This is kind of a tough one…
If I had to deliver a lecture on something, it would either be about hockey or maybe about the history of horror movies.
But since I’m scared of public speaking, I still think I’d have a hard time, even though I know both of those subjects pretty well.
If you got thrown out on a stage, what would your TED Talk be about?
AskReddit users spoke up.
1. Get ready!
“You’re all about to get schooled in New Jersey land use law and how to properly process a variance application.
Hope you are hanging onto your seat!”
2. I’m listening…
You think you know about bananas then you look into it and find out you don’t know anything about bananas.”
“The movie Planes, starring Dane Cook was an expansion on the Cars Cinematic Universe involves a character who was a Naval fighter plane during WWII, which means that there was a WWII in the Cars universe.
This, of course, brings up a lot of questions. Was there a Cars Hitler? A Cars Holocaust? A Cars Hiroshima? Are there tanks in the Cars Universe? Are the tanks sentient too, or are they piloted by other cars?”
4. Nerd alert!
““Why Darth Maul is the best character is Star Wars”.
Basically going from he was a menacing looking villian with a cool theme song, to a rage filled monster who took over the galaxy.”
5. Here we go.
“My favorite shows and movies, and why I like them so much.
Actually, I could also rant about how awesome NCIS used to be and how absolutely HORRIBLE it is now for more than just 18 minutes.”
6. Good advice.
“Been happily married awhile now, and we’ve figured that the trick to our particular long term relationship is a pretty simple three step system.
1. Life is an obstacle course we tackle together.
Groceries? Do it together. Budget? Do it together. Cleaning? Do it together. Walking the dog? Do it together. Dealing with mental illness? Together. Getting the mail? Together.
If it’s a chore, errand, or just something that’s not leisure time fun, it’s time to come together. Split the load 50/50. Battle to do 51!
Neither of us get railroaded into feeling the other is just along for the ride, or not pulling weight.
And if you do it together, you might just find some fun in it!
Spend at least an hour alone for yourself, every day.
Hobby time is important. Alone time is important. Individual friend time is important.
We are here for each other, but we’re not each others entire universes. Game with the boys. Go for drinks with the girls. Get away from each other after all that work, at least for a little bit every day.
We’re still our own people with our own interests that may not interest the other, and we need time to pursue that without feeling bad about it. Have fun with activities you enjoy together, but remember that you’re individuals too!
Accept the olive branch when it’s offered.
We rarely disagree enough to fight anymore, but when we were younger, dumber, and poorer, we definitely did.
Sometimes a foot goes in the mouth. Whether either of us is ready to apologize, if one of us offers that olive branch, we take it.
A simple one second hand on a knee. A glass of water brought over in silence. Dinner put on the table. Yelling from the kitchen if the other wants a soda.
Take it. Accept it. Even if you dont want a soda. Accept the signal. Doesn’t mean the issue is resolved, but it does remind you both that you’re still there for each other. And, at least for us when we did bicker, that little reminder was exactly what we needed to get our jets cooled.”
7. The joys of birding.
“Birds. The joys of birding. Why we need birds. Their migration. Their adaptations. Their songs.
OK, there’s 5 minutes gone by. Binoculars, which ones to buy. eBird, citizen science. 6 minutes. Uh. Funny birding stories no one laughs at.
Why birds have names with innuendos: Dickcissels, Bushtit, Hairy Woodpeckers, Woodcocks. 10 minutes.
Chiggers, ticks, poison ivy, snakes and things to avoid whilst birding
The farthest I’ve ever driven to see a bird.
Yeah. ok. enough. I’m sitting down now.”
8. History buff.
“The Battle of Hastings, 1066.
I can recite the major events leading up to, during, and after the battle from memory.
I could also do WWII and Hitler’s rise to power. I can recite a lot of that from memory too.”
9. The expert.
“Gluten intolerance via celiac disease.
Can’t just worry about it being in food, I have to avoid gluten in makeup, toothpaste, lotion, shampoo, in the air near bakeries, and essentially avoid nearly all restaurants.
And any accidental microscopic dose from it will leave me running to the restroom with bleeding diarrhea and stomach cramps, as well as feeling anxious, hungry, and even horny all at the same time.”
“Cheddar vs Monterey Jack
To all those who demand answers, I shall go up to the top of the mountain and ponder.
When I return, your wait shall end.”
11. An art form.
“Why Professional Wrestling is actually a form of Performing Arts.
8 year old me: wrestling is so cool! Go John Cena!
12 old me: pro wrestling is stupid, it’s all fake
24 year old me: pro wrestling is a very well choreographed act that involves incredible physical stunts and is much more complex than it appears.”
12. A huge impact.
“Alco**lism and its multigenerational impacts on a family.
I talk about addiction basically all day.
18 minutes probably isn’t enough time to cover a topic well enough, but that’s a good start.”
13. Snooze fest.
“Retired engineering professor here.
I can go for hours – with equations – and most of you will be asleep within minutes.”
14. Sounds interesting.
“I would explain how we live in a system that normalizes hard work ethic to the lower and middle class with stringent monochronic focus, low end wage values, and rigorously enforced penal systems focused for blue collar crimes while advocating the opposite for those in higher income classes.
We teach our children that working nonstop everyday is a sign of success. Thinking, discussing, researching, or any other human effort is useless if it doesn’t result in a diploma, money, or se**. In essence, the lower end of the economic scale raise wage slaves.”
15. You already lost me.
“The fascinating physics of DNA molecules.
The structural properties of DNA have some neat consequences for biology.”
“Hey! A hot dog is a taco not a sandwich.
Sandwich has starch on 2 sides, a taco has starch on 3 sides.
A hotdog bun covers 3 sides of a hotdog therefore a hotdog is a taco.”
17. Ramble on.
“Budgeting, flipping houses, long term investments, Jane Austen, travel.
It says more about my ability to ramble on, than any special qualification.”
18. You know what you’re talking about.
“How our society (US) treats d**th.
End of life care, physician assisted s**cide, and breaking the stigma of talking about d**th.
All from a paramedic with over a decade of service.”
19. Let’s hear it!
“Oh, I’m a nerd about a lot of stuff.
How BCI innovations are a game changer and how we will achieve cyberpunk cyborg enhancements sooner than later.
Why we need to start building large scale space habs now. What technical hurdles are still in the way, etc.
Why we need to go all in on carbon sequestration right now and we need to work towards a path of carbon negative.”
“I would explain how beer is brewed, focusing on the science behind it & how that dictates that flavor profile, alcohol content, etc.
I could also discuss, in detail how a high-bypass aircraft jet engine works. Specifically how an aircraft engine is assembled.”
21. A big fan.
If I only touched on one minute of each year of life I’ve spent with them I’d be over schedule.
Feathered a**holes hold a place in my heart.”
22. A horrible day.
“Why the Capitol Insurrection was so scary and so incredibly close to succeeding.
Literally all 45 had to do is go on the air during his 2 minute address and instead of saying “we love you but go home” he could have said “give your lives for the cause push thru the security and hang the cowards who would deny you your voice” and we’d be in a very different, absolutely terrible 2021.”
23. I’m ready for it.
“‘Hypothetical Mechanics of Time Travel Assuming the Existence of a Fifth Dimension, Henceforth Referred To As ‘Metatime’.’
…Roughly three percent of it will be in any way scientifically accurate, but I’m a writer, not a quantum physicist.”
24. Going green.
“How to be an environmentalist without the Jesus complex or screaming Teenagers or Al Gore.
Electric cars are the way of the future. But until they can out range, out rely, basically all out superiority themselves. We should hold off on forcing them on our society.
Bicyclist are bad for the environment because they hold up traffic.
Nuclear energy is much cleaner and safer than any current energy source and we need to invest in that.
Way to sell environmentalism is by showing it does actually save money opposed to lying and feel good strategy.”
“Raising dairy goats
Food preservation (could be broken down into several talks)
Eating cheaply and nutritiously
Foraging wild edibles in the Pacific Northwest
The history and geography of Middle Earth.”
26. Get that bread.
“Sourdough. Became obsessed in 2017.
Eventually quit design in 2018 and became a baker for over a year.
Back doing design now but love to talk about bread.”
“Collodion wet plate process. Doing a portrait right with 150 year old photography gear in mostly the first exposure.
I capture one plate per hour and produce all my chemicals by myself. Totally different approach to work with people compared to digital/film photography.”
What would your TED Talk be about?
Talk to us in the comments!
We look forward to hearing from you!