe there’s no reason to hide it

– Swackhammer_

41. Drink it in

Dips fingers in a glass of water and flicks a few drops towards prospective date

“I think we should go back to your place and get you out of these wet clothes”

– cruiserman_80

42. It’s a trip

Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day?

Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out

– dangerburns880

43. No butts about it

“You’ve got something on your butt”.


“My eyes”.

– Khenghis_Ghan

44. Mirror, mirror

“Want to go watch a p**no together on my new flat-screen mirror?”

– kaosi_schain

45. No scrubs

I was out in a work do once.

I saw a girl I knew and jokingly said “you scrub up well”.

It wasn’t the girl I knew at all, but a total stranger.

And we ended up leaving together!

– The-Go-Kid

46. Face the facts

Did you fall from heaven?

Because your face is f**ked up.

– ChrisNEPhilly

47. Nailed it

Is heaven missing an angel?

Cuz you’ve got nice cans.

– gavreaux

48. Money, honey

If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?

– T**tysprinkles29

49. D**ks out

Hey girl, are you the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo?

Because I want to drop a kid in you.

– Mythopoeist

50. Look it up

“are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.”

– triggeranimal

51. Sweet nothings

“you know what looks good on you?”


– snowflakeshwa

52. Get a leg up

Do you know what my favorite word is? “Legs”, do you want to help me spread the word

– diablo2488

53. Legit leggy

I love the way your legs make an a** of themselves

– Citizen_31415

54. hard and fast

Do you know the difference between a Ferrari and a hard on?… I don’t have a Ferrari

– bionikchkn

55. A catch thiiiiis big

My friend once said

“girl you’re like a prize bass. I don’t know if I should eat you or mount you!”

– Mullet1983

56. Getting colder

Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs?

Enough to break the ice.

– Nuffsaid98

57. The steaks are high

“Da** girl, are you a steak? Cause I’d eat your tenderloin.”

– Lichsenate

58. Indecent proposal

“Would you have s** with a stranger for $10 million?

(Hopefully they say yes).

Well now that we have established you are willing to prostitute yourself, what can I get for $5?”

– Aubear11885

59. Blown away

Did you fart

Cause you blew me away.

– gorillahands2006

60. Morning glory

When picking up a random woman:

“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?”

– Dankman

61. Saving face

Mask mandate pick up lines.

“Hey baby. I wanna share my whole face with you”

– draivaden

62. Stuck on you

Girl, you’re like gorilla glue.

I can’t get you out of my head.

– muerte626

63. When life gives you limes…

How to flirt

1: get a bunch of limes

2: accidentally drop them in front of your crush

3: try several times unsuccessfully to pick them up

4: say “sorry, I’m really bad at pick up limes”

5: success

– pioneerlegend

64. I’m fine

“How are you?”

“Good, but clearly not as fine as you.”

– theJourneyEnds

65. Dead media

Do you like tapes and CDs?

Then let me tape my d**k to your forehead so you can CDs balls

– iDavidC96

66. It’s because I’m so in love

I don’t like sand.

It’s course, rough and irritating.

And it gets everywhere

– Alanitzio

67. It adds up

I’m sin2 theta you’re cos2 theta, together we’re one

I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves

– Perfect_Pen_1793

68. Do the creep

If I can guess your address will you go out with me?

– bagelport

69. Just breathe

It’s a good thing I brought my inhaler cuz you got that a**, ma.

– No_Disk3484

70. They’re everywhere

“I’m calling you about your cars extended warranty, we’d like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o’clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.”

– high-im-stupid

Seriously like…you’re not really using those.

…are you?

Tell me if you are in the comments. I genuinely need to know.