It’s time for another installment of funny tweets from moms and dads who are in the depths of the parenting game!
They’ve been there, they’ve done that, and they’re here to speak some truth.
Let’s see what they had to say!
1. Take that!
That’ll show them.
There’s no such thing as monsters I tell my kid as I turn out his light and run the fuck down the hall
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) March 3, 2022
2. They are good at that stuff.
Why not take them up on it?
I was having problems with my work computer so I called my IT guy and he was like, “You really need to stop calling me when I’m at school, Mom.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 3, 2022
3. Uh oh…
That’s not good.
thoughts and prayers for my daughter who misunderstood evolution and is now mourning that she didn’t morph from a kitten
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 2, 2022
4. Don’t even bother.
They’ll be fine!
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 3, 2022
5. Smart kids.
Older kid gets the bigger portion.
Told my kids they had to share a donut and they whipped out a ruler, protractor, scale, and magnifying glass
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 3, 2022
6. One and done.
That’s all you got in you.
Dear school: I have the energy to put effort into a costume for my kid once a year and that’s October 31st. So stop asking me to dress her up as an old person, a book character, her future career, or anything else. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 1, 2022
7. Out of her hands.
Good luck to you.
Ladies please remember I did my best when you are on a date with my son and he orders spaghetti.
— Lady Kilmartin: SF Punchline Mar 28-Apr 2 (@anylaurie16) February 28, 2022
8. How did all that get in there.
It can’t be possible!
Cleaned out my kid’s backpack, if you’re missing something let me know because it was definitely in there
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 2, 2022
9. Out of the will.
That’s what you get.
My daughter told me that my belly is more squishy than a pillow so I’ll be accepting applications for a new heir
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 3, 2022
10. Not quite the same.
But it is what it is.
Parents, you can still do all the things you used to love. There’s just a kid screaming in the background now.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 3, 2022
11. Good idea.
How has no one thought of that?
When my kids were little they called the baby monitor the momitor and honestly why isn’t it called that?
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) February 26, 2022
How about you?
Do you have any crazy stories about raising kids?
If so, share some good ones with us in the comments!