One of my favorite things about being married is doing random little nice things for my partner. Sometimes I’ll get up and prep her lunch before she leaves for work (I work from home so I never have to worry about that sort of thing for myself). Other times, she’ll come home with a lemon bar from my favorite bakery for us to share after dinner. It’s all about those little moments.
There is, however, a pretty important difference between doing something nice for your partner, and doing… everything for them. That’s what I love most about my wife. We’re both equally comfortable making each other dinner or shoveling out a snowy driveway (seriously, she puts experienced construction workers to shame with her digging).
The dynamic we enjoy is the norm more often than not these days, which may be why Facebook mom Holly Simon‘s recent post about her marriage gained so much attention.
What did she say that stirred up so many people? See for yourself:
The post reads:
Everyday I pick up the towel he hangs on our curtain rod & throw it on a hook in the bathroom, put his hair gel back in the bathroom drawer that was 3in from where he placed it, close literally every. dresser. drawer, and pick up at least two pairs of his shoes somewhere in the house. Religious like.
As a younger wife (especially in the baby & toddler zone) this often made me irritated. “Don’t I have enough to clean up daily after the kids!” Years ago I actually felt bitterness about it.
But these little things represent his presence in our home. What if they weren’t there each day? What else would be missing from our lives? His laugh, his comfort, his guidance? How many women and children are living that harsh sadness out?
The scattered trail of his daily routine means I have a husband who keeps coming home. I’m not doing life on my own. I’m not raising my girls by myself.
And that is a cause for gratitude, not irritation. If you’re in that mode sister, take a breath, this is a common attitude trap for us. And You’re most likely tired. But Remember-It’s not “your burden” it’s your gift.
Thanks to my sis for making me take this pic! We don’t take enough of them-pic of us kissing included-you’re welcome.
Oooooook then. While I’m definitely not one to put down someone’s choice to play a more traditional role in their marriage, I couldn’t help but wonder how her husband was raised the entire time I read this post.
Again, if Holly’s truly happy doing this for her husband then I say good for her for doing what she likes… but to her husband, I’d ask “Seriously bro?”
Just because your wife isn’t on your ass about picking up after yourself doesn’t mean you get to slob out all over the place. Who puts a towel on the curtain rod? Wtf??? And seriously, put away the damn hair gel, the drawer is RIGHT there! I mean really, what are you accomplishing with all that extra time you saved by being such a slob?
Unless you tell me you’ve used all those precious moments you saved – literally SECONDS of your day – to crack the riddle of simple, sustainable, clean energy or solve the Riemann Hypothesis, I’m gonna have to tell you to GTFO of here my dude.
Your wife might be a mom, but she’s not YOUR mom. She’s already got kids to take care of, and while I’m sure you’re a wonderful dad and provider, that does not preclude you from doing BASIC things like picking up after yourself – a lesson that I’m sure you’re trying to instill in your children. What better way than leading by example?
Oh, and Holly, for real, blink twice if you need help, girl. We got you.