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When I was a kid, I understood that as we got older, we got taller. So far so good. I was also informed by my mom that some day, I would most likely be taller than my older sister, since boys tend to be taller than girls on average.

With these two bits of information in my head, I came to the conclusion that one day, I would be older than my older sister. I was elated. Because age means seniority, and seniority is power. Soon I would be at the top of the pecking order. I lorded this over her, only to have her shut it down with a “no, that’s not how it works.”

I was livid. Inconsolable. My dumb kid brain couldn’t put it all together. But it makes for a funny story now. Just like these tweets!

12. I’m sorry?

We need to find a new way to communicate this sentiment in English.

11. I said IF

That kid’s gonna grow up to have an anxiety disorder.

10. Screen it

It’s fun to have superpowers for just a little while.

9. Pig out

She a little confused but she got the spirit.

8. The nug

He’s just trying to improve the recipe, why won’t you live a little?

7. Baby you’re a firework

It’s gonna be an explosive realization later in life.

6. The nose knows

Riiiiight, that’s your story and your sniffing to it.

5. Ahoy there!

Hey, as long as they’ve got a name to attach to it.

4. Sleepy time

Sounds like you need to find a better dealer, kid.

3. Master of sneak

Kids love this game and every single one of them is horrible at it.

2. A magical realm

Not sure if this really happened or not but man is it funny.

1. Cyber sleuth

*Hacker voice* I’m in.

From the mouths of babes, am I right?

What’s a dumb thing a kid has said to you?

Tell us in the comments.


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