Kids literally say the darndest things! Their innocence and precocious nature can drop a parent to the floor laughing.

These 12 tweets will have you crying with savage delight and brighten your inner child soul!

12. Chance the Rapper would be proud

I think these lyrics will revolutionize the rapping raps!


11. The ugly truth? Or the bitter lies?

Probably both, right?

10. This girl knows her worth



9. I’m not crying, you’re crying

Okay, we’re both crying? Is that how this works?

8. Lentils down!

I would pay good money to see a kid do this. Because we’ve ALL wanted to do this.

7. Oh, crap

You meant the adorable kind of Pooh. Got it.

6. A little more training, dad

It really does make a difference in how much you love the kids.

5. Say, wha??

This is a surprisingly accurate statement, tho!


4. Dracula lives in us all

She’s not wrong, though!

3. Inquiring minds need to know!

How does she afford the membership?

2. Ther-MOM-eter

Oh… your son dragged you GOOD.

1. Jackets make potatoes too hot, dear

I mean, this is really an accurate depiction of potatoes, though.


Gotta love the innocence in these tweets! I wish I never lost that wit. But, alas, we all grow up and those hilarious thoughts of our youth turns into real thoughts about money and responsibility.

And so the cycle continues. Endlessly. Forever.

But hey… enough about the stunning drudgery that is life… let’s talk about comedy!

What about your kiddos? Share your best kid stories in the comments!