Think kids suck up your sense of humor? Not for Ryan Reynolds. If anything, being a dad to three daughters has only made him more funny. And he loves to (over) share on Twitter about his every thought and feeling on his role in the family.
Here are 15 of Reynolds’ hilarious, and often totally inappropriate, tweets on fatherhood.
1. Gee Ryan, reading Goodnight Moon to her works too.
I'm teaching my daughter that the sun goes down each night because it's mad at her. Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 5, 2015
2. That’s why she blows spit bubbles at you.
Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2015
3. Chill dad, she can only improve.
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
4. Babies only want the keys, not the whole car.
Totally caved and tossed my daughter the keys to the car. She looked really happy as they bounced off her tiny infant face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 12, 2016
5. Those are pricey.
The mobile above my daughter's crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 20, 2016
6. Five bucks, a baby…it’s the simple things.
Nothing better than the simple joys of finding 5 bucks in an old pair of pants, or discovering my wife and I had a second daughter over a year ago.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 24, 2018
7. He probably has dozens of those little black masks.
LOVE dressing my daughter in baby clothes. The itsy-bitsy pink pajamas. The tiny white socks. The black leather mask. Cuteness overload!
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 13, 2015
8. As babies do…
Put the baby down in her crib tonight. She scrunched her nose so cute, giggled, then turned into thousands of bats.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 10, 2016
9. Mistakes happen.
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016
10. Never too early to mess them up.
Healthy Parenting Tip No. 34: Get the child into showbiz as soon as possible.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 1, 2016
11. Root canals come to mind.
What's better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 2, 2016
12. Morning diapers are brutal.
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 14, 2016
13. A+ for Reynolds
Nah. Nailed it. https://t.co/es6VTCv4cF
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 8, 2016
14. He likes to make up his own nursery rhymes.
Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughter. Her favorites are, "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 11, 2015
15. Unforgiveable, if not totally made up.
My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017
Ryan Reynolds is one, ahem, dad alright. If there was a Golden Globe for fatherhood, I bet they’d let him see it.
All kidding aside, I’m imagining there’s never a dull moment when Ryan Reynolds is your father. He takes Dad Jokes to another level and we parents are thankful for the laughs.
Let us know your fave tweet in the comments!