Have you ever struggled with low self-esteem?
Felt like nothing you ever did was good enough no matter how hard you tried over and over again?
We’ve all been there at one point or another.
But how do you get out of it?
AskReddit users offered up advice for people who are struggling with low self-esteem.
Let’s take a look.
1. Good point.
“If people turn to look at you and that makes you anxious about what you’re doing or wearing, it helps to remind yourself that humans just have the habit of looking at whatever moves around them.
So if you walk into a class or a shop or whatever, and people turn to look at you, that’s almost definitely an instinctual thing, and they’re most likely not even thinking about you.
I don’t know if this is a common problem, but this particular anxiety was one I really struggled with during school.”
2. Two things.
“Two things that I actually learned from my self-assured best friend when I finally admitted my self-esteem issues:
“Anybody looking at you and judging you closely enough to care about [whatever it is I’m insecure about physically or even behaviorally] has a serious problem that’s way beyond anything you’re worried about.”
“Would you ever talk to me (my best friend) like that, even if I had/did [whatever I am self-conscious about]? Then why on earth do you think I’d be ok with my best friend talking to herself that way? Be your own best friend too”.”
3. Don’t listen to them.
“The vast majority of institutions and traditions in this world that claim to give you worth are valuing you not by who you are, or by what you can do but by how much they can exploit you for the benefit of others. Do not listen to these people.
The universe is devoid of any worth that we ourselves do not ascribe to it. Just by being a person with eyes to see and a mind to wonder gives each and every life meaning.
Recognize that in yourself and those who are valuing you, not by who you are, but by what you can do for them, lose the power to convince yourself that they are right.”
4. Get moving.
“Physical exercise is important.
Not because it makes you look good but because your heart rate will rise, so you blood circulation will rise, delivering oxygen and nice endorphins to your brain.
If you live a sedentary lifestyle then going for a walk can be a great pick-me-up for the brain. Regular low-level exercize like taking walks can build good foundations for good general mental health.”
5. Take care of yourself.
“There will be days when you aren’t getting out of your pjs (that’s a form of self-care too).
But wash your face, give your teeth a good cleaning, and maybe see if you’re inspired to throw on some mascara and deodorant. These small acts remind you that you’re worth taking the few minutes to feel a little more fresh and human than that slug that rolled outa bed two hours ago.
Again, lazy days are self-care…. but you can still make yourself feel a bit more worthy with 3-5 mins basic grooming.”
6. Listen up.
“As someone who struggles with poor self-esteem myself, I want to tell every other person with the same problem.
“You’ve done well, I wish I could be more like You; anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Because, honestly, It’s hard. It’s Not Easy, It never was. This is why You deserve all the appreciation in the world for being able to go on with your life even when, deep down inside, you feel like you’re a waste of space; when you wake up in the morning feeling like absolute trash, but you STILL KEEP GOING. Hats off, truly.
I’m just a stranger on the Internet, and even I think that You’re a great person I don’t even know you, But I love you anyway. Keep Smiling. Always. You DESERVE to be happy.”
7. Never underestimate yourself.
“There’s a saying in Puerto Rico that goes “para los gusto’s los colores”as in everyone has their own preference so basically they will ALWAYS be someone who will find you attractive NEVER underestimate yourself.”
8. It’s a process.
“It’s okay to not be who you want to be yet. It’s not something that will happen overnight.
In the meantime it’s okay to rest and take care of yourself.
You deserve it.”
9. Take it to heart.
“A quote I wished I learned many years ago is “It’s none of your business what other people think about you.” and I believe that to be true.
Who cares what other people’s opinions of you are.
Unless you are hurting someone or being a jerk on purpose, then let them think what they want!”
“Talk to someone.
I don’t like these posts: fake it until you make it. That invalidates your feelings and doesn’t build self-esteem.
I prefer the posts that say: work out, set a goal. This will help with low self-esteem.”
“I struggle with anxiety and depression. Anxiety tells me that everyone h**es me and depression tells me that they should. My therapist has told me several things that have helped:
Fake it ’till you make it – really does help. It feels like bulls**t at first, but the longer you do it, the more normal it becomes and, at some point, it becomes habit. Pretend to like yourself, and you might actually find out that you do.
It’s okay to have a down day where you just can’t function. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just don’t let me a down week. But if you spend all day curled up in bed one day next week, it’s not the end of the world. It’s recharging! Don’t feel guilty.
You don’t have to enjoy it, but you do have to do it. Some things – like working, dishes, washing clothes, showering at least once a week – HAVE to be done. I’ve always struggled with routine things. I don’t want to do it, I don’t feel like doing so it is so hard to complete it. My therapist told me this phrase just the other day and it blew my mind. I don’t have to enjoy it, get mad about doing it, even want to do it, but I do have to do it. Reframing things in your mind is really helpful!
And, finally, I was told “who cares?” Now, that sounds awful. But truthfully, even people you see every day won’t remember what you wore or say. The only people who do care are those who like/love you. And they understand if your self esteem/anxiety/depression gets in the way once in awhile. If they don’t understand, then they don’t matter!
Personally, I’ve found keeping a journal helps me too. Write down the things that bothered you that day. Then find an equal or greater number of things that you enjoyed or made you smile that day. Eventually you train your brain to help see the good things over the bad.”
Do you have any good advice for people who are struggling with self-esteem?
If so, please talk to us in the comments.
Thanks in advance!