We feel very confident today.
We think that we have curated an incredibly strong collection of tweets today for you to enjoy immensely.
And they’re funny, too! So that means you’re gonna laugh, too!
What else could you possibly ask for?!?!
Well, I guess we technically could ask for a bunch of other stuff, but we don’t want to come off as greedy, do we?
So here’s how this is gonna work: you’re gonna sit back, take off your shoes (and your pants, if you want to), kick your feet up, and have some laughs. It’s as easy as that!
1. I love a nice father and son relationship.
I love you, Dad!
teacher: your son was caught smoking pot
me: did he say where he got it?
teacher: yes, his best friend
me: [tearing up] he really said that?— marf (@MarfSalvador) April 18, 2018
2. It’s gonna go one of two ways…
Either way will be worth it.
why they gotta make these gummy multivitamins taste so good but you’re supposed to only eat one a day like if i eat this whole bottle right now am i gonna be exTREMELY healthy or is my heart gonna stop
— search Keefler on spotify (@Keefler_Elf) April 1, 2019
3. That’s very impressive.
I think you just got hired!
Interviewer: what is your greatest strength?
Me: I always feel like crying but almost never do
— 💥 (@punsfornuns) July 12, 2019
4. I’m with you!
It can be hard to stop sometimes…
Did you know that goldfish will overeat until they die if given the chance?
And so will I.
— 💥 (@punsfornuns) July 10, 2019
5. I’ve wondered this my entire life.
Who’s holding everyone up?!?!
How tf is traffic real? Just go bitch
— tess🥀 (@tesspaisan) July 13, 2020
6. Hold your breath.
Well, how else are you gonna listen to that conversation?
I’m so nosey I will literally stop breathing just to hear someone’s conversation
— The Brand™️ (@strangestatic) May 24, 2021
7. Really blew that one, huh?
Well, you gave it your best shot.
i’m sorry i roasted you i was trying to flirt
— Maruf (@m3aruf) September 20, 2019
8. I don’t think you’re alone on this one.
Ladies, let’s hear from you!
Am I the only wife that makes her husband sleep on the side of the bed closer to the door so if someone breaks in, they kill him first?
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) March 27, 2019
9. This is a good plan.
It’s called REVENGE.
I've been monitoring what my ex watches on my Netflix account lately, so that moment it looks like she's really getting into a show, I can change the password. pic.twitter.com/BRJWF5jJYf
— ilovekanye!! (@datboikeni) June 24, 2020
10. Oh, isn’t that sweet?
I thought you were gonna say something else…
Tested positive for co…nstantly thinking about you😔
— izaak (@izaak_madera) September 12, 2020
11. I’ll go ahead and start.
Well, I’m sorry to hear that.
How is everyone doing? I’ll go first, I’m doing bad
— ELLIE TINDALL (@Ellie_Tindall) July 22, 2020
Have you seen any hilarious memes lately? Wait… you have?! Us too!!!
Well, don’t keep them all to yourself! You gotta give to get more!
Share them with us in the comments! Thanks!
