You know what everybody has in common? A mom. Yes, we all had to be born, so there’s no getting out of this bit of human unity.
So we all can show a little love for how weirdly funny and strange and beautiful their personalities can be.
This AskReddit finds people sharing all the quirky, wonderful stuff that they do… and we’re here for them all.
Love you moms!
1. How mom phone works
“Mom 1 min ago: “Where are you??”
Mom 2 min ago: “Why aren’t you picking up my calls?”
Mom 3 min ago: “You are normally home at 5:32pm on the dot, it is 5:33pm, are you home? Where are you?”
Then you call her back less than a minute after the last call/text and she doesn’t.”
2. Bathroom breaks
“Be sure to use the bathroom before you go anywhere. You never know when you’re going to find the next one.
I live 2 minutes from work and still use the bathroom before I leave.”
3. What’s an expert?
“Hearing a ‘fact’ from an ‘expert’ on the news once and believing it forever.
i.e. My mom still thinks I should be getting nine hours and fifteen minutes of sleep after hearing that figure on the Today Show over a decade ago.”
4. Clean angry!
“Vacuuming when they’re angry.
So everyone knows they’re angry and everyone is super uncomfortable.
It’s loud and scary and I just want to die.”
5. Strong AF
“Moms are freakishly strong when they need to be.
I remember my wife running away from a pissed off skunk, one kid in each arm.”
6. That “Stop Short” Move
“While driving with you in the passenger seat they throw their arm across you if they have to hit the brakes.
Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode and the “Stop Short” move that Kramer mistakenly pulls on George’s mom.
Wait, what were we talking about?”
7. Hey kids… STAPH!
“Tom! Dave! Brad!
8. Temperature check!
“Temp might get down into the 70s.
“Make sure you bring a jacket”
Transklation = A jacket is what you wear when your mother is cold.”
9. Dishes and bishes
“My mom would angrily wash the dishes.
All you would hear was slamming cutlery.
It was terrifying.”
“OMG A NATURAL DISASTER/MURDER/MAJOR CRIME HAPPENED IN A COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT ONE DAY.
YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER GO THERE.
11. That finger dexterity
“Texting with 1 finger whilst holding the phone entirely in the palm of their other hand.”
12. Personality shift
“Mom screaming at the kids.
Total personality shift!
The caller would never believe we were fearing for our lives .03 seconds ago!”
13. Super spreader
“Licked her fingers to straighten out your eye brows/stray hair/etc.
Gross mom! That’s how you spread germs.”
14. Get hydrated, kid!
“Me: (describes some type of physical ailment)
Mom: “How much water have you drank today?”
She does this every time.”
15. Da best!
“Mom knows why you hate that bi**h Shelby from high school.
So she goes out of her way to casually let you know that last Thursday she saw Shelby at the gym, and has she gotten fat.
Love you, Mom.”
Those are some seriously funny mom moments, right?
Have any that you want to share?
Let us know in the comments!