Listen, having kids is such a gift… but it’s also a TON of work. And because of that… it isn’t for everybody.
Can we all just admit that right here and now?
We all good with that?
These 11 people without kids don’t mean to brag about their kid free life… but they’re going to. Publicly and hilariously.
Let’s take a look!
1. I mean they’re not exactly alike.
But they do have some things in common.
Family: Why would you get tattoos? They’re expensive and painful to get and they are PERMANENT!
Also family: Have a baby 🙂
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) September 17, 2018
2. I mean, there are plenty of times in our lives when a negative test is a relief.
Like, most of our lives except a very brief window.
Normalize women not being baby incubators by showing them in pregnancy test commercials celebrating negative results
— Rachel Fisher (@TheRachelFisher) February 3, 2018
3. There are so many choices.
This is a good one, though.
condom commercials should just be a live-feed of couples trying to enjoy a decent meal at a restaurant with their kids
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 20, 2018
4. You can make a family out of anything.
And as long as there is love, it’s a good one.
Stop saying “start a family” when you mean “have kids”
A couple is still a family. A single person and a dog is a family. Three weirdly close roommates could be a family. You don’t need kids to be a family
— Kolkata_Chhori (@Kolkata_Chhori) April 29, 2020
5. If only we could have seen the future.
It probably wouldn’t have changed anything. But.
Y’all was making fun of us for being 30+ with no kids… how them loud ass kids treatin y’all during this 24/7 quarantine?? pic.twitter.com/juKvVGL9Vp
— Spike Lo Ren ? (@SpikeReeds) March 31, 2020
6. We’re all better for her efforts, honestly.
No way my kid would have worn that for more than 5 minutes.
People say " You're 40 now. You should be settling down and having kids. "
Well I'm busy at the moment making sure my dogs taco costume is ready for Halloween. pic.twitter.com/K0KWAasT6r
— Destry Monteith Broderick (@DestryBrod) September 8, 2018
7. Dogs are more sympathetic than kids.
They’re not human.
My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 21, 2011
8. I’m just going to set this down right here.
I mean…it’s not a bad idea.
Mandatory vasectomies until you want to have children.
They can be reversed, so.
Come on guys, Lets save lives! What's that? A hard no? Why? Cause it's your body and we don't get to make that choice for you? Oooooohhhhh!!!
— Dave Vescio (@DaveVescio) May 22, 2020
9. Good luck with that.
That would be some kind of magic!
Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed.
Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 5, 2015
10. This is an extremely fair point.
It’s always a toss-up whether my child or my puppy will be more destructive on any given day.
Biggest scam ever…
Apartments charging pet fees but not children fees. My cat literally lays on a blanket all day while I can literally hear children beating on the walls.
— Shalinda Kirby (@ShalindaKirby) August 9, 2018
11. This isn’t the way we wanted everyone to find out, but…
We’re so proud.
[Thanksgiving at the In-laws]
Me (patting wife’s belly): “Remember you’re eating for two now”
Mother-in-law (smiling): “You mean…”
Me: “That’s right. She’s got a tapeworm”
— ??Frank Whítehouse ?? (@WheelTod) November 13, 2017
You don’t need kids to be happy… but it might be a bit easier to maintain your sanity without them.
Which of these tweets did you think summed up the kid-free life the best?
Let us know in the comments!