Just because it’s not against the law doesn’t mean it’s normal…not even close.
We don’t think about it much, but we’re allowed to do all kinds of wild, weird, and crazy stuff that is 100% legal…but it still makes us look like psychos if we actually do them in public.
Are you ready to get weird?
Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about this.
1. Pretty specific.
“Wearing a pair of whitey tighties on your head so your eyes see out the leg holes and you can feed yourself through the Y-front.”
2. I’m gonna be sick.
“Take a mayonnaise jar, empty its contents, and fill it with vanilla pudding.
Sit down and eat in public.”
3. I’ll try this.
“Eating a burger upside down.
People look at me like I’m crazy but it’s the best way to get the flavor”
4. Totally legal.
“Sit on your front porch in a bathing suit and start eating jello with great enthusiasm.
Then begin rubbing it all over your body.
5. Not cool.
“Sitting next to someone on public transport, when there are plenty of other seats where you wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.”
6. You’re scaring people!
“Taking photos of people on the street, or even on their property.
If you can see them from public locations it’s perfectly legal to photograph them here, but can be creepy as f*ck.
It’s for this reason I don’t do street photography – too easy to be seen as a creeper!”
7. What are you doing?
“My husband likes to go outside and cut the weeds in our lawn with scissors and put them in a small plastic bag because our pet Guinea pigs like to eat them.
A few neighbors have stopped to ask him why he’s cutting his grass with scissors, and he just tells them he’s the new landscaper.”
“Apparently, eating cold spaghetti out of a plastic bag, because my friends constantly give me sh*t for it.
It’s a versatile food container, it will fit wherever you put it in, and the only dish I have to worry about cleaning when it’s done is the fork if I even brought one.
Cold spaghetti for the win.”
9. Uh oh.
“Fill a Windex bottle with Gatorade and drink in public.
One of my friends did this the last day of middle school.
It was funny until a teacher had a full panic attack and both poison control and an ambulance was called.
He was heavily reprimanded and barred from participating in the graduating ceremony once he finally had a chance to explain that it was just blue Gatorade.
It’s a day that lives in infamy only just eclipsed by the hot sauce incident.”
10. No, I’m good.
“Walk into any store and just lay down.
If anyone asks if you need help, tell them you’re fine.
Then, after a minute or so, stand up and go about your business.”
11. Whatever floats your boat.
“Take a stroller/chest carrier with a fake baby in it, proceed as if it is in fact your living child.
Bonus points if you can throw your voice.”
12. Creeping people out.
“Sitting on a park bench as a grown man brushing your dollie’s hair and telling her what a pretty girl she is.”
13. You looked crazy, I’m sure.
“I went on a little hike with my family. We got lost and went on the wrong trail.
Dumped the kids stroller with a big monkey from Ikea in it. Carried my daughter on the shoulders.
Anyway I went back at 18:00 to pick it up and retrieve our car as well. Sweden so its black outside. So I walk with a stroller with a monkey in it in a pitch black trial in the woods.
If someone saw me, they would think i was a psychopath.”
14. Do you need some help?
“Do T-Rex arms while humming quietly to yourself the Jurassic Park song.
When someone looks at you, stare back and start humming louder.”
15. Out on the street.
“There’s a guy in my town that has a portable karaoke machine and casually walks around singing to himself and dancing.
He’s not a busker or entertainer, just in another world.”
16. I live here! I swear!
“Lockpicking the door to your own house because you’ve lost your key.
Did that a few years ago at my old apartment, a few times actually.
Then the hair salon downstairs was broken into one night, back door had the lock picked.
I then quickly became the prime suspect…luckily I was in the next state that night due to a morning funeral, got there a day early because I wasn’t going to be a pallbearer right after a 4 hour drive.
Believe it or not, caskets are heavy.”
17. Just minding my own business.
“I’m not sure if other people see me this way, but I always feel like a creep when looking straight ahead alone.
I feel like the person in front of my is gonna turn around, see me, and think I’m a creep.
What’s worse is I forcefully look around, but I also feel like that’s weird, and that people will think I’m trying to make it look like I’m not looking at them when I really am.
It’s a weird dynamic.”
18. What are you doing?
“Jogging in place. Anything short of waiting for a light to change and it’s just odd.
In line at the DMV? Jog in place.
Waiting to use the bathroom at Starbucks? Jog in place.
Standing awkwardly in the middle of a full park when you don’t have kids? Jog in place.
Waiting for the hot dog vendor to add relish? Job in place.
Waiting for the waitress to come back with the check? Jog in place.
Standing in an elevator? Jog in place.”
19. I need directions.
“Asking a person for directions like “which way is the forest?” and then going the completely opposite direction.
I didn’t want to go to the forest, my dude!”
“Empty a chocolate sauce bottle and use it as a water bottle in the gym.
That was tasty.”
21. You look crazy.
“My old landlord’s husband was clearing out a bunch of stuff recently after an operation, and the dude collected medieval weapons that he had to get rid of. Asked me if I wanted one, I said sure it would be pretty sick.
So walking back to the car at 10:30 at night, in pitch black, lit only by streetlights, I discovered there is no way to hold a two-handed axe without looking like a crazy person.”
22. You okay, Mom?
“My mom legit started vacuuming the lawn one day when I was in high school.
Mom… wtf are you doing?”
23. Nothing to see here.
“Talking alone/to yourself.
I do it sometimes when alone but it makes you look like a crazy person if you do it in public.”
24. What’s in the box?
“It’s fine to carry around human bones (*ahem* I mean legal specimens) in creepy looking boxes.
Everyone in my anatomy class was given a box and we took public transit with it while smelling like death.
You could literally see creepy people on the bus move slowly away from us.”
25. I’ll take that!
“Taking somebody’s groceries at the checkout.
They haven’t paid for it yet, so it isn’t theirs”
26. Digging graves?
“Digging at night.
I’ve dug a lot of holes at night. It’s too hot to dig during the day.
But the whole time you are thinking, I probably look conspicuous to the neighbors.”
27. Now, here’s a story.
“This one time my ex girlfriend asked me to pick up her prom dress from a friend. I went to the friends house at around 9 pm and picked up the dress. She gave me no coat hanger or anything so I just carried the dress in my clenched fist.
As I was walking back home through a dark alleyway It occurred to me that my hand is pretty sweaty and the dress might actually start smelling bad from all the sweat of my hand. I wanted to check the situation so I smelled the dress.
As I was standing in the alleyway in the darkness of the night, smelling a red dress that I was gripping in my sweaty hand I saw a woman standing several feet from me, scared sh*tless, reaching for something in her purse (a phone? A pepper spray?).
At that point I became more scared/embarrassed than her and ran off. I assume that to this day she’s telling her friends a story about how she was almost murdered by a dress stealing maniac murderer…”
What do you think?
What perfectly legal things make you look like a crazy person when you do them in public?
Sound off in the comments!