This is just my opinion, but I think this is a great idea.
There are SO MANY older people out there who have no family remaining and they live incredibly lonely lives.
So why not take them into your family as if they were your own?
Folks on AskReddit talked about whether they think “adopting” elderly people who don’t have any family left is a good idea.
Let’s see what they had to say.
1. Great idea.
“I think it’s lovely!
Majority of my parent’s friends are childfree and I’ve done something similar. I visit a lot of them and send them packages.
It’s always nice to have more great people in your life.”
“My Japanese grandfather was adopted by a childless elderly couple at the age of 27.
This was a way to continue their family line (and pass down the family business). I visited his mother (but not his birth-age 27! Mother) as a child. He took care of his parents in their old age, and the business is now 120 years old. Apparently this is/was a fairly common practice.
My mom did not understand why I thought this was unusual at. all. I should also mention that he changed his name and lived as their son until he died.”
3. There’s this…
“Nothing wrong with helping or contributing to their well-being, but I doubt anyone would take on the legal responsibilities, such as medical costs, housing costs, etc.”
4. What’s in it for me?
“Most people would only consider an “adoption” of elders if there was some kind of benefit in it for them.
Most likely inheriting the elder’s property when they died. And in that case you’d get a lot of selfish people seeking out old people with assets and just doing the bare minimum for them.
Even regular child adoption is mostly motivated by self-interest. People who adopt tend to want a child and can’t get a child any other way.”
5. You did a good thing.
“We had elderly neighbors who’s son didn’t really care for so my mother did.
We called then grandma and grandpa and I hope we made their last years a bit better.”
“My town actually has an “adopt a grandparent” program at some of the nursing homes.
They made up profiles with their interests and what they liked to talk about so you could “choose a grandparent” you’d get along with well.”
“You could be walking into a molester incester situation.
Sadly, unless you find out the reason from the kids, you may never know…”
8. Love her to pieces.
“I have an adopted grandma.
She plays bingo at the club where i used to work and decided I was family and started calling herself my adopted grandmother.
I love her to pieces.”
9. Be wary.
“Be wary. I avoid my biological grand dad on my mom’s side because he is a child molester and violent abuser.
Everyone who knows him says he is amazing and even my uncle (bio grand dads oldest son, who lived through and saw all the abuse he and his siblings went through.) defended him tooth and nail until he r*ped his son at 7 years old.
Be careful. Terrible, abusive, and manipulative people are amazing at hiding their true colors. If the kids refuse to even answer phone calls there is probably a reason. It’s possible that the kids are f*cked up, but it’s more likely that the parents are.
Children are born with an innate desire to love their parents so a child avoiding parents just seems bad to me.”
“They shouldn’t take on those legal responsibilities. Elderly people are at high risk of financial abuse and elder abuse.
I think programs where you spend time with older people who are lonely are a great idea, but random people shouldn’t “volunteer” to take on legal responsibilities of vulnerable people.
That’s what state trustees and guardianship is for (in Australia, could be different in other countries).”
11. She loves it…
“My next door neighbor is 90. Very active for 90. Would have never guessed she was 90. She lives alone.
We actually bought our house from her niece and nephew, as they were moving closer to their grandchildren. She never had children. My children (5 and 2) call her Granny and she loves it.
Tells us all the time how much we have blessed her by being her neighbor and she got so much joy playing with our children. My girls love her so much. I think it’s a great idea!!”
12. Speaking from experience.
“My church did this when I was a kid, and I loved my adopted grandma. She was awesome.
She was going to teach me how to play dominoes, but never got to it. We went to visit her one day, and found out she had passed. To this day, I’ve just…not learned to play dominoes.
Because she was going to teach me, and I don’t want to learn from someone else. I know it’s weird.”
Do you think this is a good idea?
Talk to us in the comments and share your thoughts.
We look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!