I guess I’m what some people might call a “spaz”, but having a really simple job where you don’t have to do much and the time creeps by slowly just isn’t my cup of tea.
Sure, I’ve had some jobs like that before, but each day felt like an eternity and it’s just not my thing.
I like to be busy and challenged.
But there are a whole lot of people out there who just want the easiest job possible.
Folks on AskReddit discussed what they think are the best jobs for all the lazy people out there.
1. Just chillin’.
“Security guard watching schools at night.
You just sit there, doing nothing. I chose to study, so I got paid while studying all night during my university years.
Amazing to get like $15 per hour for studying…”
2. Time for a snooze.
“Work for NY or PA on a road crew.
They literally do nothing.
I’ve seen them put cones up on the side of a highway so that they could park there and sleep.”
3. A free room, too!
“Storage Facility Manager.
Most of the time it’s doing regular house chores for the first couple hours, then watching or listening to whatever you want until somebody shows up.
As an added benefit a lot of locations will give you a place to live for free, where I am at the people across the street pay $2,500 – $3,000/mo for an apartment of similar size.”
“Lifeguard in a senior community.
My friend had that job in high school. Most of the time you just have old people who come in the pool and stand there and socialize.
Sure sometimes they come in to swim a few laps or they bring their grandkids, but most of the time, my friend just sat there and read books because there was nothing going on.”
5. Sounds great!
“College / University Financial Aid Officer.
These are truly the slowest, laziest, and most inept people there have ever been.”
6. You got it made.
“Mine. I sit around all day waiting to “assist” administrators that aren’t even on campus (Covid-19).
Even when they are on campus, they barely need more than maybe 5-10 minutes of my time, and long term projects can be completed in about an hour (which they think will somehow take me days or even weeks to finish. I don’t correct them.)
The rest of my time is spent either browsing Reddit, Youtube, or learning things and picking up new hobbies. I’ve gotten better at drawing and programming while working here for the past 5 years. But it’s getting to the point where I want to switch gears and find a career that is more hands on and active (sitting is the new smoking, after all.)
So yes, this job is for the laziest of people. Admin Assistant.”
7. No fire…yet…
“Fire watch on a construction site.
Literally a guy sitting around watching for fires, if theres a fire, hes supposed to alert everyone by yelling.”
8. Graveyard shift.
“I worked graveyard at a gas station.
So boring. I had to clean the bathrooms and otherwise I just sat at the register reading a book selling scratch tickets to truck drivers.
The boss didn’t care that I did nothing because the guy I replaced was high AF and his register was always missing money.”
9. Like being retired.
I was a butcher for twenty five years. Now I drive trucks. It is like being retired. I have been driving for ten years now. It just gets easier.
The only hard thing is listening to whining truck drivers. If you are lazy I strongly recommend becoming a truck driver.”
10. Let’s do this.
“Online English tutors.
I wake up work for 5 hrs and then have the rest of the day to myself. I just roll out of bed, throw on a clean shirt and plop myself in front of my laptop.
I just have to read off a PowerPoint and don’t need to make any lesson plans. I’m basically the English Dora the Explorer for Chinese kids.”
11. Time to mow the dirt.
“I want to say council worker contracted for public garden maintenance and parks in lower economic areas.
The guy around my area uses a ride-on mower….. the local park has no grass.
He comes out, poisons everything that grows. Then comes back to mow the dirt.”
No really. It’s a hard grind for a few years and requires a college degree, but if you can work through your classes, here are the following things that will happen to you, almost without exception:
1 – you will be sought out by 20-30 insurance companies, offering you the same basic package based on where you live. In general, the offer includes a salary 3-4 times the local average, a 401(k) contribution plan with a very generous match, an HSA contribution plan, also with a generous match, free life insurance, discounted health insurance, etc.
Additionally, a guaranteed bonus of a certain percentage of your salary every year, guaranteed advancement for the first few years, and incremental “merit” increases for every exam you pass and every year after a performance review, probably around 3% every year and 5%-10% for every exam.
2 – Once you accept the job, you will have all of your exams and study courses paid for by the company. The company will also guarantee you study time during work hours and many offer free or discounted private tutoring for those exams also during work hours. You will be moved around four or five times within the company so you “get your seasoning,” as it were.
3 – You will take exams, for free. If you fail, you will have to take them again, but if you pass, you continue on.
4 – after you finish your exams, usually by about 4 years in, you’re an actuary and your dues to the ASA are all paid for, plus you get to put like 50 letters after your name. The company will give you any job you want at your same level (most of the time, you’re now a “consultant” or some other corporate buzz word. This is to differentiate you from the rest of your peers).
5 – You will train on your selected job and realize that all the math courses you took are pretty much worthless. Why? Well, because, the insurance companies built software to do all of your work for you. All you have to do is review all the numbers of a few reports every month and send it off. You can delay for basically as long as you want, you’ll never get in trouble.
You missed a deadline? Oh, no, that’s no good. I guess you’ll have to get to it as soon as possible, right after you go out to eat with my team for the 4th time this week, all on company dime, since management wants you to meet so and so who does such and such for the company and is really important.
And, since this is a business luncheon, you’re going to be unavailable until at least 3:00, which means you might as well just go home early. Who’s going to stop you? Other actuaries leaving early? Your manager leaving early? Their manager leaving early?
6 – Oh, and by the way, you have a conference in Colorado in January. Well, d*mn, that sucks. Since it’s all the way out there, you might as well take a few days. It’s a two day conference but its not every day you’re out there.
And besides, lodging and food is all paid for by the company card, may as well make it 3 nights to “get the most out of the conference.” And you’ll take a day out of your hilariously large PTO balance of 30 days (accrued at a pace of 21 days a year from the get-go) and go skiing, because that’s what the rest of your team wants to do.
7 – Also, by now you’re making 6-7 times the local average in payroll, have maxed your 401(k) and HSA contributions, and just bought a house 4 times the average size in the US and you really don’t know what you’re going to do with all your money you’ve amassed (it’s a lot. Remember when your parents said $1,000 was a lot? Yeah, $1,000.
Ooh! Buy a car! A nice one. No, not a sports car, that’s stupid. Sports cars go fast, but they’re not really luxurious. You buy a Tesla. The best available. And then maybe buy a BWM or Mercedes or something with what you have left. It’s been about 6-7 years with the same company, it’s starting to get a little monotonous…and that competitor is offering a job above your job, that will effectively double your salary but include less work. Maybe you should apply. You may not have the experience, but you have 8 letters after your name and most of your peers only have 2 or 3.
Yes, it’s a lot of work to start, but you basically have the easiest career path of all time ahead of you with almost unlimited resources and benefits. All you have to do is show-up a few days a week and sit around talking, looking up articles on Wikipedia, watching videos on Youtube, printing out coloring pages and coloring, if that’s your thing, or reading ESPN articles, if that’s your thing, participating in the off and on phone call meeting, and answer a few emails every day. You’ll work maybe 1-2 full days a month, the rest is just the time it takes to get to the next 1-2 working days.
Oh, you think you’ll be fired? You’re an actuary. You don’t “get” fired or laid off. You get “promoted” or “job placed” because if you really don’t have a ton to do and still get all your work done, you must be a genius and we need to get you into a better job so we can leverage that genius!”
What do you think are the best jobs for lazy people?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!