Oh parents… you have such a hard job. Not only do you have to deal with all the nonsense that kids bring your way… but then you ALSO have to realize that maybe your kid is indeed a moron.
That’s why we wanted to share this AskReddit, where parents all across the world share their “My child is an idiot” story.
All parents have one of these stories… and now you’re going to read 12 of the best!
1. Never heard of paper?
“I was in the shower yesterday when my phone rang. I asked my 13yo to answer it.
He says ” um…she’s in the shower”.
Then silence. I asked him to take a message and he responds “how do i do that?”
I had to explain how to write i note on a piece of paper…..”
2. Gifted and talented?
“My 14 yr old soon went into a dressing room to try on 5 pairs of pants. After waiting 15 min and yelling twice into the men’s dressing room to see if was ok, he admitted he couldn’t find the shorts he had worn in. He gave me 3 pairs of the pants and still couldn’t find them.
I finally had to go into the stall to look. They were balled up in the leg of one of the pair of pants. It was extremely noticeable. He swore he took his shorts off before trying on any of the pants so he didn’t think to look in them.
I was speechless. He’s in the gifted and talented program in our school district.”
3. I mean, he is only two…
“My dad loves to tell the story of him teaching me to tell time. I had just learned money, so a quarter was 25 to my small brain. After about an hour of trying to convince me that it was only 15 minutes in time, my mom walked in the kitchen to both of us crying out of frustration.
Also my step son is almost two. He is tough as nails. Last night we were helping him do front flips. He would just put his head on the ground and we would flip his legs over his head.
Apparently at some point, he thought he had it by himself and took off running just to jump and face plant on the floor.
He looked up at me so proud of himself. I just said “good job buddy” and tried to deflect my laughter.”
4. Dumb, but thoughtful
“My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head around the area he was standing. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing.
He told me, “I farted. I’m trying to smell it all up, so you dont have to smell it.”
He’s a thoughtful idiot.”
5. Out the window
“I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips.
Just leave them on so that we don’t have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store.
Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck.
One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. “Daddy, I didn’t want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window.”
Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.”
6. Yeah, sounds like a dad problem
“My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn.
After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.”
7. A literal “know it all”
“When my son was 11 years old, he confidently informed me he was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know.
Because he tried to think of something that he didn’t know, and couldn’t think of anything.”
I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don’t have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store.
Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck. One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found.
“Daddy, I didn’t want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window.”
Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.
“When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.
Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.
He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.”
10. C’mon kid!
“He knew there was a frozen pizza in the garage but couldn’t find it.
Didn’t even think to check the freezer.”
“When we had to take down our shed and my son took a chainsaw to the support posts….from the inside.
Fortunately, his brothers are not idiots and they stopped him.”
12. This is good
I asked my kids what the biggest dinosaur was and my oldest (15Y/O male) said paleontologist without skipping a beat. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.
Then my friend told my 10-year old that the dirt on the car tasted like candy, so he licked it. He tried to get his 6-year-old brother to do it but even he wasn’t falling for it.
At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually.
Did we tell you or did we tell you?
Kids are dumb… but we love ’em. We’re almost legally obligated to love them. Most of the time.
Do you have any stories like this? Share them in the comments!